What's so great about being a woman?

ghostlyghoulie · 2016-12-26T00:27:04+00:00

Ok, so am being slightly tongue in cheek and expecting some funny answers, but... am also wondering how many wonderful reasons I can put to teenage daughter wanting to trans to male.

Bluntness100 · 26/12/2016 00:30

I think that a female wanting to transition to male is about much more than the benefits of either gender. As such I would look to start to see if I can seek her proffesional support to explore her thoughts.

I'm shocked any parent would think looking for gender benefits is the way to go, posting light hearted threads about it, but I hope this isn't a troll post as it's really not funny,

ICJump · 26/12/2016 02:02

There is a great blog on gender trender about this.

But rather than the best buts can you talk about the reality of what she's proposing. Also search for peachy yoghurt in you tube

BitOfFun · 26/12/2016 02:09

Friendships and empathy from other women.

Xenophile · 26/12/2016 10:47

Not having to pretend you give a shit about whatever toxic masculinity has decided you have to enjoy, from violence to not having any feelings at all.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 26/12/2016 12:04

I was going to post reasons but I find the question a bit absurd to be honest (and have now got Shania Twain playing as an ear worm) so I will second the comment below.

But rather than the best bits can you talk about the reality of what she's proposing. Also search for peachy yoghurt in you tube

Don't Google " best thing about being a woman". I just have and the results which came up , including an article from Cosmopolitan, were of a level of inanity to make Shania's song almost profound.

SVJAA · 26/12/2016 12:12

All the things I enjoy about being a woman are because I'm happy to be a woman though. If your DD wants to transition I don't think anything will change her mind, because it's a need rather than a want isn't it.

Hellmouth · 26/12/2016 12:13

I think that a female wanting to transition to male is about much more than the benefits of either gender. As such I would look to start to see if I can seek her proffesional support to explore her thoughts.

This.

MysticTwat · 26/12/2016 12:25

Isn't your dd a lesbien? I think the main thing you need to concentrate on is showing her detransitioning clips also maybe find her lesbiens roll models to talk to .

Being a teenager girl at the moment is quite challenging if you don't fit the current gender stereotypes, then add on top the lesbien element.........

Original poster

ghostlyghoulie · 26/12/2016 14:27

Sorry guys - I was feeling light-hearted. Having survived Christmas. Feeling tired after cooking, cleaning, serving others. And wondering really 'what is so great about being a woman...? Sorry. Really not a troll. Just a misjudged moment. It can be tiring sometimes...

OP posts:

Original poster

ghostlyghoulie · 26/12/2016 14:29

I do love Peachy yogurt - thanks for that

OP posts:

QueenOfTheSardines · 26/12/2016 16:45

I'm not sure there are "best bits about being a woman" because I don't know which bits (bar the obvious biological ones) are to do with being a person or a woman.

It's also a bit impossible because I might think something is a good bit but I've never been anyone else eg male to compare what it's like for them.

Other problem is when I think about the bits that are to do with being female rather than being a person and enjoying my own interests etc most of them are either neutral or rather shitty so that doesn't help much either!

Honestly I think this whole thing is a bit of a mess. Being a teenage girl was always shite, in the past girls had different ways of trying to deal with / avoid it all. Now there is the "swop out" option and it's girls who are taking it at an ever increasing rate - I'm not particularly surprised. Breast binders for eg what female can't see the appeal of being able to obscure your bust when you're starting to get sexual attention from men and you don't like it / are too young to even start being able to handle it.

DeviTheGaelet · 26/12/2016 17:18

Oh your poor DD
I don't know what age she is but when I was 15 an older female relative (in her 60s then) told me 15 was the worst age as a girl and life just carries on getting better from then. And she was right. It helped me a lot.

I think the health downsides of transitioning FTM are worth highlighting. The incontinence from hormone treatment and potential osteoporosis is scary. It seems like males tolerate oestrogen much better than women tolerate testosterone but I may be misinformed about that.

I've also heard lesbians say that meeting up with other older lesbians and understanding lesbian culture helped them feel more accepting of themselves, maybe that could help if she is gay?

noeffingidea · 26/12/2016 18:17

I don't think there are any 'best bits' about being a woman. It's just a matter of accepting one's biological reality and making the most of things.
The only thing I can think of is that I was the parent who carried our children, felt them move inside, etc, and to me that was a privelege. Of course, that isn't going to be of any comfort to the many girls/women who don't want to have children or who don't enjoy being pregnant for any reason.
I agree with a previous poster, I would focus on reality. There are considerable health risks attatched to long term testosterone therapy. Not to mention, unneccesary surgery.

QueenOfTheSardines · 26/12/2016 18:29

Thing is when you're 15 you don't have much sense of your own mortality. Not to say it's not worth sharing that stuff, but I'm not sure that an increased risk of osteoporosis X years down the line is going to have much impact with a young teen IYSWIM. TBH I do things that have long term risk / are bad for me now and I'm in my 40s... When I was a teenager I had no concept of risk etc at all, I was terribly reckless. I'm sure I wasn't the only one.

