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The doghouse

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Original poster

AIBU to not want dogs home after baby has arrived?

100 replies

Bex134 · 11/03/2017 02:59

We have 2 dogs who have stayed with family since our I'm son was born. He's now 8 weeks and the dogs are back since yesterday. So far this has gone well- far better than I imagined but I really don't want them here. Im happy for the dogs to be in the room when I'm feeding or cuddling baby but not when he's on his playmat. I feel like there are two separate worlds at home - dogs and baby and can't imagine dealing with this on my own when Hubble is away at work.

Do you think I'm overreacting at this point? Hubble is not happy when I've spoken to him about how I feel...

OP posts:
MudCity · 11/03/2017 07:21

Very glad OP is going to persevere. It will all work out fine.

Dogs are a commitment, the rehoming centres are full and struggling to cope...posters saying 'get rid' are just not being constructive (and some sound like deeply unpleasant individuals to be honest).

Phillpot12 · 11/03/2017 07:22

Could you put the playmat in a travel cot so that bubs is up off the floor sometimes so the dogs can then be unrestricted for a while.

MudCity · 11/03/2017 07:23

Brilliant Anne....dog trained toddler...everybody happy!

PossumInAPearTree · 11/03/2017 07:28

Have to say I do think as dog owners we have a responsibility to our dogs. We don't abandon them when they're no longer cute or as convenient as before. If it makes life a bit tougher we'll that's what you signed up for when you first got dogs. If you had a genuine concern about their behaviour that would be different. I wouldn't even abandon my guinea pigs never mind a dog, they would be heart broken.

Hopefully as they're older dogs they spend quite a bit of time snoozing. So getting them used to being in a separate room when needed should go well. Other possibility is a play pen for baby? You then know there's an area which is always clean and safe and it's great for toy storage!

ProfessionalPirate · 11/03/2017 07:28

yoda if you look back at the thread, there have been a small minority of posters urging the OP to get rid without a second thought, and stating that no justification is required. I assume these people must have at least a very strong dislike of dogs to display such a lack of compassion.

Annesmyth123 · 11/03/2017 07:29

I had a play pen but I know they're not popular nowadays (my youngest is 18)

herecomesthsun · 11/03/2017 07:32

I'm not a dog person (had cats when I was younger). I would have liked one when we moved to the countryside - but we were ttc. The needs and safety of a new baby would far out weigh any other considerations for us. If we had got pets, and there were any concerns about how we would manage with the baby, I would be seriously considering another humane solution, as kind as possible.

Just another perspective.

Allhallowseve · 11/03/2017 07:35

Sorry I found the Hubble thing slightly amusing ....
Anyway I have a dog ,toddler and four month old. Lucky for me dog tends to take himself upstairs in the day. I tend to pop him outside for a bit if we have visitors as he gets excited .I think it can work you just need to be on the ball with them.

neonrainbow · 11/03/2017 07:37

If you have any doubts at all about your dogs safety around children i don't think it's unreasonable to rehome. I felt differently until i had a child. If you have no reason to think the dogs won't cope then i think it's worth persevering. But a jack Russell would be very low on my list of dogs to have around a baby. The other day i looked after my mums super laid back dog for an afternoon and i was a nervous wreck until the dog settled but i couldnt relax unless i was holding the babies and the dog was in her bed. Can the family that had the dogs up till now have them back?

sotiredbutworthit · 11/03/2017 07:44

Our two Goldens are penned in the kitchen while our sons are up and about (it's quite big and they have open access to the garden) once they are in bed the dogs come out for a good old fuss and love!! They are happy and my sons and I take them to the doggy park to get some exercise and let the kids bond. There is space for all in your life. If your son is only 8 weeks old then it will take time to get the juggling act right!!!

NotYoda · 11/03/2017 07:46

Professional

I don't think so, necessarily. Just not people who put dogs first (or more likely, don't know dogs)

I don't think that makes them dog haters. But yes, maybe not as thoughtful about the realities of rehoming

I think we're basically agreeing

NotYoda · 11/03/2017 07:49

I have also just realised something

This is an AIBU but in The Doghouse section

People tend to be a bit more 'robust' in AIBU. someone should study it.

