A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2

[Boiledbeetle]

Thread 1:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4776556-a-mumsnet-thread-about-a-book-about-a-mumsnet-thread-under-the-duvet-of-darkness-written-by-the-women-of-mumsnet?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

You do not need to have read thread 1 – this is not that sort of thread.

But to recap… Over Christmas and New Year after the passing of the GRR (Scotland) Bill a thread was started with a poem about Nicola Sturgeon. Eventually on that thread (and a couple of other threads) over 80 poems were written.

“Under the Duvet of Darkness: Poems written by angry women for angry women because WOMEN WON’T WHEESHT” was published as a paperback on 31st March 2023.

Available on Amazon only: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0C129WKDD

In a rather bizarre turn of events at one point it reached No 2 in poetry best sellers and No 5 in Feminist Criticism best sellers. No one will be surprised to discover that a book that is in the main about people, especially men, claiming to be something they are not was kept off the No1 spot in poetry best sellers by a crime novel, identifying as poetry, written by a man ;-)

E-BOOK:

Some people wanted an e-book rather than a paperback, but for that we needed someone who could actually make an e-book and some extra poems.

FairyKindleMother came to the rescue with regards the e-book and posters wrote enough poems that we could add 20 more poems into the e-book.

I pressed publish on the e-book a few hours ago. It can take usually up to 3 days to appear and populate all the info etc on the various sites, and there is always the chance they knock it back for some reason. But I've done all I can do at this point. We just have to wait and see who spots it on sale first! It will appear on the Amazon link above hopefully soon, (or I'll get an email asking me to change something).

MONEY FROM SALES OF ALL FORMATS:

In honour of Magdalen Berns, who co-founded the Scottish campaign group For Women Scotland, 100% of the profit from the sale of this book will be donated to For Women Scotland.

“It’s not hate to defend your rights, and it’s not hate to speak the truth.”
Magdalen Berns (1983 – 2019)

As I started work on the e-book posters continued to write poems. So we had a choice: leave them there, languishing on the thread, unloved, forgotten, never to have their words uttered again OR we could just do volume 2.

Posters voted for Volume 2 but we still need more poems!

And that’s the gist of thread 1.

😁 I've never heard that one before but I like it!

Are you not tempted yet to give us a poem? You could even do this from the male point of view!

Time for a link to the current one

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0C129WKDD

If anyone feels like

buying it

leaving a review (if you don't want to leave a written named review you could just give it a star rating, 5 obviously😘)

Clicking the helpful button on the existing reviews (just don't click helpful on the 1 star review!)

The more reviews there are the more random people who aren't from mumsnet will notice it.

And also for those that do Twitter if you could like my pinned tweet and/or retweet/quote tweet it at some point that would be good!

https://twitter.com/TheBoiledbeetle/status/1642544774669385729?s=19

Begging ends!

My favourite photo of it out in the wild👇

Found an unposted poem in my notes

GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY

Furious irrational thugs.
Unsurprisingly these annoying
Cockends think them (!)
Know better than
Outbrave actual women.
Facile misinformed bullies!
Females will win.

This should be the foreword 😀

Don't sit there looking like a constipated owl! There are poems waiting to be read!

Like it!😆

An Ode to the Cervix Grower - Haiku

Mate, you have so lost
Your grip on reality.
Do fuck off you prick.

😁Aimed at anyone in particular@Waitwhat23 ? or just a general fuck off?

(feel free to PM the answer if necessary, I can put things in the book i can't put on the thread! wink wink nudge nudge!)

It's aimed at the fud who has threatened the nation with displaying his cervix on national TV and is currently screenshotting perfectly reasonable and rational posts on another thread and sharing them on Twitter.

I won't say his name directly because 1. Post will be deleted and 2. If you say it enough times, I'm sure he appears, like Beetlejuice.

I suspected as much. 😁

Irrational Willyboy, I presume - re the cervix not cervix?

Shhhh! Don't jinx the thread.

Just writing a merkin poem to ensure EM buys the the next volume!

If you do use "Constipated owl," please don't credit me, but my gran!

Comment by a posters gran! Well we've had mention of a posters mum, so it's fitting!

Huzzah! She had a wealth of quirky comments. Another apt one for trying to reason with TRA nuts:

Don't bother, it's like trying to teach stones to fart.

