Overdone and unrealistic phrases in books

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

Phrases and things I have read in several books that I don't believe anyone ever says, or does:

"You're incorrigible" - ever said this or had it said to you? Me neither.
"X took Y by the elbow" - never seen, or done this.
"Z raised an eyebrow" - I tried this. It's impossible. I haven't had Botox, either.
"Yes. No. I don't know" - overdone and boring (and lazy)
Older people - 50-somethings and 60-somethings - being portrayed as technophobes, getting confused by "that interwebby thing" and wearing slacks from the Classic range at M&S
Older people calling everyone "dear"

Seriously, none of this happens in real life! (Does it?)

Correct me if I'm wrong.

Peoples eyes. Why do they always look dark or sparkling. I have never looked into anyones eyes and thought that.

You can’t raise your eyebrows? That’s a you thing, not an unrealistic book thing!

I can raise my eyebrows. Both at once but not one by itself. Can you?

She padded across the room.

I've never 'padded' anywhere.

Versions of this exchange happen all the time:

”Her name’s Professor Smith-Johnson.”
”Smith-what now?”

Agree with ‘padded’. Detest it.

Eyes that darken when angry.

Kitchens with a scrubbed pine table and mismatched crockery/sofas

And people patting their hair. Always women. Ever "patted" your hair? Me neither. I've zhuzzed it up at times but I don't know what the point of patting it is.

I can only conclude authors read other books and copy.

I can raise one eyebrow. Many people can.
I do call my daughter incorrigible occasionally because she is.

Yes, I can raise either of them individually. I thought everyone could.

I'm trying now and I just can't! I thought it only happens in books and James Bond films.

"His lips curled" - usually done by the male love interest.
"His slobbering lips" - generally the cad that attacks the heroine of the book

(I read a lot of romantic fiction)

DH pads about our bedroom. It's fucking annoying. I think it's suppose to be elegant in books, it's not.

Being taken by the elbow hs patronising and happens less these days thankfully.

I hate seeing 'For so and so didn't...'

Padding around definitely. What does it even mean?
people, usually women, pulling themselves up to their full height. I can’t say I’ve ever noticed people going around hunched over all the time.

Isn't patting hair quite common? It's always mentioned by body language experts as being a sign of reassuring yourself I believe.

I agree with the second half of your op. But not the first. Love the word incorrigible.

'He rolled his eyes as she spoke'. I've never known what this means but I always picture Marty Feldman when I see this in books.

MindPalace

Eyes that darken when angry.

I swear this sort of thing is responsible for 90% (at least) of the "What colour eyes are these?" threads on MN.
Nobody wants to accept they've got bog standard blue/brown/whatever eyes. They want blue eyes that change to sea green when they're in love or some such.

Also, muscles that jump in someone's jaw when they're angry; only happens if you're chewing.
I suppose they might chomp really hard on their Juicy Fruit if irritated...

It means to be annoyed or exasperated. I do it a lot behind my OH's back 🤣

I can only raise the left one by itself

My sister's eyes darken when she's in a rage. It's because the pupils dilate in order to see the perceived threat clearer, making the eyes appear darker. It's really unsettling.

Glowering. I can imagine what it looks like, but I've never heard anyone in real life use that word. To the extent that I'm not even sure how it sounds out loud!

My eyes do change from blue to green although it is often a reflection of my eye make up. I guess they are a greeny blue in practice. DC1 can raise one eyebrow - many years as a chorister meant they could practice it during sermons.

People having to lean against closed doors to catch their breath after every conversation (usually one where if they'd spoken up instead of fluttering about with their flushed cheeks etc the book could ended there and then).

I can raise my right brow on its own but not my left, so between us we can pad over to the OP and roll our eyes at her not believing this is possible.

"It was all going well. Until it wasn't".

"His glasses flashed".

Lip biting. Adults don't habitually bite their lips.

Women who don't conform always being described as having wild, curly hair.

Archaic language in historical novels that grates on you.

Padding around, as mentioned.