Raising vegan DC with meat eating DH

[MissBax]

I'm just wondering how people found raising children vegan if other parent is a meat eater? When teaching them to respect animals and not eat them did they ever ask why daddy/mummy eats meat? How did you answer this or justify it?! Thanks :)

Interesting @taylor22!

Ffs, bloody vegans and their holier than thou attitude. Stop forcing tour ridiculous choices on your poor child. I feel sorry for your dh

I think if you’re both on the same page with your DC being brought up being veggie, then you answer the questions about being a vegan and he answers the ones about being a meat eater.

I actually think it sounds like a lovely way to show DC that different people can have different perspectives, that it doesn’t mean you always have to agree with everyone around you to get on, and that they need to discover what they think.

Both my children have CMPA - to be fair most people are intolerant (not allergic) to cows milk. It's just that they've suffered the side effects for such a long time they don't realise (acne, eczema, psoriasis, ibs, diarrhoea, sinusitis, migraines etc). It's likely that once they cut dairy out, if they introduce it again they recognise the effects. As PP said you cannot develop an allergy simply by eliminating a food.

Yes, it's for him to answer questions about why he thinks meat eating is acceptable. But if you have a situation where he eats meat but they're not allowed to it may start feeling unfair to them as they get older. Fine to have a meat-free house but maybe allow them some latitude (if they ask for it) on eating meat outside the house?

ffs, bloody vegans and their holier than thou attitude. Stop forcing tour ridiculous choices on your poor child. I feel sorry for your dh

Goady much??

I’m sure her DH is a sentient human being capable of making his own choices, it doesn’t sound like anyone is being forced to do anything, and you sound like a militant meat eater!

Well my children have CMPA. Plenty of fun Drs trips to confirm it.

And again. Yes you can. It has happened to people I know. And when they've gone to their Dr very very confused and upset because their holy grail pizza turned on them they've confirmed that they now have the allergy.

to be fair most people are intolerant (not allergic) to cows milk.

Really?

We're wondering about this - DH is veggie, not vegan, but he is also allergic to dairy and I'm lactose intolerant. I eat meat, but we keep a vegetarian home by agreement, which is mostly vegan, and we've agreed it will be our children's choice- their grandparents will feed them meat, and I will on occasion.

I don't know about a dairy allergy but I can 100% guarantee your children will be lactose intolerant if you don't feed them dairy before their teenagers, and as someone who became lactose intolerant through illness I think it's an awful choice to make for someone else.

I actually know three people raised by vegetarians, all eat meat now. No matter what you do or say, they will make their own mind up. However, if you take away their ability to process/digest, they may be v angry with you. I think letting their father cook them meat, or at least dairy, on occasion, and explaining to them why you don't eat it, is the most likely way to influence them anyway. Assuming you aren't planning on raising them to think their father is deeply immoral, they'll know it's a choice. They're much more likely to respond if it's a real one for them.

Stop forcing tour ridiculous choices on your poor child.

Erm, I'm posting on the vegan board. So very odd you'd come on with such hostility. But seeing as you're now here and clearly looking for an argument - where am I displaying "holier than thou" syndrome??
Aren't you, by raising your DC to eat meat, forcing ridiculous choices on them?? How is not eating meat/dairy a "ridiculous choice" but eating animal flesh a totally sane and normal choice?

People are being ridiculously judgemental about the OP and the other posters on a specific /dedicated vegan forum! Obviously most people who chose to be vegan do so for moral reasons within themselves and if course want to pass this down to their children just lie meat eaters think it's okay to feed their children meat.

Just to correct that last point- I was in no way intolerant to dairy. I still have lactose free dairy products, and I've done elimination- I don't feel or look in any way better without them, I just no longer produce the lactase enzyme, which is common after certain illnesses if you travel to the right part of the world, and common if you never consume it until adulthood. So- it is a choice you're taking away, and you might be happy to take that choice away.

