A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2

[Boiledbeetle]

Thread 1:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4776556-a-mumsnet-thread-about-a-book-about-a-mumsnet-thread-under-the-duvet-of-darkness-written-by-the-women-of-mumsnet?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

You do not need to have read thread 1 – this is not that sort of thread.

But to recap… Over Christmas and New Year after the passing of the GRR (Scotland) Bill a thread was started with a poem about Nicola Sturgeon. Eventually on that thread (and a couple of other threads) over 80 poems were written.

“Under the Duvet of Darkness: Poems written by angry women for angry women because WOMEN WON’T WHEESHT” was published as a paperback on 31st March 2023.

Available on Amazon only: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0C129WKDD

In a rather bizarre turn of events at one point it reached No 2 in poetry best sellers and No 5 in Feminist Criticism best sellers. No one will be surprised to discover that a book that is in the main about people, especially men, claiming to be something they are not was kept off the No1 spot in poetry best sellers by a crime novel, identifying as poetry, written by a man ;-)

E-BOOK:

Some people wanted an e-book rather than a paperback, but for that we needed someone who could actually make an e-book and some extra poems.

FairyKindleMother came to the rescue with regards the e-book and posters wrote enough poems that we could add 20 more poems into the e-book.

I pressed publish on the e-book a few hours ago. It can take usually up to 3 days to appear and populate all the info etc on the various sites, and there is always the chance they knock it back for some reason. But I've done all I can do at this point. We just have to wait and see who spots it on sale first! It will appear on the Amazon link above hopefully soon, (or I'll get an email asking me to change something).

MONEY FROM SALES OF ALL FORMATS:

In honour of Magdalen Berns, who co-founded the Scottish campaign group For Women Scotland, 100% of the profit from the sale of this book will be donated to For Women Scotland.

“It’s not hate to defend your rights, and it’s not hate to speak the truth.”
Magdalen Berns (1983 – 2019)

As I started work on the e-book posters continued to write poems. So we had a choice: leave them there, languishing on the thread, unloved, forgotten, never to have their words uttered again OR we could just do volume 2.

Posters voted for Volume 2 but we still need more poems!

And that’s the gist of thread 1.

This is to prove I'm actually not just sat on my arse playing candy crush.

I mean I am, but I'm also on with the thingy. Honest.

I've just stuck a poem on each page and printed it off. Which turned out to be a nightmare as printer 1 decided to break and printer 2 was at the back of the room of doom. Of course printer 2 once rescued from the depths of doom wouldn't work with the new laptop so i then had to email myself the file so i could print from the old laptop.

Why is stuff never easy!

Anyway, now I can mess around with them.

Laughs evily!

Sits with a pile of paper.I

Sighs.

Contemplates changing username and disappearing into the ether

Oh god why? Why did I decide this was a good idea!

Fuck it.... Series one of original star trek is begging me to continue watching. I'm knackered just from printing all the poems out. That's enough for one day!

Yes, she's 14 and my pride and joy. She tolerates no nonsense from the alphabet soup brigade at school and is polite but firm in her challenges or just refuses to discuss the ideology. I think her year are more sensible than some previous years. I'm considering sending ds to the Catholic high school to avoid the gender woo.

I can see mine in that pile! It's very exciting 😃

Hopefully by the time your kids are done with high school all this crap will be done with!

😁 I've just had to look at the actual photo. Your eyesight is good!

Of course I have no idea what poem numbers you will end up as, but until the final order is set you are P121 and P122. It's the only way I ensure I don't fuck up!

I'm just thrilled to be included in there and in awe of your dedication.

It's only day two, I'm pacing myself. I've got no clue as to what poems are in there at the moment or what numbers they are. Give me a week or so and I'll know these poems and their numbers backwards.

I'm finally at the point where I can no longer find anything immediately in the first one which means the first lot are sufficiently forgotten that I'm not getting them mixed up with the current ones!

This wasn't what I imagined I'd be doing with my life this year if I'm honest!

Cervix and the Amazing Technicolour Tunnocks Wrapper..

Good for your Daughter of Immense Sensibleness, by the way!

Nrtt, I've been avoiding it. I'm late to the party but inspiration was not striking. Every idea I had seemed

Well, I've gone with teenagely portentous, if not pretentious. With sincere apologies to all teenagers. As I said, I haven't read the thread, if I have plagiarised someone it's a total coincidence, but, as McGonagal is in his grave, I think it's unlikely. And mine doesn't rhyme. It also just.....stops.