I ❤ your gran

THE MERKIN LADY

It was a bleak day in December when the Bill from hell was passed.
We’d all sat and listened to the most egregious lies rehashed.
Knowing that the politicians had been whipped to vote
was doomed to be the only thing to cling on to whilst we coped.
Then the voting was all over, and the proclamation read.
The women of the country felt they might as well be dead.
Our rights had just been decimated to placate the whims of men,
Nic knew what she had bloody done, but she didn’t want to ken.

Then like an angel from above the heroine of this piece
floated from the sky on clouds of silk and fluffy geese.
She floated through the air like a sky nymph wrapped in love,
surrounded on her journey by a pitying of turtle doves.
They gently placed her…

What do you mean it didn’t happen quite like this?
This is my re-telling of that moment of historic bliss.
Can’t I have my fantasy of how it all played out?
Shit! Imagine if the history books believed me without doubt!
OK! Ignore that bit. Scrub from ‘Then like an angel from above’
So back on to the true version of my historic merkin love…

After the Bill was passed, and in a fit of pique,
Elaine Miller, she decided, that she just had to speak.
And as she finished speaking, she lifted up her skirt,
and the merkin of this tale proved to be an extrovert.
It flashed itself to Parliament and to a recording phone.
Then, it hit the world stage, and now it sits upon its throne.

A piece of women’s history was sealed in that moment.
A highlight in the misery. A most wonderful bestowment
to those who’ll pass the story on to the future generations:
The Merkin Lady raised her skirt, to save them from privations.
She stood up for her rights, and what she knew to be so true,
to make the world a better place for every one of you.

And so now the Merkin Lady holds a spot within my heart.
She makes a smile appear, for what she did was like fine art.

Screams "I LOVE YOU ELAINE" (The stalker vibes emanating off me are purely coincidental. Honest!)

Boiledbeetle:· Today 17:09

I ❤ your gran

I did, too. I think that her greatest moment of magnificence was when she was banned from her (rural) local pub.

She upset some Irish road workers, with her bad language.

So, something to ponder...

The Merkin Lady herself was enquiring earlier about the possibility of doing a live event with some of the poem writers.

Just putting that out there.

God this has been a very surreal year so far!

And we have another addition to the Tunnocks chapter!

From the Tunnocks thread

CervixSampler · 15/08/2023 21:06

Tunnocks Sisters

Rise up women!
Come one and all,
Come with your Tunnocks
Whether wafer or snowball
If a teacake's your thing
Then you must of course bring
A box or two, or three or four
And share them with your sisters as we march on tour
Fighting strong,
Marching long
Never wavering
From that sweet flavouring
We all do adore.

By Cervix Sampler (bereft at the lack of caramel wafers in my tin).

And so I don't forget I've asked

Boiledbeetle · 15/08/2023 21:32

Oops, where are My manners! I really should ask before I pilfer your poem.

assumes best Paddington bear hard stare.

Can I put your poem in the book?

Obviously, big sigh, you CAN say no.

It's not advisable though! I'm prone to sulking!

CervixSampler · 15/08/2023 21:41

Please do! I'd love to see it published. I used writing poetry to get through my teenage years. The Tunnocks is just a little ditty for fun.

@Boiledbeetle I think I love you 💚🤍💜

Why thank you 😘

Here you go Boiledbeetle:

I close my eyes
Pull up my duvet
In the darkness
And hope to dream
Of sweet things
Of perfect diamond patterned wafers
Nestled next to layered caramel like lovers
Shrouded in chocolate
A thin robe of silken sweetness
In the darkness
I lie awake
Awaiting slumber
And slowly drift on clouds of mallow
Sticky sweetness
Encased in a dome of delight
These sweet dreams
Lead me through the night
Under the duvet
In the darkness.

Thanks Cervix.

August is proving to be a slow month, but we've had 7 sales, which is better than a slap in the face with a wet kipper!

I have achieved nothing to day, but have had two naps already. Looks at laptop... Ugggg.

Dd has said she will take your book into school for her reading book. It's a fully captured place with rainbow blocks painted on the bricks and a big rainbow flag flying outside 🙄 They have a Mx as a biology teacher ffs.

Without going off and checking she is a teenager isn't she? I think I'm right. I hope I'm right!

Can you imagine the one of horror if darling little Cervix is 6!

I look forward to the outcome! You've raised her well I have to say!

Full on terf. And so young! There is hope!