Roll up, Ladies and Gentlecreatures, the Bluestocking has been redecorated

[DeanElderberry]

Here for your delight and delectation is the hostelry by, for, and about wise, intelligent, creative and kind women, their assorted avatars including (but not limited to) a remarkable beetle, an astute android, a wise cake, and an assembly of companion creatures and animal assistants.

Food and drink available in abundance, all with remarkable non-damaging qualities.

Males may congregate in the nearby Staunch Ally and sometimes visit the stableyard to view outdoor performances by the gerbil waitstaff (who need to be distracted after the moment after that terrible 'misunderstanding' about the meaning of safe sex).

last thread here if you need to know why the Quokkas need some extra cuddles, and why the Cabybaras are being particularly efficient just now

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5273255-the-bluestocking-all-gerbils-welcome-must-have-own-frou-frou-skirt?

Correction

There WAS a stash of Tunnock's.

Hehehehehehehehehehehe

Ooh… I think HTG may have escaped! It must be something else that’s still snoring in the drawers….😬

That lock picking course in 1989 finally had It's uses.

Unfortunately after opening them all I discovered the hybrid had eaten its way through the back of the trunk and then through the wall. God knows where it went!

@Boiledbeetle

My guess is the smuggled stash of goodies in the snug. They’ll be droppings in that chocolate 🙄

Good news! I found the HTG in my pocket.

And what's the bad news, Cake?

I'm sure that there was only one of them yesterday.

The dormitory seems to be “pan-rodent” I think I can see guineapigs among them too!

Just select your fabrics & haberdashery from the Smug Snug & make your way to the sewing department in the east wing to choose your own room.

OK! I have now had enough! The devil take your gerbils, your quokkas, your capybaras and your fucking red fucking pandas? I don't mind goats et al in the fields around the Bluestocking and I love dogs in a pub but I expect that when I place an order for a large Plymouth Gin and tonic, it will be serviced by a competent, female human being who won't either break out into an impromptu song and dance routine or moult into my drink.

Is that too much to ask?

PS. Got back to the hotel this evening after a particularly shitty day and got the stupid gerbil serving me.

@JanesLittleGirl wrote

I expect that when I place an order for a large Plymouth Gin and tonic, it will be serviced by a competent, female human being

Oh, dear. I’m not sure The Bluestocking employs any of those. But I’m often wrong.

Oooooo is this an AIBU post in the wrong place,

AIBU the gerbil malted in my gin FFFS

and then sang and danced at me what a twat….

I love a grumpy post Jane’s

cheer up you have us

I called Sarah. She's great. Very efficient. Definitely no gerbils around.

We don't have any female human bar staff, so I asked one of the resident ghosts to serve you. She doesn't shed.

Sorry, I just needed a rant. I spend my working week in a hotel in London. I want it to be my home from home and most of the time that works. I had had a crappy day at work and wanted to feel comfortable in the hotel bar. I asked for a large Plymouth Gin from the freezer with a small bottle of tonic. Shit for brains half-filled a huge goblet with ice, poured a double shot of Gordon's over it, chucked a slice of lemon in and then squirted it up to the brim with draft tonic. And then got shirty when I invited him to pour it down the sink and serve me what I asked for.

Oh dear... but at least, I hope, no moulting or unwanted song and dance routine?
Here... the bottle may look like Gordon's but it contains whichever gin you desire.

@Bannedontherun wrote
AIBU the gerbil malted in my gin FFFS

Am I right in thinking that the Horlicks in The Bluestocking is gluten-free? If so, please send a gerbil over with my malted bedtime drink. It’s been years since I was able to enjoy one.

A propos of nothing much, I used to eat several Horlicks tablets after I’d been swimming when I was at school. Even if they aren’t available anywhere else any more I’m sure The Bluestocking will have some.

Draft fizzy drinks are no substitute for bottled ones, @JanesLittleGirl, I agree.

Interesting how even expensive hotels or bars don’t understand the difference.

I ask for mineral water and am served with spring water. I ask again, with the same result. If I have to drink plain water then at least give me what I ask for.

Am I right in thinking that the Horlicks in The Bluestocking is gluten-free?

I'm sure it can be, though tbh I'm mystified what gets malted to make it with.

When MN reviews the picture I can show you, @ErrolTheDragon

Tonic nowadays pisses me off...everywhere seems to have that insipid fevertree stuff, and the supposed 'light' stuff is full of fructose - I don't want sugar in my gin.
Obviously the Bluestocking has it, if that's your preference but also the good old slimline Schweppes.

Well yes, Glad, but isn't that going to have gluten? What gluten-free grains can be satisfactorily malted?

(I hope you don't mind me calling you Glad. DHs favourite aunt was Aunty Glad, she was a lovely and feisty woman, fitted her name well)

I have just discovered a sad thing.

Schweppes ‘zero sugar’ contains sodium benzoate (a preservative) which my digestive system can only cope with in The Bluestocking. Standard Schweppes tonic used not to, and was my drink of choice at Saturday afternoon knitting meetings in a cosy pub pre-pandemic.

I’ve just checked the ingredients online, and it now does. Bah, humbug.

<Gerbil enters stage left carrying a large Plymouth Gin and tonic>

<Gerbil places drink in front of pissed off woman>

<and cue music...>

Version one https://suno.com/song/4dfe29d1-95e4-4a18-8362-e201374ae512

version two https://suno.com/song/9637cdf9-b8a5-4f75-89a2-d1a0d8f5be1d