Without further ado

When the World Went Mad

I'm not sure what I was doing
when the world went mad
Nothing momentous
Possibly cooking tea
As lesbians suddenly had penises
Or hanging out the clothes to dry
When rapists were taken to women's prisons
It was when my back was turned
That breasts were chopped from language
and the bodies of children
Maybe I was at the shops
While politicians forgot what women were
Or alone and nervously walking home
As men stripped off in the ladies changing rooms
Surely not while having a smear
That cervix became a word that must not be said
When was it that I stopped being mum?
And became the birthing parent
I don't remember being asked
I don't remember my opinion being sought
I don't think anyone asked if I minded

Anyway tea was made and eaten
The clothes are dry and put away
I made it home safely
This time my smear was clear
And to my children I'm still 'mum'
(though also 'terf')
So, I'm not waiting to be asked
I'm giving my opinion
And I do mind 🦕

😍

YAY! Cake wrote a poem! Cake wrote a poem!

Does a little happy dance around the living room.

and that's enough exercise for one day.

You lovely little gorgeous cake you!
💕

Another couple of sales.

And as for volume 2 I have officially done fuck all today!

Like I said it's a process. A process that involves regular naps and polishing the roof! Anything actually other than what I'm supposed to be doing!

I was woken at fuckoff o'clock this morning by a Magpie pecking at the moss on my roof. So, when you've finished polishing yours, would you pop round to do mine?

I'll lay in some Tunnocks.

I'll reword that, it sounds wasteful, kinky and really, really sticky.

I'll get some Tunnocks in.

We must be neighbours! Although probably the next road. I had a bird issue early this morning.

Someone had dropped their chips on the way home last night so I awoke this morning to a flock of seagulls (not the band) sat on my roof in between bouts of street fighter playing out in the middle of the road!

And pleadr don't lie in the Tunnocks, trying to clean the mess up is so difficult. Do I use the brush, the mop, the Hoover, my tongue?

If you laid on a bed of Tunnocks, I dread to think of the bath required. You'd probably need to be helped by someone with a pressure washer.

If you laid on a bed of Tunnocks,
I dread to think of the bath required.

You'd probably need to be helped
by someone with a pressure hose

Then when you're all clean
And they are all tired

You can send them to bed
On the later if Tunnocks from which you arose.

And no this one is most definitely NOT making an appearance in volume 2.

I'm not that cruel to readers.

I'm up and ready to get started.....

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Layer not later!

Why can't you see mistakes before you press the post button? I'm convinced the letters change as you press the button!

And, as I lay me down to sleep,
I pray to God that Tunnocks keep
Out of my ears, or I'll not hear the alarm

Sticks second cake poem in pocket

There is currently some that have not yet found their first chapter home. But I've got most of them into what are currently the most boring chapter headings ever.

Until I've had time to read through them all a few times they can stay where they are though for now.

@Boiledbeetle at the risk of sounding a bit diva-ish, I, somehow, wrote my poem very quickly and it's very much a first draft. I'm pretty happy with it (while being simultaneously embarrassed by it) but there are a couple of changes I'd like.

Could I change the 2nd 'asked' (line 20?), I think it's repeated too soon. The best substitution I can think of is 'questioned'.

A comma after 'Anyway'.

That's it.

I'll be in my dressing room.

Erm..

Well this is embarrassing.

If you'd like to repost the corrected version that would be fine.

And then I might actually get around to printing yours off.

😘

Dim problemio

When the World Went Mad

I'm not sure what I was doing
when the world went mad
Nothing momentous
Possibly cooking tea
As lesbians suddenly had penises
Or hanging out the clothes to dry
When rapists were taken to women's prisons
It was when my back was turned
That breasts were chopped from language
and the bodies of children
Maybe I was at the shops
While politicians forgot what women were
Or alone and nervously walking home
As men stripped off in the ladies changing rooms
Surely not while having a smear
That cervix became a word that must not be said
When was it that I stopped being mum?
And became the birthing parent
I don't remember being asked
I don't remember my opinion being sought
I don't think anyone questioned if I minded

Anyway, tea was made and eaten
The clothes are dry and put away
I made it home safely
This time my smear was clear
And to my children I'm still 'mum'
(though also 'terf')
So, I'm not waiting to be asked
I'm giving my opinion
And I do mind 🦕

Many thanks😁