Masterchef 3...souvide steak anyone???

[Pebbledashery]

In readiness chuffians.

Square noodles box with weird pork. No thank you.

Dhruv and Alex are being very kind this evening.

No that doesn't look appealing really

Even the octopus looks square.

This is all kinds of grim

Oh my god. If I wasn't a veggie I would become one now

I don't think I could bring myself to eat octopus

John's face.

Poor Oliver. I bet that all sounded great in his head.

That looks terrible

Your tentacles are good? Is not a question you ever want to hear.

Dogs dinner

Nope, just nope

Mess, just a mess

Sorry, the square bits are the croutons.

OK, thanks to the sight of that octopus being wrestled dripping out of the pressure-cooker I now know what nightmares I'll be having this evening

Ooooooh. Not good.

Lol honey tomato

That’s next for my family

"I wasn't late to the pass" he says. Like a show off.

Here’s a plate of Cthulhu legs. With tomato.

Baz will provide two perfect plates no doubt.

Those steaks look excellent.

'I wasn't late to the pass once'

Oh do fuck off mon fils

Baz reminds me of "Peter File" from the IT crowd.

I hate mash but do love onion strings, Baz must stay.

Did he say "tobacco onions"?! Am I hearing things?

What’s tobacco onions?