I strongly support people's right to raise their children vegetarian, but I think veganism is making a permanent irreversible choice. It is almost impossible your child won't try meat and dairy: if you enable them to explore that, make it clear it's not big deal, then they're more likely to end up at the outcome you want.

Thank-you Terri - evidently the snow has brought out the cold in some people

How old is your child OP? I'm vegan but I've only been vegan for a year. DH eats anything meat. DS eats animal products at nursery and a mix of vegan and non-vegan meals at home. He likes meat, cheese etc. and I don't want to tell him he can't have those things when DH is eating them in front of him anyway. I'm hoping he'll grow up enjoying the vegan food I make as well as other meals and he can make his own decision when he's older. The main is I don't want food to be an issue ever.

Can children be vegan? No eggs, protein, etc

Genuine question as i thought it wasn't suitable for children.

I admire someone who has values that they live by. Hats off to you.

With that in mind, I couldn't live with an animal eater if I was vegan.

I think you have a losing battle on your hands. If you can respect an animal eater enough to have formed a relationship with them, if you can respect their choice to eat meat, then it's difficult to find any justification for encouraging your DC to be vegan. All things being equal, all points of view valid enough to live with an animal eater, then you lose any moral argument useful to encouraging veganism.

I am trying to become veggie atm & then vegan down the line. My partner (father of DC) is a big meat-lover! I don't have much advice tbh as I'm just starting out... But I'm still going to be raising DD with meat in her diet. She can decide to follow in mine or her father's footsteps later down the line imo.

Can children be vegan? No eggs, protein, etc

I think you're confusing yourself. No animal products doesn't mean no protein :)

Thanks for all the genuine replies. I think you're right - DC will have to make their own decisions re food. As I cook -all- most the meals at home then they will be mainly plant based by default. If they ask to try meat etc when DH has it then I can't stop them.
I don't want to be one of those militant vegan parents who doesn't let their children have birthday cake and cheese rolls at friends parties or anything!

This is really interesting. I’m veggie, DH eats meat but we mostly have a veggie house. He’s happy in principle for any DC to be brought up veggie eg we wouldn’t feed them meat at home as he barely eats any meat at home now, entirely his choice.

I know a lot of families where the Mum is a veggie and the Dad isn’t and in every single one the DC are being brought up to eat meat. Which means the Mum, who may never have bought or prepared meat before now does so. I can’t understand it. I’m all for DC having choices but for a long time when they’re little the choices you give them are in your control and I don’t see why if you’re vegetarian yourself when seeing it they like spag bol you’d give them meat rather than a veggie version, or sandwiches, why you’d give them ham instead of cheese.

Certainly thought provoking.

Exactly. It's all about belief.
You believe in the sentiments of animals and not paying people to kill them.
Your husband doesn't.

Your children should be free to make their same individual choice when able to do so.

I think you need to be very careful here if two adults are following different diets as you will make it confusing for children or teach them that double standards are acceptable.
Either ask your DH to quit the meat/dairy in their presence until they are older to understand the issues or let them have some dairy/meat occasionally when he does.
We follow an unusual diet and although I sometimes 'cheat' I won't do that in front of the little ones until they are much older and we can discuss and debate concepts like free will and choice. Gut feeling is that will be towards end of primary school...

It’s what you do before they get to choose, when you’re starting them on food and preparing most or all of the meals yourself that’s interesting.

I have friends in a similar situation.
the dc eat a mixed diet.
dad cooks meat dishes twice a week and eats together with dc and mum cook vegan the rest of the time.
works well for them, dc can decide when older what they want.

My mum is a vegetarian and has been my whole life. She prepared and served us meat since we were born. I've asked her about it and she says that she wanted us to eat meat and then make a decision.
My sister became Veggie at 20 but I still eat meat. She now prepares and serves meat to my children.

So you can stand by the principles for yourself but also accept others choices.