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Original poster

Raising vegan DC with meat eating DH

121 replies

MissBax · 08/12/2017 16:40

I'm just wondering how people found raising children vegan if other parent is a meat eater? When teaching them to respect animals and not eat them did they ever ask why daddy/mummy eats meat? How did you answer this or justify it?! Thanks :)

OP posts:
Ylvamoon · 08/12/2017 16:45

Be open minded and let your child make the to and go with the flow.
There is no right or wrong when it comes to food, just personal preference.
(We are all meat eaters except for DD (13). She is a vegetarian and been so for many years and I can't see her changing in the near future.)

Original poster
MissBax · 09/12/2017 08:50

Thanks Ylva - I was hoping for a vegan perspective (no offence), as I want to teach DC about the sentience of animals and to treat them with respect ie - we don't kill them / pay someone else to kill them for food.
Obviously when they're old enough to cook for themselves or go out and buy their own food then they can make their own decisions. But I was just wondering how other vegan parents have answered questions about 2nd parent eating meat :)

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 09/12/2017 08:52

Couldn’t their meat-eating parent explain it to them?

TittyGolightly · 09/12/2017 08:54

I don’t think you can when the 2 role models are effectively doing the opposite thing.

I’m veggie, DH isn’t. Our approach is that DD should have the opportunity to try everything and not eat anything she dislikes. There’s not much meat she does enjoy, as it happens, but I don’t see it as my choice to make.

Does not eating meat as children mean they will/may struggle to digest it if they decide to eat it later?

I only buy meat I know the provenance of.

But I don’t think you can have one parent saying “animals are sentient, it’s evil to breed and kill them” whilst the other parent tucks into them. You’re indirectly calling their father evil.

Original poster
MissBax · 09/12/2017 08:58

Does not eating meat as children mean they will/may struggle to digest it if they decide to eat it later?

I don't think so - I was raised veggie until I was about 12, then ate meat throughout my teens and twenties before coming vegan.

Couldn’t their meat-eating parent explain it to them?

Yes, I suppose he could :)

OP posts:
Bobbinsandthread · 09/12/2017 08:59

I have several vegan friends- one has an allergic shock if exposed to dairy now. Most get very ill if exposed to meat.
You are possibly making a lifelong choice for her. I assume you chose to be a vegan, you might be taking that choice away from her
Most veggie friends raised their kids eating everything and then they have chosen to follow them. I think choice is important.

Original poster
MissBax · 09/12/2017 08:59

becoming vegan!

OP posts:
Rainybohoho · 09/12/2017 09:00

I’m curious, were you vegan when you got with your meat eating DH?

I agree with Titty, you need to take a middle line unless you want to demonise your DH.

Original poster
MissBax · 09/12/2017 09:03

one has an allergic shock if exposed to dairy - sorry, are you saying they were always allergic to dairy, or they've developed an allergy by not eating dairy?! Hmm because the latter is not possible.

You are possibly making a lifelong choice for her.
Just like I would be if I exposed DC to meat and dairy too? With the added risks of diabetes, hypertension, cancer and heart disease.

With all due respect, I don't want to debate veganism, which is why I posted in the vegan forum.

OP posts:
Original poster
MissBax · 09/12/2017 09:04

I’m curious, were you vegan when you got with your meat eating DH?

Why?

OP posts:
scottishdiem · 09/12/2017 09:06

Depends on their age but definately look at the arguments and debates from both sides and explain to them and let them decide I would say.

Bobbinsandthread · 09/12/2017 09:07

Nope - she has been vegan for 20 years. Her throat closes up if exposed to dairy (and it's not just when she knows).

mustbemad17 · 09/12/2017 09:08

I think you're going to find it tough tbh. You're effectively telling your DC that they should respect all sentiant beings & not kill them for our requirements...whilst they will be sitting & watching their dad eat whatever animal he has chosen that day. You are almost going down the path of alienation against him, because of his decision to eat meat.

Can you not instead just offer them both sides so that they can make their own choices? Obviously depends how old they are, but I think you run a real risk of making dad out to be some evil animal murderer. It's definitely much easier when both parents are on the same page.

Original poster
MissBax · 09/12/2017 09:08

Bobbinsandthread
So she's developed anaphylaxic shock from not eating dairy? Is that what you're saying?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 09/12/2017 09:09

I’d go down the route of mum thinks this so she doesn’t eat any animal products/wear leather etc, Dad thinks differently so he does...you eat whatever’s been cooked for you and you’ll decide for yourselves when you’re old enough to express a preference. I’m veggie and my husband eats meat. We pretty much always eat veggie at home though.

Rainybohoho · 09/12/2017 09:10

I’m just wondering if you weren’t and you are meat at the time, how you cope with the difference in core values. Mainly because I think it feed directly into how you go forward with this issue.

Does he agree that your DC should be brought up vegan?

Original poster
MissBax · 09/12/2017 09:10

mustbemad17 - yes, I suppose you're right. I can only give them my reasons for not eating animals products, and then DH can give his reasons for eating them.

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 09/12/2017 09:11

Just like I would be if I exposed DC to meat and dairy too? With the added risks of diabetes, hypertension, cancer and heart disease.

Those risks exist with them eating cereals, fruit and starchy vegetables.

And yes, you may be making a decision that means they never have full choice over what they eat. Letting them eat everything now gives them the option to exclude foods.

Bobbinsandthread · 09/12/2017 09:11

I worked with her and that's what she told me. She was in hospital once and made a complaint to a cafe about dairy being in soup when they said it wasn't

Taylor22 · 09/12/2017 09:13

or they've developed an allergy by not eating dairy?!  because the latter is not possible.

Actually it's very possible. Both my children have CMPA. I have had to go dairy free as I BF.
I'm on a number of support groups and a number of mothers have now developed CMPA as a result of avoiding it for a period of time.
I've only been DF for 18 months and I've been told that I need to try reintroduction slowly to avoid a possible reaction.

PurpleDaisies · 09/12/2017 09:13

I worked with her and that's what she told me. She was in hospital once and made a complaint to a cafe about dairy being in soup when they said it wasn't

I think she was probably being a bit dramatic-you can’t develop an anaphylactic dairy allergy by not eating it.

TittyGolightly · 09/12/2017 09:14

Anyone else getting adverts for welsh pork at the bottom of this thread?! 😬

Original poster
MissBax · 09/12/2017 09:14

I’m veggie and my husband eats meat. We pretty much always eat veggie at home though. - Yeah we basically eat vegan at home, it's more DH's McDonald's trips and things. But then I suppose the same question could be asked for parents who's DP's eat junk food/smoke cigarettes etc - how do you try and teach DC that xyz is bad for them if one parent is doing it?

Does he agree that your DC should be brought up vegan? - he would like them to be raised veggie, which actually I'd be okay with. So maybe it's for him to decide how to answer any meat eating questions rather than me?

OP posts:
flumpybear · 09/12/2017 09:16

Sounds like you're saying being non-vegan is bad for you?!HmmConfused

Taylor22 · 09/12/2017 09:17

I'd go with what I've seen practised in multi religion house holds.

Mummy believes XYZ
Daddy believes ABC

You are free to do and believe what you decide. You are free to ask us any questions and try anything you want with no judgment.