The Thirty-Sixth Republic - New Year approaching, no clear idea of what is happening next week and has Gav been sacked yet?

[SantaAssociationRepresentitve]

You are most welcome to this school staff support thread to get us through stressful times. It is meant for school staff only – a sort of room of requirement. Baiters, haters, goaders, and bashers can jog on somewhere else.

If you are NOT staff and just have a general education query please start your own thread.

You can play here if you are a member of one the following groups-

-ABBA - anti bashers and baiting association
-SWAB - school workers against bashers
-SWOT - school workers opposing teacherbashers
-STARS - schoolworkers together against ranting + slurs

Do not give the staffroom password just in case it attracts the wrong sort

Other requirements for staff room entry include the ability to find the staff room, the ability to find a clean mug in the staff room, knowledge of the photocopier codes, and the ability to sniff out where the booze is stashed - Thirsty Tuesdays, Fizz Fridays now in operation.

If you come with a stick to goad us then that is not allowed in the staffroom and you will receive a detention

@noblegiraffe

Or even worse: Shag marry kill:

Boris, Gove, Gav?

This is like scissors, paper, stone where you can use the same option repeatedly, surely???

Ooh Smile...I work a couple of miles from the Scarborough cliffs so I could help you out there!

@SmileEachDay

but I would need him not to speak

Ohhh but he would. He’d want you stroke his hair and kiss.

So wrong!!

We were watching the Channel 4 thing last night about programs of the 2000s and in the bit about Jamie Oliver’s turkey twizzlers, there was a clip of the education secretary-Charles Clarke?!

I said to DH that I don’t remember him at all?! I started teaching under Blunkett (or maybe Gillian Shepherd?) and don’t think I’ve hated any of them as much as Gove. In fact, looking them up-I don’t actually remember half of them!!

Gav will go down in history as being the most ‘absent in a crisis’ on prize day, though.

Excellent Gravity

If the police ask, we were at your kitchen table planning lessons.

!

Secondary school pupils will not return to their classrooms in the week beginning 4 January, with most expected to have an extended holiday.

Oh aye a holiday!

Wankcock in parliament in a mo...

@RuleWithAWoodenFoot

Ha, just saw this on Twitter. This might be a thing:

‘Schools in Tier 4 regions will be able to decide whether to open or whether to move to remote learning, in consultation with their communities.’

No head will want to be the only one in their town / region that closes. It will be an 'I'm harder than you' competition:

• 'My school is still open even though we've had 56 cases'
• 'I'm better than you because we are still open even though we have had 56 cases and half the teachers are off'
• 'I'm better than you because we have had 56 cases but i have not allowed any of the teachers to get tests in case they might have to be off'
• 'I'm better than you because we are still open even though 4 of our staff are in ICU'
• 'I'm better than you because my school is still open as we are not sending anyone home even if they test positive, so all of our pupils ad staff are here, even though 56 are ill and one member of staff has died'

Give me strength. There’s a group of people on the bus blaming China for the virus and the situation we’re in. From different households, sat close together and wearing their masks under their chin.

Shag: Gav
Marry: Boris, he’ll spend all his time out shagging someone else.
Kill: Gove, as smile says.

He's got a whip though.

My head is not a nob though. I totally trust her to make the right choice. The one who was acting head last term, she'd be different - while being at home sheilding from the shitstorm.

I've just made an accidental 'move files' fuck up mouse click thingy, and moved our entire phase planning 'somewhere'... can't fucking find it on the T drive. And now obviously the VPN is like treacle. FUUUUUUUCK.

@cantkeepawayforever I agree.

He's got a whip though

😂😂😂

Jeez. Yep. All of the above.

No one really cares about how we're legally supposed to deliver media/film/drama/English/music without breaking copyright laws, have they?

@noblegiraffe

Or even worse: Shag marry kill:

Boris, Gove, Gav?

Reaching for the brain bleach now...

Can I place bets on this thread lasting less than 24 hours till completion?!

Is it definitely on the T drive? You haven’t managed to move it onto a different drive completely?

Well both my working area and where I live are deep purple on that gov map...

@RuleWithAWoodenFoot

He's got a whip though.

🤣

Hancock "British... British... British "

Boris seems super-fertile so you wouldn’t want to risk shagging him. Plus if you marry him then you get his money on divorce?

Shag Gav
Marry Boris (on the assumption of no shagging, no pre-nup)
Kill Gove

We are probably going into Tier 4. If the decision on my health and safety is left up to the school Governing Body then I am going off sick with stress. I am not putting up with my liberty being restricted and being expected to work at close quarters with 30+ people in a classroom. I’m just not.

Boris seems super-fertile so you wouldn’t want to risk shagging him

I’d be in full hazmat.

(Sorry for Whiny Teenager voice)

🤮