Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Kink shaming

181 replies

Pota2 · 31/08/2019 09:05

www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/hack/the-porn-you-watch-shouldnt-be-kink-shamed/11453254

The danger with this is, if anything goes in terms of fantasies, how can we legitimately separate this from e.g. fantasies about children? If it’s cool to fantasise about rape and abuse, how can it not be cool to fantasise about a 9 year old child being abused or an animal being abused? I know that those who defend the ‘anything goes’ attitude will say ‘of course there is a difference’ but I can’t really see one, unless you are suggesting that rape is not as morally reprehensible or something (in which case, why isn’t it?).

This won’t end well. Sexual fantasies should be held to the same level of scrutiny as other fantasies or thoughts. If you get off on being violent to another person, you’re still a violent person. You don’t get a get out of jail free card because you say it gives you a hard-on.

OP posts:
MrGHardy · 31/08/2019 11:13

It is only a kink if you publicly tell it. Otherwise no one would know about it. And if you make it public, you cannot demand people not criticize it.

Fraggling · 31/08/2019 11:14

Bespin I was talking about images of child abuse as you well know.

testing987654321 · 31/08/2019 11:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Bespin · 31/08/2019 11:16

Fraggling

no I would not say it pushed them too it at all. I woudl say they have built a fexation around something had no relational stability or boundaries in place and limited consequencal thinking possibly due to social circumstances or upbringing. but then I would actually be explaining why these acts occur.

Honflyr · 31/08/2019 11:17

what about fanfic

It's a legit concern, loads of young girls don't watch porn but consume rape and incest fanfic on the regular, and kids come across it very easily because it's on the same website as benign kid fiction... On a porn site at least if you're going on there you expect some form of sexual content etc

Fraggling · 31/08/2019 11:17

I am very uncomfortable with the way rape of women and girls and violence against them is presented on TV especially some usa glossy drama. Remember csi years ago with a scene where a naked woman's breasts were shown with water trickling down them, camera lingering lovingly.

She was on the slab in the morgue.

The eroticism of VAWG is not new.

In porn though the violence is real. The woman is actually being hit, pushed, thrown, choked etc

MargueritaBlue · 31/08/2019 11:19

Are they so stupid they don't realise why there are taboos against incest, paedophilia and bestiality?

People taking part in these activities deserve to be shamed to the highest heaven. Their actions are damaging to the individuals concerned and to society as a whole.

MargueritaBlue · 31/08/2019 11:21

Yes I will kink shame anyone who gets off on watching women being abused

I will kink shame anyone who gets off on watching any person or creature being abused.

DickKerrLadies · 31/08/2019 11:22

Yep, totes about the storyline and the acting.

Has anyone's mum ever believed that line?

Fraggling · 31/08/2019 11:23

Fanfic point is interesting

For sure it's totally inappropriate for teens etc

It's not the same as having people do the thing in real life though

If this woman was reading erotic stories about rape again I'd be less fussed. However what she is doing is watching people whose circumstances she has no idea about, actually being choked etc. Not the same at all.

I just remembered. I used to read an erotic fiction site years ago. Most of the stories seemed to be by women. I stopped for a bit and when went back a year or so later, it had really changed. Men dominated the writing and the vast majority of stories across all categories were about incest.

It was grim tbh. I didn't know so many men had a thing about fucking their kids / other men fucking their daughters.

Bespin · 31/08/2019 11:24

testing987654321

as you are clearly on here just to offend people with a temporary user name. Shall we just carry on with the thread.

Honflyr · 31/08/2019 11:27

I get that point Fraggling, I suppose I was thinking more about the general romanticisation in fiction of these things and how that can lead the younger female audiences to internalise these things or essentially be brainwashed into the kink community, if that makes sense

Bespin · 31/08/2019 11:27

Are they so stupid they don't realise why there are taboos against incest, paedophilia and bestiality?

there are social taboos against these things again in the USA some states allow child marriage something that is a social taboo in the UK. so they are stupid right.?

truthisarevolutionaryact · 31/08/2019 11:30

Excellent OP Pota2
We absolutely should kink shame extreme and harmful porn practices and those who promote them. That's how parents - especially mothers - keep children safe. By recognising that too many men don't have boundaries in relation to sexual behaviour and - if given free rein - will erode the boundaries of others.
It is interesting how many people with an open interest in extreme porn and sexually inappropriate behaviour have been able to actively violate women's boundaries and, enabled by powerful men in power, have suddenly been successful in removing years of hard won rights for women and children to safety, privacy and dignity. It's chilling that until recently, the only times I would hear this lack of respect for boundaries was from an abusive predator. Until now.....

DickKerrLadies · 31/08/2019 11:35

as you are clearly on here just to offend people with a temporary user name.

I've heard that's happening quite a bit here at the moment.

Bespin · 31/08/2019 11:36

DickKerrLadies

yes me too, I'm suprised other people didn't point it out.

Fraggling · 31/08/2019 11:36

Child marriage is wrong bespin and should be made illegal globally.

Your comment seems to suggest that one culture should not comment on the practices of another culture even if the practice is child rape.

Is that you Dr h? GrinGrinGrin

DickKerrLadies · 31/08/2019 11:38

Usually, I try and avoid obvious trolls. I'm not always very good at it.

Bespin · 31/08/2019 11:38

Fraggling

no the opersite I think that cultures should be mindful of there own practices when calling on others to stop. I too think child marriage is wrong in all countries but take issue when it is seen as a third world issue when it is not.

Fraggling · 31/08/2019 11:38

And actually most counties don't allow marriage until 18, the UK is out of step, with our age of consent as well.

Which is all very interesting.

Is it trying to say, child marriage exists in some countries so images of csa are OK? Something like that. It's not terribly clear.

NotBadConsidering · 31/08/2019 11:39

Can we stop using the word “taboo”? It’s suggests it’s something naughty. Incest, rape, paedophilia and bestiality are ILLEGAL. They are illegal because of the immense harm they cause and lack of consent. People aren’t being “kink shamed” because they get off on “taboo” subjects, they are being linked shamed because they get off on subjects that are illegal and cause immense harm. Lack of consent turns them on.

And if people don’t want to be shamed for that, stop sharing it. I don’t, for one second, believe that if we all stopped being such prudes and didn’t “shame” people, then these people could open up about their difficulties, address them and the vast underground world on the deep web of horrific images of abuse would cease to exist. Bullshit. All that would happen is a drift towards normalising such acts, like people parading as dogs at Pride in front of children. I don’t see them grateful for not being pushed “underground” to allow them to deal with their kinks better Hmm.

Fraggling · 31/08/2019 11:39

Who on this thread has indicated that child marriage is a 'third world issue'????

Try and keep on topic, seriously.

Bespin · 31/08/2019 11:39

DickKerrLadies

Well they seem to have gone now I think they just wanted to have a post deleted or something who knows, why some people come on here and what they get from it.

Bespin · 31/08/2019 11:41

I think the point was that some of those things are illegal but sadly not everywhere in the world, to various levels.

ballsdeep · 31/08/2019 11:42

'step. Daddy' and step sibling porn and losing virginity porn is incredibly popular on sites like porn hub and the like. If it was illegal, surely they wouldn't be allowed to be shown on sites in the UK? I understand in real life, incest etc isnt legal.