Everyone scarper, the rozzers are coming

[ArabellaScott]

Dawn Butler's called the polis on us! Quick everyone, namechange and look busy.

https://twitter.com/DawnButlerBrent/status/1737853431413657806

Yes..................or a giraffe

Do we have to climb every mountain as well.

Oh that's very annoying but does explain why no one has ever done a "running on ketchup" video. But all the more reason to send it in as a tip to a shitmag, I think they pay extra if it's factually inaccurate or slightly dangerous.

I've definitely observed wet icing sugar though. I was making some for a birthday cake a couple of weeks ago and when I was stirring it, it seemed the perfect thickness, and every time I stopped it liquefied again so I had to add more and more sugar, I haven't actually checked if the Internet thinks it's definitely non-Newtonian but it certainly looks that way.

Is giraffe prison just the zoo? Could defo spend xmas at London Zoo. We have passes, so DH would get free parking when he visited.

I'd like to mark myself safe

Ocado have been,
they left the sprouts and cranberry sauce
they have not I repeat have not taken me into custardy.

Unofficially told there wasn't enough space in the cells to house everyone who thinks Dawn Butler would say anything no matter how stupid if you paid her enough money.

More importantly never mind the sprouts did Ocado bring Tunnocks?

Bewildered Christmas diners: Why is there ketchup beneath the trifle custard Lark?

Me: Well...it's a long story...

<checks newly installed Ring doorbell>

One tunnel has to be called felix surely.

I'm here, to whoever's taking the register.
I AM SPARTACUS.

I'm also waiting on a table and chairs delivery(# late) alcohol delivery and I must dash to Asda pretty soon for the things we couldn't get last night. I've done a list and I might leave it in the trolley so someone can do a thread on the list they found. I'll become infamous. They will want it signing I'm sure.

Sooo if the rozzers turn up in the next 2 hours, would it be good etiquette to make them erect a table and chairs or no?

Sooo if the rozzers turn up in the next 2 hours, would it be good etiquette to make them erect a table and chairs or no?
I've left a tip off on Crimestoppers that a giant sticker saying Adult Human Female is revealed when all assembled. So you should be good for it being sorted.

@334bu 🤣

One tunnel has to be called felix surely.

Unfortunately that tunnel just goes round in circles and you would have no chance of escape.

@IdidntseeanythingandIamnotBoiledbeetle NO

My tunnocks craving kicked in after the editing cut off had passed. What's the point of trifle and profiteroles when what you actually want is a proper caramel wafer!!!!

DD has a friend who works there. I'll have a word and see if they can smuggle in extra rations.

Go to Jail? Free Parking? Are we now playing Monopoly at Christmas, because that never ends well..

The musician Felix has a song called "Giraffe," I'm nominating it for the soundtrack of the film.

It's suitably Ocean's Eight in my opinion.

I sent husband and daughter out for the Radio Times and mixers for our ocean of spirits, just so I could wait in for the fuzz

Not a perp. Sorry, peep.

But we just don't know that for sure do we!

I mean obviously some of us do!

As its the right thing to do at this time of year (and I have neither trifle or profiteroles in my fridge) I'm happy to do a food swap!

If I self-identify as a Rozzer do I then have to arrest myself for impersonating a police officer?

C'mon Dawn Butler MP, did you lie on Twitter about setting the Polis on us to polish your halo at some prat with 34 followers?

Dawn? Dawn? You there?

Not if you really, really feel like a police officer.

i like the idea of booking the Police for arrest like Ocado. Rozzers in the Custard(y) Van sounds good.

I'm gutted. I haven't been arrested yet and have been working since 8am and if they don't come soon I'll have to do my full shift. I never want to see people again. Except you lot, I can live in prison with you lot, as long as you all realise I don't actually care if you've been queuing for ages, you chose to come here today, I didn't.

I'm about to put the gammon on. What happens if they arrive just as it comes to a nice simmer?