Overdone and unrealistic phrases in books

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

Phrases and things I have read in several books that I don't believe anyone ever says, or does:

"You're incorrigible" - ever said this or had it said to you? Me neither.
"X took Y by the elbow" - never seen, or done this.
"Z raised an eyebrow" - I tried this. It's impossible. I haven't had Botox, either.
"Yes. No. I don't know" - overdone and boring (and lazy)
Older people - 50-somethings and 60-somethings - being portrayed as technophobes, getting confused by "that interwebby thing" and wearing slacks from the Classic range at M&S
Older people calling everyone "dear"

Seriously, none of this happens in real life! (Does it?)

Correct me if I'm wrong.

‘He shrugged.’

I hate that in books. Who does that in real life?

Also, I recently read a book which had ‘took by the elbow’ in a LOT. I’m really surprised that the editor did not pick up on it and say something as it was really irritating by the end.

DH’s eyes change from blue (relaxed) to green (stressed) with no eye make up anywhere to be seen. I was mildly unnerved when I first realised.

I'm guessing it's because the colour of his face changes? Red tones in the face make blue/green look more green.

@whatatanker I have definitely shrugged this week!

@BiscuitLover3678 but women would need to hold up their skirts. The outer skirts wouldn't be washed often, and they would be nearly floor length. If you're going to run down a road (which is not tarmacced, but is a mud swamp covered in horse poo), I can say that you're probably going to pick up the front of your shirts?

I shrug all the time, too.

Maybe I'm fictional? 🤔

@ImJustMadAboutSaffron I can raise my right eye brow on its own. But can’t do it with my left. My husband calls it my evil villain look

im an author so trying not to freak out here but actually I always had a thing with people ripping or tearing clothes off. It has always been a lot more awkward than that for me in real life (trying to get trousers or top off etc;))

Excuse the im by the way, am wincing that I did that!!!

Definitely the eye thing. I may just be the most unobservant person on Earth as I never really notice people's eyes. I couldn't even tell you what colour eyes most of my family have let alone notice if someone's eyes darken from across a room or sparkle with some hidden merriment

In particular those "fostering fiction" yes they're a guilty pleasure!

Using ....She sighed, in every other sentence.

They spend their lives sighing and I've begun to consider emailing them one of these in the hope they learn to vary their language a bit 🤦🏾‍♀️

I've actually just read: You. Are. Incorrigible.

I. Rest. My. Case.

And in the same book, someone has raised an eyebrow.

And an old lady has done some research on the interweb.

My husband calls me dear.

I’m writing a book and this is all good advice- although I probably wouldn’t use any of the phrases anyway. It definitely gave me a chuckle.

In a few years we will see the MN phrase of “fanny flutters” used in books.

Women written by men who stand naked in front of the mirror admiring the curve of their boobs, their teeny tiny waist and Slim hips.

I read a book by Peter Carey that was narrated by his female heroine. On the second page she described herself as elegant. I have yet to meet a woman who would describe herself as elegant. I have to admit I eye rolled at that.

@Redcrayons i once asked why men write from a womens perspective as most don’t get it right. I was slaughtered about that comment. Called Sexist , I should expand my reading, I didn’t know what I was talking about. Honestly. I don’t know why I engage anymore online as I am baffled about what I’m allowed to say or not anymore.

if I was to write a book it would be from a womens point of view as I have no idea how men think. And it is evident that most male authors get it wrong most of the time. Was hounded out the group I was on.

I don’t know why I engage anymore online as I am baffled about what I’m allowed to say or not anymore.

Me too. If only there was a word for not being corrigible.

Marlon James speaks very eloquently about learning how to write from a female perspective, on the podcast ‘We Read Dead People.’

i highly recommend it.

I can (and do) raise one eyebrow, frequently. In fact, I can only raise one (the right) and not both!
I often roll my eyes (usually behind DHs back) instead of verbalising minor irritation.
However, when I was a teenager, my friends and I spent many a rainy Saturday afternoon trying to work out what a 'devil may care' look looked like, courtesy of Mills & Boon!

Oh god yes nearly every book

Also woman who doesn’t know she’s beautiful but is

People can raise eyebrows though op ;

Not just in books but on mn too people overdoing eating words

I saw guzzling they other day which made me feel a bit ill - but all of them slurping, gulping, chomping yada yada

too much

Also woman who doesn’t know she’s beautiful but is

Oh yes.
Occasionally that sort have makeup applied (would never wear it normally as it would draw attention to their over-full lips and eyes that are too startlingly big in their heart-shaped faces) but feel uncomfortable, wash it off (often in a hand basin in a public loo) and immediately look much better.
In reality, without proper makeup remover, they'd end up with streaks of eyeshadow and mascara left and wrecked hair.