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Original poster

Everyone scarper, the rozzers are coming

1000 replies

ArabellaScott · 21/12/2023 19:42

Dawn Butler's called the polis on us! Quick everyone, namechange and look busy.

https://twitter.com/DawnButlerBrent/status/1737853431413657806

Everyone scarper, the rozzers are coming
OP posts:
Thread gallery
92
EdithStourton · 22/12/2023 09:10

NewtonPulsifer · 22/12/2023 07:56

Morning future cellmates!

I have been waiting for the Met’s thought police to arrive. I even got a stunt pineapple for my fruit bowl should there be a photo of the moment of my arrest.

i am concerned that my mugshot won’t be my best look, as I am nursing Sellotaper’s
Lip from wrapping presents.

You need one of those sellotape dispenser things. Truly a miracle in the festive season. They are heavy and bulky though, so the rozzers will probably find it when they frisk you.

Soubriquet · 22/12/2023 09:19

Ok…so now I’m gonna look like a complete animal fetish person, but….

ducks have a corkscrew penis, and the female has two tunnels inside her vagina. If she likes the male, she will allow him to fertilise her. If she doesn’t, she will send him to a dead end. He still gets to rape her but doesn’t fertilise her..

Beowulfa · 22/12/2023 09:25

Does anyone else ever amuse themselves on their dreary commute by noting places that might make good hideouts* if you were ever on the run? I do, so I'm on my way now.

*I've bagsied behind the bins at Wimbledon Waitrose

Nanny0gg · 22/12/2023 09:28

goodthinking99 · 22/12/2023 00:01

It's getting quite late, and there's been no polis at the door yet. Maybe it'll be a Dawn raid.

I'll get my coat...

😅😅

KCandtheSunlightBand · 22/12/2023 09:30

The female of any/all species are bloody amazing!

SidewaysOtter · 22/12/2023 09:31

BrendasIronSledge · 22/12/2023 08:55

I'm not one for conspiracies but.....R4 are doing a piece on Edelweiss and the Von Trapps just now.

Is that the code signal to make for the border?

KCandtheSunlightBand · 22/12/2023 09:32

And one day I will be amazing at IT and get my reply to tag onto the original post, in this case about ducks!

axolotlfloof · 22/12/2023 09:32

Pack a pencil and notepad and we can compose some poetry in the clink.
I am calling mine
The Insanity of Dawn Butler.
If I use the time wisely I will be able to include:

  • She said 90% of giraffes are gay
  • She thinks babies are born without a sex
  • She thinks women talking is a crime.
Maybe I should also take my unwritten Xmas cards....
Original poster
ArabellaScott · 22/12/2023 09:41

They sold me a dream of Christmas
They sold me a silent night
And they told me a fairy story
'Til I believed Mumsnet was far right

OP posts:
Rightsraptor · 22/12/2023 09:49

Excellent rhyme, Arabella.

I have cast iron sellotape dispenser, which could make a handy weapon.

I'll pack it, just in case.

12BottlesOfVintageChampagne · 22/12/2023 09:51

Oh, my pelvic floor 😆

Merry Christmas, you magnificent lot - Mumbledore's Army 💪

Grimpo · 22/12/2023 09:52

I think I'll confess. I quite fancy a nice restful Christmas Day in a cell instead of slaving over the turkey. Do you think they'll let me take my crochet in?

Spero · 22/12/2023 09:52

Just commenting so I can be arrested and give some really, really, really long answers in my interview.

Lolapusht · 22/12/2023 09:53

@DennisNoelKavanaghOffTwitter DENNIISSSSSSSSS!

Sweetie, how lovely of you to pop over to Mumsnet Towers! Wonderful to see you. Do have a rummage around while you’re here. Top quality bantz to be had…check out the Mexican House Thieves and Penis Beaker. All the lols.

TTFN!

CandyLeBonBon · 22/12/2023 09:54

Grimpo · 22/12/2023 09:52

I think I'll confess. I quite fancy a nice restful Christmas Day in a cell instead of slaving over the turkey. Do you think they'll let me take my crochet in?

Edited

Deadly weapon innit.

Original poster
ArabellaScott · 22/12/2023 09:55

For the good rozzers of the Met:

God rest ye merry gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember Dawn from Labour
Has got Mumsnet put away
To save us all from Satan's pow'r
When we were gone astray
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy

OP posts:
CandyLeBonBon · 22/12/2023 09:57

Soubriquet · 22/12/2023 09:19

Ok…so now I’m gonna look like a complete animal fetish person, but….

ducks have a corkscrew penis, and the female has two tunnels inside her vagina. If she likes the male, she will allow him to fertilise her. If she doesn’t, she will send him to a dead end. He still gets to rape her but doesn’t fertilise her..

Don't, whatever you do, watch 'the woman who was fed by a duck' on ROAR.

I'm just saying. (Link here to save your browser history. images.app.goo.gl/nQ7BoyheA8fgDBV5A .You're welcome)

NotBadConsidering · 22/12/2023 09:57

Spero · 22/12/2023 09:52

Just commenting so I can be arrested and give some really, really, really long answers in my interview.

Remember everyone, if asked, we all have mobility scooter called Dwain.

OP posts:
TinselAngel · 22/12/2023 10:00

KCandtheSunlightBand · 22/12/2023 09:30

The female of any/all species are bloody amazing!

And more deadly than the male.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/12/2023 10:00

They sold me a dream of Christmas
They sold me a silent night
And they told me a fairy story
'Til I believed Mumsnet was far right

Hallelujah Noel be it heaven or hell the Mumsnet you get you deserve

Grimpo · 22/12/2023 10:01

TeaMistress · 22/12/2023 07:09

This. A Labour politician has the absolute fucking gall to refer to other women as "Nasty, vicious and inhumane". Dawn the Dim needs to take a long hard look at herself and her politics before she dares throw those kind of stones at other women. Labour hate women. They want to silence women. Dawn hates women speaking up about biological fact.

Show quote history

No, Labour don't hate women, self-evidently. The fact that they have one woman in their ranks whose judgment is, shall we say, rather poor, says nothing about the party as a whole.

Soubriquet · 22/12/2023 10:03

CandyLeBonBon · 22/12/2023 09:57

Don't, whatever you do, watch 'the woman who was fed by a duck' on ROAR.

I'm just saying. (Link here to save your browser history. images.app.goo.gl/nQ7BoyheA8fgDBV5A .You're welcome)

Show quote history

Ok…..curiosity wants me to click that link……dread tells me not to

Soubriquet · 22/12/2023 10:05

WHY DID I CLICK?! You rotten bother

Froodwithatowel · 22/12/2023 10:06

<kneeling, gabbling>

Hail Stonewall, full of rainbows, Judith Butler is with thee
Blessed are the gay giraffes, and blessed are those who don't talk about quiche when they should be taking things seriously
Holy Mermaids, mother of all safeguarding
Grant corporate virtue signaling teflon to the sinners

I think we're covered, guys. Remember how the big kids do it? Stonewall, Boris, Mermaids, Wee Nicola? Look 'em straight in the eye and identify as it never happened.

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