Old dog unwell and incontinent and we are due to go on holiday soon.

[LabsAreTheBest]

I have an old labrador who is not well. He has a slow growing cancer and a bit of arthritis. The trouble is he is now starting to wee and poo indoors. He is well in himself and still enjoys his food (well, he's a lab) and a slow and short walk daily. He is still happy but he sleeps most of the time. The pooing and weeing is happening almost every day now - it is mostly at night when he can't get out. When he was younger if he ever needed to wee / poo he would bark at night and he would only ever need to go once in a blue moon. Now he doesn't bark and he's soiling in the kitchen most nights. I have no utility room or anywhere else I can put him. I am putting puppy pads out every night now.

We am going away at the end of the month and he was going to stay with a friend of mine for the week - he's stayed there before and he loves it there. The thing is now he is often weeing and pooing in the house I think this is too big an ask of my friend.

What other options are there for me. I suggested a house / pet sitter to my OH but he is adamant he doesn't want anyone staying at our house. I am wondering if maybe it might be time for the end but I do feel it's too early and that I'm just doing it out of convenience almost.

This….PTS should never be for convenience

@Mirrorxxx You sound over attached and I would not have invited you to a wedding. I would have assumed you would not come.

It's a big ask for a friend to look after an elderly and unwell dog, let alone an incontinent one. I've got a 13 year old cocker who is aging rapidly and there's no way I'd leave him at this age, he'd get too distressed.

I don't really see that you have a choice here, tbh. Stuff MIL, your dog matters more surely.

I don't think you should see it as doing anything for your convenience. Your dog is old and incontinent. He will likely be quite stressed with you going away. He won't miraculously get less old or suddenly be better. He will likely deteriorate further while you are away.

You also can't leave a dog that shits in the house with someone else. Their house will stink.

Time to think about your poor dog. Remember it can’t tell you it’s in pain but has cancer and arthritis, can no longer control bladder and bowels for extended length of time and you want the poor thing to continue to suffer. We made the difficult decision just a couple of months ago when our beloved old dog wasn’t eating or drinking to let her go. Stop prolonging the agony and do what is right for your lovely old lab.

Put the poor dog to sleep. Would you honestly want to be trapped in a world with people that don’t speak your language and have to crap and pee in the corner ?

I understand your reluctance.

Please get him pts whilst he still has some quality of life. Not when he's immobile totally. I've learnt by that mistake.

Or you stay home?

Christ, some of these responses! He is your dog op, you know him best. If he still has quality of life and you don’t think it’s time, it isn’t. He will tell you when it is.
Personally, I’d send DH alone and stay at home with my boy.

Why does your husband get to decide whether you have a house sitter or not? Tell him you need a sitter or you can’t go.

Honestly if he is regularly soiling the house I think it is time. He’s not well and isn’t going to get better.

Can’t a remember of your family stay at yours and look after him, obvs then it’s not a stranger in your house and someone you can trust, plus surely they love your dog too and would understand how important it is for you for him to be well
looked after

No way I'd be going on holiday at the end of my cat's life. She was with me for 21 years.

Sorry OP it’s really hard when this happens. A previous old dog of mine started pooing in her sleep or as she got up to walk around. I don’t think it bothered her or she realised, but it was actually very easy to manage, easier I would say than weeing everywhere. However she was content, she just slept a lot and pottered about and had short slow walks, as an old dog will. You will know when the time is right to say goodbye and whenever that is I don’t think you should regard it as for your convenience, you’ll just know as you know your dog. Best wishes whatever you decide x

You should have him put down. When my boy was given a cancer diagnosis I had him put to sleep a few days later. Why prolong suffering?

If it is any help OP, you can pay to have a vet put him down at your house so it’s nicer for him.

Talk to the vet about your dog's quality of life and prognosis. Make a decision based on that.

One of my cats reached that stage. She was doubly incontinent and had a tumour, plus she was very confused. She forgot how to use the cat flap, for example.

We had her euthanised. it was heartbreaking but it was what was best for her. For whose benefit would it have been to keep her alive in that situation? Not hers.

I wish people would stop saying that owners know when it is the right time. They are often the very last people to 'know'. Spend a few hours in your local park, walk round your neighbourhood, take a look at the dogs being dragged out on a walk, you'll almost certainly see one or two that are suffering, their owners totally - sometimes wilfully - totally oblivious.

He must be distressed to have lost control of his bladder and bowel. On top of everything else - please do the kindest thing

Better a week too early than a day too late - he must be in so much pain from cancer

This

This in spades. Fuck her

DH has to either accept the sitter, or accept that you won’t be travelling.

Only you know if his quality of life is so poor that now us the time. It sounds like you don’t think it is so I can’t see any solution other than you stay with him. Things may change before the month is out so maybe don’t tell MIL until it’s necessary. Your DH can go (it’s his family after all) and you won’t regret the time spent with your dog who certainly loves your more than your MIL!

Sorry you’re dealing with this, it’s really rough.

Op is giving this a lot of thought, she has looked at quality of life standards, she’s questioning the right thing to do for her boy. She is very clearly NOT “totally or wilfully oblivious”.
And I stand by the fact that no one knows my dogs like I do. I know when it’s time, because they tell me. I agree fully with better a day too early than a day too late, but I wouldn’t do it for the convenience of a holiday if I didn’t think it was time and op clearly doesn’t.

Agree to an extent, but OP certainly knows better than anyone else on the thread.

An old incontinent dog with cancer and arthritis who is mostly sleeping - I would PTS.

However if you want to wait, you need to either stay home with your dog yourself or arrange someone else to stay home with them.

Those are the only reasonable options.