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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

AIBU to not want dogs home after baby has arrived?

100 replies

Bex134 · 11/03/2017 02:59

We have 2 dogs who have stayed with family since our I'm son was born. He's now 8 weeks and the dogs are back since yesterday. So far this has gone well- far better than I imagined but I really don't want them here. Im happy for the dogs to be in the room when I'm feeding or cuddling baby but not when he's on his playmat. I feel like there are two separate worlds at home - dogs and baby and can't imagine dealing with this on my own when Hubble is away at work.

Do you think I'm overreacting at this point? Hubble is not happy when I've spoken to him about how I feel...

OP posts:
FreeNiki · 11/03/2017 03:05

Who is Hubble?

PiratePointyTits · 11/03/2017 03:09

Hubble is a space telescope thingo.

Anyway, as you were.

Jaagojaago · 11/03/2017 03:31

The dogs don't want you in their home - are they ring unreasonable?

Jaagojaago · 11/03/2017 03:31

Ring = bring.

Jaagojaago · 11/03/2017 03:32

Ffs. BEING.

Original poster
Bex134 · 11/03/2017 03:33

Auto correct- hubbie (husband)

OP posts:
FreeNiki · 11/03/2017 03:35

Ah I thought I wasnt getting something or not understanding an.acronym. it is 3am.

So your husband wont consider resettling the dogs?

Burntbum · 11/03/2017 03:38

You definitely shouldn't leave the dogs in the room with your baby on the floor or if you're not there. You just need to invest in some stairgates. Make sure that the dogs are in a separate room and only allowed to interact with your baby when you are there and that the interactions are very positive.

Original poster
Bex134 · 11/03/2017 03:39

He really doesn't want to resettle them no

OP posts:
Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 11/03/2017 03:42

How long have you had the dogs and did you and hubby get them together? Doesn't sound like they've done anything wrong other than become an inconvenience to you now. What was that about a pet is for life again?

Original poster
Bex134 · 11/03/2017 03:45

We've had the dogs for 8 years and yes got them together. The dogs aren't inconvenient I just don't like the separation that's needed, I don't think it's Fair for the dogs to be onlookers. There full of beans (jack Russell) so I wouldn't want them in the room when baby is on the floor and the stage baby is at they will spend a lot of time out of the room. We have gates at the door so they can see. For me it's about safety for the dogs and baby.

OP posts:
SharkBastard · 11/03/2017 03:48

Did anyone think about this situation before you got pregnant?

Original poster
Bex134 · 11/03/2017 03:50

I'm not looking for judgement about the situation- just sounding out some of my thoughts and concerns.

OP posts:
Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 11/03/2017 03:53

Lots of people have baby's and dogs and manage easily, yes it's hard work and supervision but if you love both it will be workable. But from your first post it sounds like you are looking for an excuse to kick the dogs out, not one positive or affectionate word after having them for 8 years? You as you said just don't want them there. Maybe it would be best to find them a caring home with people who want them :(

nooka · 11/03/2017 03:57

So rather than train your dogs to be OK behind a gate for a short amount of time every day (or put your baby on his/her playmat in a pen) you think it would be better for them to be given away/put to sleep?

And you aren't happy that your husband disagrees with you?

straighttalker · 11/03/2017 04:06

I don't think you can really expect non-judgemental responses based on your statement of the problem - dogs have not had difficulty adjusting, not causing you issues, etc.

You also don't sound very open to solutions to your worries i.e. separate dogs and baby while child on playmat.

Eight-ish year old dogs will not be easy to rehome and I don't think your husband should be forced to give up his family pets unless you have a very good reason.

Benefit of the doubt - you're postnatal and are perhaps having difficulty adjusting. I'm sure you don't really want to give away / end the life of pets you've looked after for the past eight years?

Diamondsmiles · 11/03/2017 04:17

Goodness, no wonder mn has a reputation for being judgemental and unhelpful. The op has an 8 week old baby and is concerned about juggling two dogs and a baby. She express her feelings on here and gets nothing but judgement even down to mocking for calling her dh hubble which is obvs a typo, rather than the one true acceptable acronym.

Ad for not thinking about this pre baby, none of us have a clue what it is actually like and how we will feel once we have a baby until it happens for real. Cut her some slack... she's 8 weeks post partum. I remember how precious and emotional I felt at that point.
And of course nowhere has the OP suggested putting the dogs to sleep so it's a bit mean to throw that accusation at her. All she has done is express hee concerns about managing the separation of dogs and baby. Let's face it, from this point on the baby will be spending lots of time on the floor until they're up on two feet.
And what's wrong with rehoming a couple of dogs if you're not comfortable about it? I can see why the op would think this would actually be better fr the dogs apart from anyone else.

