Was I wrong to mind being separated at a wedding invitation?

[Anna1mac]

I was curious and inspired by an earlier threat I read. Long story short, about 8 months ago my fiancée and I were invited to a wedding of his friend's daughter (he's paying so I guess he can invite who he wants). We were told the place and that it would be 1.30pm, for the full day. A few days prior (just over a week ago) we were told it was evening only (totally made sense, we don't even know the daughter!) Then, a week ago on Saturday, the said friend phoned my fiancée and said there's been a mistake and he has a space for the whole day and I am evening only. I cracked up. In the end we went to the evening only, together, as a couple. I feel that my partner shouldn't have even told me, he should have said to his friend "Thanks, but we'll come together in at 7.30pm". And that would have been that. I don't know about you but that's what I would have done. So - am I an asshole for being mad at him (considering I didn't give a shit about this wedding in the first place)? Plus, when we went there at 7.30pm we discovered we were the only ones coming in at the evening!! Oh, and the so called friend keeps telling me how I'm now "family" hah!

You have no idea what was going on in the background, and you appear to have vastly overestimated your importance in their thought processes. Your partner probably shouldn’t have told you all of this, but is it worth your bitterness for all eternity?

There was obviously some unhelpful confusion initially, but it seems most likely to me that another day guest had to pull out the day before, so your boyfriend was offered the spare slot, rather than waste it.

we don't even know the daughter!

Obligation invites are to be declined, going to a strangers wedding (at any time) is pretty rude.

I’m not sure that ‘middle-aged man messes up wedding invite’ is quite the drama you
think it is.

You and your fiancé are - not meant offensively - Z-listers in the context of this wedding guest list - friends of the bride's father who do not know the bride. I doubt much thought as gone into this, a spare space for the day event was offered rather than it going to waste after someone dropped out, I expect.

I didn’t know there was a level of remoteness of the connection where it’s not only totally fine to first invite them for the whole day and THEN cancel it down to an evening invite, and on top of that you get called entitled for objecting. Here’s a thought - host a wedding, test 20 different partners of friends by sending a full day invite then withdrawing it for an evening one, and see how entitled they all are when they dare be pissed off at you. I’d expect quite.

Brilliant 😂😂😂🙌🙌🙌🙌. We are actually very close (us and the pride's father) and I have since calmed down. Neither man in question did it on purpose, they just don't think. Now, I have another wedding tomorrow, this time I'm the maid of honour. Weddings tend to bring out the worst in people. That's why I probably won't bother getting married again.

I’m surprised that some posters don’t see how utterly graceless it was to invite just two people as evening-only guests and then to top it all off by saying one of the two can come for the day, but the other guest is still-evening only.

It would have been far politer not to invite either of them than to mess them around like this.

Not even to your fiancé? Next year? In Hawaii or anywhere else?

What's the point of your engagement to him then?

Exactly! So rude

You're pretty unpleasant wishing that on his daughter and getting disgruntled like this over an invite to a couple you don't even know. Think a bit of growing up is in order.

I am more aghast at the op being gleeful of prospect of the couple divorcing, just because of this. How strange.

Definitely no reason to be mad at your partner. And not much reason to be mad at anyone else really. Mildly annoyed maybe.

Good question. We are happy just the way we are. Maybe we'll tie the knot at some point but there's no hurry.

So did your fiancé initially accept the daytime invite with you only coming to the evening? And then go back to both of you going to the evening after you grumbled at him? If he did I can see why you were annoyed at him. And it was pretty crap of the bride’s family to only invite him to the day when they had initially invited you both then bumped you back to evening only. They come across as totally thoughtless. And a lot of people on this thread come across as a bit nasty.

Good grief, imagine getting so very upset as you don’t get a whole day invite. Do you need to do eveyrghing with your partner ? How very odd.

Are you? Happy people don't resent other people's weddings. Nor do they attend weddings, gleefully hoping the marriage fails.

How long have you been engaged @Anna1mac ?

I don’t think they “found “ a place for your partner. Someone dropped out and they had a space and a paid for meal going begging. Most people come in twos but the old friend thought @Anna1mac s fiance is an old friend who I would love to see at the wedding and @Anna1mac will probably be bored stiff with a load of people she doesn’t know so let’s give him the chance for a catch up and she can come along to the evening do as arranged.

I had this happen, only we were at the (main) reception when they told us. 😁

ExH had the invite, so the mistake was on him.

We were only invited to the evening it turned out.

We didn't go. ExH was too miffed / embarrassed.

Oh no 🙈

He did accept the full day invite initially yes. But he phoned the father of the bride later to let them know he could only make it in the evening

Also, when we went in the evening we discovered we were the only evening guests. They had only planned a full day wedding, and not a separate evening guest list. So yes, I would like to think most people who have been pretty nasty on this thread would actually have minded very much if it happened to them.

Not at all. Did you actually read what happened? Here's a recap for you slower ones. Invite received a year ago was for the full day, for both of us. About week or so before the wedding we were told it's evening only (which was absolutely fine with us). Then two days before the wedding my partner was told he can come for the whole day which he initially accepted but later decided against. We only went for the evening and it turned out we were the only evening invitees.