Things you know they'll say (and things you wish they'd say) in the WillKat wedding commentary

[GeraldineMumsnet]

If you're planning a marathon royal-wedding-watching TV sesh, with tea/biscuits/gin [delete as nec] to fortify you, we'd like your predictions about what the commentators will definitely say and what they almost certainly won't (unless they've been on the gin, too).

TIA and a slice of wedding cake to all contributors.

Is that Fergie we see there in the crowd, trying to push her way through for a glimpse of the happy couple?

"As the Royal Family gather on the balcony at Buckingham Palace, the question on everyone's lips is 'Will there be a Kiss?' - and yes, we have some lip-action occurring........ Prince William doesn't appear to be happy, though, as Harry shares a historic clinch with his new sister-in-law!!"

put money on: 'she went into the church a commoner, and came out a Princess...'

Oh dear- Prince Philip has just asked Kate why she has never had a full-time job.

'...Has Prince Philip got wind again?'

And at the reception they have splashed out beyond all comprehension with Shiphams beef paste sandwiches, a cheese and pineapple hedgehog, a trifle with hundreds and thousands on it and little fairy cakes with those tiny silver balls on them.

Is Harry the best man then?

How come he gets to be Prince Harry, not Henry, while Kate is becoming Catherine?

Harry won't become King though will he? Catherine will most likely become Queen and Queen Kate is a bit isn't it?
I guess if Harry did somehow become King, he'd be King Henry whatever number we'd be up to now, but would still be Harry to his chums

And we welcome the new HRH Princess William of Wales (then said in hushed tones) poor cow, why didn't he man up and accept a Dukedom? Oh shit is that mic still on..

It's something very posh people do isn't it? Give their kids names and then say "oooh but we're going to call him that". I remember them going on that there couldn't possibly be a Queen Diana and she'd probably have to opt for the Frances middle bit.
I might start....this is dd, her names Chantelle, but we call her Chardonnay

Ohhh Bucharest - I am all disappointed now - I thought Chantelle Chardonnay Bucharest sounded so clarrsy!!

But I would have spelled them Chan-Tel and Shar-Donnay (after my favouritest classiest cazzzzh clothes shop dontcha know)

Yes - that does sound far posher.

And now we see the New People's Princess emerging from the abby!

A prince and princess for the modern age

a modern couple

People's princess

I know - we should have a mumsnet bingo game - where points are awarded for cliched comments - the winer could get a slice of biscuit cake!

I think I shall host a Royal Wedding Drinking Game Day based on the suggestions on this thread.

I suppose I ought to supply gin for the above based on the QM but I can't bear gin so it'll have to be vodka.

I am imagining Hugh Dennis commentating all these quotes (a la Mock the Week style), and I am actually lol.

The ds are asking what is so funny

"And there is the groom, sporting a toupe from Elton John's collection"

I wholeheartedly second the idea of a real-time MN drinking/biscuit-scoffing game based on predictable utterances. Only from the Beeb, obviously, have to have a sense of occasion and all that.

keeping it in the family-she's his distant cousin and only 5 fingers on each hand.how priddy

Here arrives Miss Middleton, on the arms of her VERY PROUD father... (you would though, wouldn't ya?)

And isn't Will a lucky young man to have found such a catch... (think he should count his blessings that he didn't have to marry Countess von Fusseringberg von Gluewein from outer-Bavaria...)

kates mum going kerching at bagging a prince!

And the Bride's fetching dress which is from George @ Asda...