Defeated by fatness no more

[BreathingDeep]

Happy Monday!

Following my thread last week about how I, and so many of us, are feeling like we're defeated by our weight, here's a support thread for those of us who don't want stop ourselves from living the lives we want any more.

There were some amazing stories shared and so much honesty about how this is a struggle for so many of us. Here's the thread for anyone wanting to read:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4225173-Defeated-by-my-fatness-am-I-alone

I know that I am sick of feeling ashamed of myself. Sick of hiding away. Sick of feeling that I'm judged for my weight. Sick of feeling that I'm letting myself and my family down. Sick of feeling that my inside doesn't match the outside. Sick of living in the same few outfits because everything else is too tight or looks terrible. Sick of seeking solace in food that doesn't nourish me. Sick of treating myself badly.

If you feel the same, come and join us! Everyone will have their own journey, their own approach and that's fine - please, no criticism or judgement of anyone's plan. The main aim is that we all take steps, every single day, to make ourselves feel better about ourselves.

For me, that means today will include drinking water, taking a long lunch and having a dog walk with a friend (this NEVER happens because work always comes first) and sticking with my Cambridge plan.

How about you?

It is indeed Harpy

The one thing that happens to me is... when I put on weight, I literally put it on everywhere, no idea if everyone's the same. And when I lose it.. ditto.

I am looking forward to losing some of the norks and looking nicer in tops.

@Roussette yep that's me too, it seems to go on everywhere evenly, but I always lose it from my chest and face first. I really want it to come off my belly and arse!
Ive never had it affect my hands before, that must be an age thing, oh joy 🙄.

I've started using a tape measure, I measure various bits before I start and then every time I lose a stone measure again. I quite like seeing those inches come off, it's more tangible than weight loss for some reason. Still comes off my boobs first though!

It goes on and comes off evenly for me too, and while I do look nicer in tops now, my breasts are like part-deflated balloons. I really hope some of the elasticity in the skin comes back. It’s depressing.

The lesson is - I should have lost this weight ten years ago!

Brilliant @Harpydragon! That is one of my goals too - currently I can just about get them on but then they cut off the circulation in my finger, so there's a bit more work to do lol!

Annoyingly, I always lose weight on my wrists and ankles first. They are already the skinniest bit of my body and really not my top priority!!

Well... when I lost 5 stone 15 years ago, my breasts shrunk until they were like two boiled eggs in a pair of socks! Sorry for that vision! 🤣😂

@Roussette LOL 😂 thanks for that vision, something else to look forward to!
@sylv165 it never comes of where you want it to, if be a bit miffed if it did my less fat bits first!
@TheLeadbetterLife I so resonate with the 10 years ago thing. Should have stuck at it then and I wouldn't be suffering now!

Keep on, keeping on!

So doing an end of month check in but will also do our Friday one too - mostly because I am more than a pound up from my lowest haha !
Logging 6lbs loss for June which on the one hand is great but somehow everything seems so slow. Non scales victory last night though, I got into a new pair of jeans that I was struggling with a month or so ago, so that was good.
I think I am semi resigned to the fact that I will never be able to eat exactly what I want , without a second thought and that my new eating habits have got to become my way of life going forward.
Hoping for another 6-7lbs loss in July.

@Onesmallstep67 that's great news. Bet you are really pleased to be able to get in your jeans.

onesmallstep That is great and I echo you with always having to watch what I eat. I dream of being able to eat anything I want and not put on weight. Never happening!

I am going to start trying on some of my clothes I am desperate to wear soon.

I've just done a pre-weigh-in weigh in for tomorrow, I think I'm another 1lb down and am desperate to break the 12st barrier next week. Unfortunately that ain't happening as we are going away and I already have meals booked and we will be partaking of a thimble full of wine each

Hi all, hoping I can come aboard! I’m trying to be brave and get back into exercise I actually enjoy which I’m still finding a bit scary as I literally look like I’ve eaten a couple of classmates…but so far the instructor has been wonderful (pilates-callisthenics mash-up). My Mum was a ballerina so I think I’ve a really stupid ingrained view from childhood of what the ‘right’ weight is for exercise! My Mum is lovely by the way, but I am sure her training has affected her thoughts about herself too.

