Everyone scarper, the rozzers are coming

[ArabellaScott]

Dawn Butler's called the polis on us! Quick everyone, namechange and look busy.

https://twitter.com/DawnButlerBrent/status/1737853431413657806

Sooo if the rozzers turn up in the next 2 hours, would it be good etiquette to make them erect a table and chairs or no?

I misread this as erect a tent, and thought "surely the police don't have enough gazebos to put on each of our front lawns", then remembered that if they do, history implies they bring along a plastic tub filled with tea and biscuits.....

I got bored waiting so I've gone to the pub.

I know it's early but if its my last day of freedom I'm making it count.

The Shawshank Redemption is on BBC3 tonight - it's a long film, will the filth try and arrest all of us while it's on, knowing that we'll all be watching for tips?

@IdidntseeanythingandIamnotBoiledbeetle

food swap - I'm afraid we have 8 for Christmas day alas they are not mine to give away. But hope remains dh has accepted the challenge and rarely disappoints.

I'm not sure I want to be sprung by my briefs after being picked up by the fuzz

This is why I love MN FWR S&G.

I reckon that would smart a tiny bit.

I've just had my death row meal. Italian, red wine and now I'm home some Reece's pieces.

Fucking hell is it likely to be that severe a sentence? Are they rolling this out specially for little old us?!

I suppose that's what we get for committing 'literal violence'.

Footage has emerged from Polis Scotland HQ. They've decided to just arrest aw the wummen to save time.

Hairy flaming Jesus things have progressed a bit. Pack your bags ladies, we're off to Texas!

Okay. What kind of jags do you need for Texas? Is it hot, will we need sun block?

Dang Armadillos. Lots of 'em.

You can ask them to arrange a foster service for pets.

I'm less clear that they accept responsibility for children, dependent family members, or the Christmas Ham. Can you transfer it to a slow cooker on a timer to be on the safe side? Is it in Coke, Pepsi, or a nice stock?

ok it's after 5pm I'm cracking out the bailey's if the police turn up after I've been drinking I'll just treat it as an excuse of why I'm being sarcastic.

Look I know it's likely I'll get snitched on for this, but I'm in the middle of making the 'traditional' cauliflower cheese.

I will also be having a pineapple pizza Christmas eve so I imagine you lot will shop me for crimes against taste in addition to aggravated snarking.

making a 'traditional' cauliflower cheese; stick a wee bit of mustard in it'll keep them on there toes

Frankly pineapple on pizza requires a death sentence. It is a crime against humanity.

Soz.

https://imgflip.com/i/8ab4c5

Yes that's how my husband feels about pineapple. Pretty sure he's called the fuzz from behind a curtain.

There was a black SUV with tinted windows parked outside this afternoon. I sat here patiently with with my bag packed for a free stay but nope, it was a false alarm. Is this delay a deliberate tactic? It was Dawn’s account hacked as a parody?

It was drug dealers

Good for soup?

Does DB actually get paid for this crap?