Original poster
Bex134 · 11/03/2017 08:08

New day, fresh start. So far so good. I think I just need to get on with it rather than overreacting to something that isn't an issue.

OP posts:
WaitrosePigeon · 11/03/2017 08:09

Please go easy on OP. She's just had a baby, she's recovering and adjusting. A first baby is a massive change.

Keep going OP. Once you've all settled in to your new family life it will all work out. Go easy on yourself and give that baby a squish from me Flowers

KoolKoala07 · 11/03/2017 08:11

Ah another case of new baby so consider getting rid of the dogs. Angry

NotYoda · 11/03/2017 08:13

Kool

I think you X posted with the OP

She is thinking about it. Getting advice.

IDefinitelyWould · 11/03/2017 08:19

Bex134 you're life has just changed massively. It is completely normal to have a few collywobbles. You need to settle into a routine which suits your family. You will be fine Smile

ProfessionalPirate · 11/03/2017 08:25

Perhaps, yoda, although I do think it shows an extraordinary lack of compassion.

It's an emotive subject, especially for those of us who work with the consequences of the many dogs that get abandoned when a new baby comes along.

NotYoda · 11/03/2017 08:32

Professional

I can certainly see it must be heartbreaking to work in your field. I take my hat off to you.

As I said, I don't have a dog. Actually for the very reason that to me it would be as serious as having another child. But then some people embark on having children as if it were nothing...

KoalaDownUnder · 11/03/2017 08:53

If you have any doubts at all about your dogs safety around children i don't think it's unreasonable to rehome.

If that is how you feel, fair enough.

However, anyone who feels that way should never get a dog, unless they are 100% sure they are not having children.

It's just not fair on the animals.

Blackfellpony · 11/03/2017 10:08

I can't really understand the problem as they dogs haven't done anything wrong Confused

I keep mine separate from the baby when he's is on the floor. Dogs in kitchen who lie down and go to sleep. It's not really a major deal unless I'm missing something?

happygardening · 11/03/2017 10:11

'Probably think of her as their little sister "
Err they don't because they're dogs not humans in fur suits.
OP I"m a dog owner and completely understand where your coming from. Can you try it for a couple of months get yourself a stair gate and see how you get on? It's inevitable that you're going to find it hard in the beginning but with time maybe you'll get used to the change.
Having said all of this if you feel it's not going to work I think you're right to rehome. A "dog is for life" is a great in theory but people's lives do change. Both my dogs have come from very reputable breeders and both told me that they are realists, people's lives change in all sorts of ways and sometimes dogs have to be rehomed both would rather that than the dogs or owners were unhappy so offered a non judgemental (unlike on here) no questions asked to take them back if necessary scheme fortunately we've never had to use it but one never knows.

ProfessionalPirate · 11/03/2017 10:32

happygardening I'm sorry but but with that attitude you are exactly the kind of person we are talking about that should never have taken on a dog. A dog is for life isn't a 'theory' ffs. Rehoming your dog is only justifiable in the most extreme and unpredictable of circumstances. And no, I do not consider having a baby to be a particularly unpredictable scenario for a couple of childbearing age.

Your breeders policy is good, and pretty standard. No one wants dogs being dumped or left at home not having their needs met. But really, wouldn't it be better if people that flakey didn't get a dog in the first place?

To be clear OP, I'm not aiming this at you, I know you are reconsidering.

ScrapThatThen · 11/03/2017 10:34

I am not a dog owner but I would be really anxious about a dog who is facing new restrictions becoming jealous of the baby. I imagine this adjustment for the dogs needs to be handled very carefully.

WheresTheEvidence · 11/03/2017 10:43

Just wondering what age gap you'll want with your children? You may find it easier to re home a toddler that you don't feel safe around your baby than an older child.

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