Autumn leaves, crackling fires, quokkas and puffins at the Bluestocking.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

A new thread - with apologies to the gerbils for leaving them out of the title.

Soz

Can you describe the situation using gerbils and quokkas?

It's no good! I know it's cold and miserable outside but all these fires are playing havoc with my hot flushes!! I'll just nip to the staunch alley see if it's cooler in there...

Nope!

I'm currently feeling a little warm!

I sincerely hope it’s the former not the latter. I think Puffins could well be my favourite bird now I think about it. I loved seeing them flying around the cliffs at an RSPB bird sanctuary in Northumbria when I was a kid.

What's it like with herding goats

Surely a passing puffin or 2 could gently cool you by flapping their wings?

I went to Lundy Island to see the puffins. They are fabulous.

Don't go to the Faroes.

Barnacle geese were categorised as fish and could be eaten in Lent. Allegedly. But it may have just been a makey-uppy invented by that obnoxious shit Gerald of Wales.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barnacle_goose_myth

We went on a boat trip round the Farne Islands, and saw puffins - it was amazing - although it was raining hard, and there was almost no shelter on the boat and dh and I got drenched. And every time the boat went over a wave, some of the sea threw itself into the boat, over us all. Worth it, though.

I remember seeing puffins in Pembrokeshire, many years ago. Cute little things!

I had always assumed they were extinct like the dodo until I was probably about 40!

Quokkas are friendly animals, I have no idea why they choose to live in the Bluestocking but do know that female Quokkas have two vaginas, the better to take advantage of the males' bifurcated penises.

Their smiling faces have earned them a reputation as the happiest animals in the world.

The gerbils are waitstaff but also maintain a dance troupe and are practicing Busby Berkeley routines with which to entertain us in the cabaret bar at the rere of the Bluestocking.

This is the best effort copilot could come up with after three or four attempts. Someone will need to turn the straw round so magpie can actually get at it.

I am at a loss as to why there is a slice of lemon with a tiny magpie perched on it on the other side of the glass.

That's more like it @inkymoose!

• I wish we could help with the work sitch, Faffertea,.*

Would FuzzyPuffling's inspired suggestion about using quokkas and gerbils work?
But they are both so cuddly and cute I can't imagine any workplace contretemps with them - you might have to introduce something like a sociopathic seagull to your dramatis personae to fully describe the situation.
In the meantime, enjoy the warm fire and the chocolate and the wine and the cake and the company.

BTW has it been explained to you that food consumed in the Bluestocking has neither intoxicating alcohol, damaging glucose, gluten nor calories?

Oh I give up!!

Flippin eck made some dinner and come back to deafening chat….

got used to snoozing at the last pub location.

It is amazing how a pub relocation on a shiny new thread is very invigorating.

Right @Boiledbeetle cough up a couple of snowballs - or else!

Its my desert pretty please

BTW has it been explained to you that food consumed in the Bluestocking has neither intoxicating alcohol, damaging glucose, gluten nor calories?

And that the Tunnock's Snowballs are perfectly safe being left with me to look after

😏

Erm.... We "appear" to have run out! Had a massive rush on them earlier!

Honest!

I'm going to get slightly sozzled at this rate! Hic!

Looks around....

No one looking in my direction?
...

how does one wrestle a Beatle down?

Is "coughing up snowballs" similar to "coughing up furballs"? I do hope not.

With a little help from my friends?

(Responding to Bannedontherun)

@Boiledbeetle I thought I'd come up with a clever cheat, but no...