ProfessionalPirate · 11/03/2017 04:25

You must expect a certain level of judgement when you post this kind of stuff on a public forum. Your OP reads so badly it's almost troll-worthy.

Loads of people have dogs and babies, and they make it work. You are very lucky in that it sounds like your dogs have adapted well to the change. But if you can't be bothered, nothing anyone says here will persuade you otherwise.

Poor dogs.

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 11/03/2017 04:32

Diamonds the statement "And what's wrong with rehoming a couple of dogs" actually made me sad.....a lot is wrong with that, those dogs think they are family, they didn't ask to be brought in for a set time period until they are no longer convenient

Like the OP said, the dogs have done nothing wrong, I hope hubby stands up for them :(

hahahaIdontgetit · 11/03/2017 04:40

Wow diamonds, you think it's easy to rehome two 8 year old Jack Russells? Chances are, if the op isn't willing to keep them they'll end up in a kennels for the rest of their lives or pts.

Unless of course the family that the dogs have been staying with are willing to keep them?

Op give it time and keep trying, I hope you and your DH can use baby gates etc to keep the dogs separate from the baby until he's passed the crawling stage.

ProfessionalPirate · 11/03/2017 04:43

Diamondsmiles

The OP hasn't merely expressed concern. Her words were "it has gone well...but I really don't want them here". There's not even a reason ffs

The OP may not have suggested PTS, but it is a realistic outcome of abandoning/rehoming two 8year old terriers. In any case, the trauma of being put into kennels isn't a much better alternative.

And what's wrong with rehoming a couple of dogs if you're not comfortable about it? I can see why the op would think this would actually be better fr the dogs apart from anyone else.
Words fail me. You obviously have no experience or understanding of this scenario.

FreeNiki · 11/03/2017 04:47

She express her feelings on here and gets nothing but judgement even down to mocking for calling her dh hubble which is obvs a typo, rather than the one true acceptable acronym.

That was me and i wasnt mocking her I genuinely thought Id missed something. I didnt tie it up with hubby.

I personally thought fair enough to want rid of the dogs now she has a baby.

But didn't say as I knew Id get shot down in flames. Oh well I said it now.

ProfessionalPirate · 11/03/2017 04:58

I personally thought fair enough to want rid of the dogs now she has a baby.

Seriously? I get that you (presumably/hopefully) are not a dog person, fair enough. But surely even a non-dog person has enough empathy for another living being to agree that if you make that commitment to get a dog, you do not then later shift that old dog out because it's become a slight inconvenience. Especially given that the outcome for the dog is likely to be either death or a life of misery in kennels. Anyone that can't make the full life-long commitment shouldn't be getting the dog in the first place.

LoveMyLittleSuperhero · 11/03/2017 05:04

I felt horrendously precious when I bought my daughter home late last year to my two dogs, if she's on her playmat they have to be out of the room, and it was stressful for a few weeks worrying about them and her. Saying that they have been good, as it sounds yours have, from day one and now some of my nicest memories with my DD are including them. She's only 20 weeks but they are both getting on a bit age wise and I honestly hope they will live long enough to give her a few happy years. or live forever, you know...
I'm only telling you this because I genuinely wondered when we first bought her home if I should rehome them so I understand were you are coming from, but I know it gets better.
Please don't rehome your two family members, remember they were there before your daughter, and they are excited to meet what they probably think of as their little sister! You make a commitment to them when you bought them home, yes in some circumstances it's necessary to end that commitment but I honestly don't think that this is one of those circumstances. Give them, and yourself, time one day to get used to it isn't long enough really.
Flowers congratulations on your arrival!

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/03/2017 05:16

I would definitely put the baby in a playpen. Not just to separate from the dogs but also because it's a good idea to get a little baby used to a play pen if you want to use one once they're mobile. I made the mistake of only getting one when it was actually needed and dd screamed the place down so it was useless. Whatever you decide, the dogs will have to adjust. I expect they sleep a fair chunk of the day and being older will be less excitable. Behind a gate is also fine. The dogs will settle to this routine after a few days. As pps have said, rehoming at that age wouldn't be an option.

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