That is a problem with all this isn't it - the age of the young people making sometimes irreversible changes makes them vulnerable almost by definition.

noeffingidea · 26/12/2016 19:24

queen that is a problem, of course, but I think what is more tangible is to emphasise that there is actually no such thing as 'transition'. A woman can never become a man, or vice versa, and I think some teenagers are being sold false promises. From what I understand, some young people genuinely believe that their DNA will change, or something, and they will actually become a member of the opposite sex, whereas in fact a FTT will still be a woman on testosterone (and presumably a masectomy) and a MTT will be a man on oestrogen therapy perhaps with some surgical modifications. Both courses have consequences rather than easy solutions.
I've always believed that the most important thing we can do for our children is to help them accept reality, which is why I brought them up to be religion free, no such thing as ghosts, horoscopes and homeopathy are shite, etc etc. Life sucks for all of us at times, deal with it.
It's a shame that some young people are being failed by the 'system' nowadays.
Not directed to the OP. Sorry I can't help you, OP. Have never been in your situation and I really feel for you and your daughter.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 26/12/2016 20:03

I don't agree being a teenage girl was always shite and it's not particularly helpful here. (It's not been said on this thread but it annoys me a lot when I see comments on transgender threads on here along the lines of " life is so crap for a girl it's understandable why girls want to transition ftm)

Teenagers of both sexes have a tendency to blow things out of proportion and taking a short term view of life.

I don't think there are any 'best bits' about being a woman. It's just a matter of accepting one's biological reality and making the most of things

Agreed.

QueenOfTheSardines · 26/12/2016 21:12

It is shite though. Growing up is difficult - this is fairly well accepted. Starting periods is grim. Growing breasts can be painful. The attention you start getting from men is for many confusing and upsetting.

Yes it was always shite - and I'm sure still is. I doubt teenage boys have a particularly good time either but I think it's probably worse for girls. The changes are much bigger and more sudden and the way people act towards you changes very quickly from "child" to "young woman" ie sex and that's very hard to deal with.

Not to say that there aren't things like friendships, family, learning things, hobbies etc which are all good and discovering things like music BUT these are not gender sepcific are they. The girl-specific stuff is pretty shite. It's boobs and periods and men leering at you.

QueenOfTheSardines · 26/12/2016 21:21

I also wonder what the explanation is for the growing popularity of breast binders / the fact that girls are hitting the gender clinics in increasing numbers if it's not to do with girlhood / female puberty / expectations on teen girls etc.

Because for adults it's majority men who are transitioning (now and in the past) and so there must be some explanation for this reversal in young people.

If we rule out "it's a bit shit being a teenage girl" then what explanations are there?

When I was at school anorexia was rife, girls were making themselves puke in the bogs, there was a lot of pressure from each other (!) and from boys to have sex, and there was a lot of grown men being inappropriate (with words more than anything else unfortunately) and we just had to deal with that however we could. Lots of drugs around as well. Looking back - it was all new and exciting but definitely scary at times as well and with a lot of pressure. The eating disorders thing - the numbers were incredibly high. Girls used to wear 3 pairs of tights to school to try and disguise how thin their legs were + very baggy jumpers.

QueenOfTheSardines · 26/12/2016 21:22

FORTUNATELY not unfortunately at the inappropriate men

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 26/12/2016 21:32

Yes it was always shite - and I'm sure still is

That may have been your experience. I think that it is ridiculous to assert that as a universal experience.

QueenOfTheSardines · 26/12/2016 21:40

Erm OK

Did you see the recent reports from girl guiding UK, and on self harm, mental health and suicide rates amongst teen girls? There has been a slew of info saying that yes, it is pretty shit, and it's something that as a society we need to look at.

What's your explanation for the increasing numbers of girls transing at this time?

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 26/12/2016 22:06

What's your explanation for the increasing numbers of girls transing at this time?

And what %age of the female population between 13 -19 are we talking about ?

"It was always shite being a teenage girl" is your view of how it was for you.

QueenOfTheSardines · 26/12/2016 22:10

Actually I got off fairly lightly but I know a lot of my friends struggled.

I'm interested to know what explanations you think there could be for girls transing in increasing numbers if it's not to get away from girlhood. Do you think there is weight in this "trapped in the wrong body" stuff? It would seem not from previous comments.

There's also seemingly a gay conversion element to this but I think that side of it may (?) be more relevant in parts of the US.

Seriously puberty for girls is pretty shite. I mean, it just is. Which bits do you think are not shite - that are to do with the female-specific side of things? All the "good bits" of my teens were "people" things rather than "girl" things.

QueenOfTheSardines · 26/12/2016 22:17

Here are some stats which may be of interest:

self harm

suicide

sexual harassment

There seems to be a bit of "dog with a bone" going on here. Let's not pretend that it's easy being a teen girl - it never has been and it never will be. If we do pretend that it should all be plain sailing then where does that leave the enormous numbers of girls for whom it is not?- Well, maybe it leaves them to take some hormones and have a haircut and opt out of the whole thing.

DeviTheGaelet · 26/12/2016 22:21

I agree queen and I also think teenagedom is unrecognisable from when I were a young'un because of the Internet. All the pressure to be on show 24/7. Looking gorgeous and doing cool stuff for your followers on instragram. I'm so pleased I'm not a teenager girl today.