Welcome Slothkin Do join us! We are all doing our best, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't!

Hi @slothkin, come on in were all gently supportive 😊

I have lost 3 lbs this week, so relieved. I was sat here thinking its coming off really slowly but actually that's a loss of 2.8lbs on average a week which is actually pretty damn good.
If I can do that all the way up to Christmas (might be wishful thinking here) that would mean I would merely be overweight instead of obese! I'm finding that quite a motivating thought. Game on.

Harpy that is momentous! I am mostly a 1 measly pound a week so it's like wading through treacle/pulling teeth.

If I was really good at the weekends I could probably lose more but I would have the permanent face of a bulldog chewing a wasp!

I am however halfway through my desired loss. We have to hang on to these milestones

Thank you @Harpydragon and @Roussette! My weight seems to fluctuate wildly but I’m on track to be consistently overweight rather than obese by the end of the month, which I will be so happy about I may put on a small parade.

We'll get the flags out!

Ohhh I'm doing so badly :( I've lost my mojo again.
In honesty its the PND that has knocked me off track again and children who haven't been sleeping before 10pm but gah. I need to do this.

Well done everyone! You're doing so well :)

@Treaclepie19, I’m sure if most of us were juggling young children and had PND then being strict with our food intake might well be one thing too much to address. This may not be the best time to be hard line with your eating habits. Could you try small changes? Is there something that you eat regularly and then every time you have it you feel a ‘ failure’ ? ( for want of a better word ) did you say that you were getting out walking? Is there a time in the day when you are most likely to reach for food out of habit /need for comfort? It’s been such a difficult 18 months. Hopefully soon you may find opportunities to do things to boost your personal well being xx

Thanks @roussette
@treacle sounds like you have got a lot on at the moment. Have you been to the drs about your pnd? My son is 17 now, but i suffered with pnd and have never forgotten how that feels. I had a sympathetic Dr which helped enormously. Perhaps you just need to focus on eating healthily rather than actually losing weight.. once you start to feel better then you can blitz your weight properly.

Thank you both. Yeah I've got an appointment with perinatal health Wednesday so I'm hoping I'll be feeling better soon.
I have OCD too and food is a trigger for me so I'm expecting too much

I just need to continue trying to make small changes where I can and eventually I'll get there 😊

Sent too soon. I am getting out waking and it's mainly chocolate that is my issue. I could eat chocolate until the cows come home to numb my feelings.
I find between that and easy quick dinners I'm just not able to reduce my calories enough. If I try I can stick to it, the motivation just disappears sometimes.

Treacle Small changes I think is the key. I hope you get your mojo back.

Every little thing helps, I know it does.

I think my problem has always been portion size and I've worked really hard on that these last few months.

@Treaclepie19 I'm glad you're speaking to someone 😊
If chocolate is your thing have you seen the 90 calorie bars for Mars, twix & snickers? I have resorted to those to get my chocolate fix, even if you ate 3 or 4 it's better than 3 or 4 of the usual size! If you have no control than might be better to do without, that's what I have to do with crisps!

Sent to soon! Have you thought of one of the gigs boxes type thing like hello fresh where they provide all the ingredients and you just throw it together? I know you said you were doing a lot of takeaways, this could be an akhenaten. Round us we have a guy who does healthy ready meals that they will deliver, you just order a week's worth at a time. That might be worth investigating too

Thank you both :)
Funnily enough I have just bought some of those 90 cal twix bars! So hopefully that'll help.
I'm pretty good with my self control until it just goes completely. I need to try not to be so all or nothing.

A food box subscription might be a good idea actually!
We're vegetarian but I know there are some good options now. My ds is so fussy anyway that we have to just try and get on with it.