Things you know they'll say (and things you wish they'd say) in the WillKat wedding commentary

[GeraldineMumsnet]

If you're planning a marathon royal-wedding-watching TV sesh, with tea/biscuits/gin [delete as nec] to fortify you, we'd like your predictions about what the commentators will definitely say and what they almost certainly won't (unless they've been on the gin, too).

TIA and a slice of wedding cake to all contributors.

And there's Prince Charles admiring Kate's breasts dress.

At this quiet moment in the ceremony lets take some bets on how long this one will last, I'll give it 2 kids & 10 years.

There will be a 1001 comparisons to Diana...

"Oh what a triumph" in relation to dress.

They will have some token woman on there stating the bleeding obvious wrt fashion...checking her notes for the designers and helpfully saying things like:

Sophie there in a turquoise chemise with gold detail.....Michelle Obamam has chosen a red suit today....

Yes...i can see that....for i have eyes

Obama

"And now here's Kate, arriving in a very chic white Fiat Uno..."

There will be an interview with a 86 year old woman who has slept on the pavement for three nights with only an umbrella and a flask for company - she will have a royal wedding teatowel tied to the railings in front of her....

"Wonder which one of Kate's mates Harry will be rogering tonight?

I really want there to be a hilarious mix-up on The Mall between the wedding party and the man doing the London Marathon in a Brian the Snail costume.

I hope somebody stands up and objects at the appropriate part of the ceremony... " He was hand-fast to me in 1997 during rag week at St Randys, leave her, you're mine foreeeevvva my pagan love-god" (or similar)... would suit me nicely.

And the bride's pink dress, with easy access velcro opening, weighs more than half her body weight and decorated with over 5000 swarovski crystals

"Why did no one tell Camilla that her skirt is tucked into her knickers?"

Now it would be worth watching to hear that!

At Center Parcs on THE day so not sure what will be going on there

champagne oooh lovely, but with fairy lights too, surely?

Hope Kate and Wills have had the decency to organise a thriller-stylee "spontaneous" dance during the ceremony. Including Chuck and Camilla. And the Queen. And then post it on You Tube.

...and the doors to Westminster Abbey are set to manual

katiescarlett like this???

Yes, Yes, Yes!!!!!

I think I have died and gone to royal wedding heaven!!!

Brilliant.

Lots of references to the lack of American representation at the ceremony . Definitely.

Oh and Katie's "normal" background.

Won't mention Wills' unfortunately ever increasing in size bald spot...

I expect they will call Kate "a commoner" a lot.

Champagne that's brilliant

I ADORE the video. Great lookylikeys! Wow.

" and that may be the first streaker we've seen at a Royal Wedding, and from the groom's family too."

Michelle Obama isn't going.

I knew that FAB ... but i couldn't think of anyone else to put on the spur of the moment....