MAFS Australia Thread 7: Let’s rehash - Doing the deed has planted the narcissistic seed. The jam has stopped jamming. The Bad Bitch energy isn’t bitching and Air BnB are still waiting for Nipple Boy to pay his invoice (NO SPOILERS!).

[browneyes77]

Into the final days and it’s still a shit show!

I think there are two types of quiet men:

The ones who are comfortable with their quietness and don't mind having a partner who is outspoken, loud, smart and funny.

And the ones who are a bit insecure about not being louder. Perhaps they have been called shy when younger or made fun of. They don't want to be 'outshone' by their partner. They want a partner even quieter than them so they can feel in control of the partnership and won't be challenged too much.

I would put Jonno in the second category. And if he didn't feel much of a physical attraction to Lauren it was dead in the water before it really got started. I know they were intimate but we don't know how that came about or who initiated it. They may have got tipsy and Lauren imitated it and he was just feeling horny.

Anyone that is interested in spoilers or a quick watch it's all on tik tok and no adds
Anyone watching the new one that came on after is there a thread recorded it and will start next week.

Yeah, I thought Jono would be the dark horse of the series because he seemed so bland and lustless it would make good telly. I wasn't prepared for how he was at the dinner party, and the scales well and truly fell from my eyes. What a spineless nasty bastard. True colours shown at last - Lauren has always been my favourite because she's so funny, and my god she gave it to him in the final vows. I was cheering her on.

Can't make head nor tail of Tori and Jack. One minute I think they're doing it all for the fame, likes and money and have agreed to pretend to be together for that purpose, the next I think she actually does like him and I am bewildered as to how anyone actually could. I mean - the guy doesn't even have FRIENDS.

Think we need a gif of Jono flouncing off through the trees! What a petulant tosser!

Still catching up but what was with Lauren's wet look hair at the dinner party?

I can't really understand how or why she did it as her hair usually looks great.

I understand Jade has a child to consider but anything about what Ridge may need or what she offers him? I dunno about in Aus but you'd be lucky to find the right grade and specialism clinical job in another area, recruit, do all paperwork, find a place to live, serve notice etc and be in post within 3 months. Not saying not doable but it's all about his maturity when she doesn't seem to consider his real world at all.

Absolutely this. It goes back to the irresponsibility of the programme matching people who live so very far from each other, so that inevitably one of them is pressured to leave behind their family, friends and job, after knowing someone for less than 3 months - and in this case it could only ever be Ridge who had to be that person, as Jade was never going to uproot her child. Even last year, Oliie and Tahni, who seemed well matched in most respects, lived ridiculously far from each other so Ollie had to relocate, and now they've split up. It would be like matching someone from London with someone from Rome - how, realistically, can that be expected to work after such a short timeframe?

I wonder how long they'll drag out the Tori/Jack cliff hanger tonight.

It wouldn't surprise me if Jack's initial statement of "unfortunately we're not in love so how can I ask you to give everything to come and live with me" is followed up by "but I know how much I mean to you, so you if want to shack up with me you can. I'm not bothered either way, babe".

Then he'll produce a charm to add to her cheap bracelet and she'll fall into his arms.

There's bound to be a but.

Break up hair, like break up hair cut.

I suspect there's a story there and possibly some ex friends.

His original hair and teeth and dreadful earlier dodgy fashion attempts?

Perversity?
Extreme blinkeredness?
Bizarre bloody mindedness?

I can't go out tonight now as I've been on birthday duty all day with a headache.
The Upside being, get to see more final vows and everyone's lovely sarcasm and repartee....here we nearly go.

Jacks hair 🤢

Yes, bleurgh
Imagine it all strewn across a pillow.... gak

Tori: he's always there when I need him

Like when his client is calling you basic and a slut and he sits in smirking silence?

I’m not normally one to wish ill but my god, I hope she’s about to get blindsided.

So she thinks so much of Jack that she's already half-plotted what she would do to hurt him? OK then.

Horror music.

Warmest eyes? They are lizard eyes.

I fear they are going to waltz off together - they’d be later in the episode if it was a dumping.

I’d be surprised if he doesn’t dump her as Tori has been hyping him up so much in the last 6 minutes this has been on for 🙄 so you know it’s just going to come crashing ( I hope!)

Tori, if he's your equal, take a good hard look at yourself.

Nah the editing of the previews made it look like he's going to dump her so you know he isn't.

She’s giving off bunny boiler vibes.