*Mated and Fucking Sorry*- We warned you, but you thought you could take it or leave it. THAT'S NOT HOW ADDICTION WORKS!

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

Please fill up the other thread first - there's still five pages and we're going to need every one of them!

Cheers, fellow obsessives.

It's going to be a long and busy ride to hell . . .

I'd say that millions could soften Carly's cough. Here's hoping he actually changes and gives her proper time and learns from his previous mistake.

Ah lads Joe Pesci is turning out to be far nicer than I thought.

Go Nasser. Better then I expected.

Ashley looked liked she just zones out with him, and I don’t blame her.

I am really starting to like Nasser, although I think the child will be a bit more of a challenge for him

Thing is, if you having to react to that on camera of course you would have to be nice about it. But underneath, who knows what he's really feeling?

It's not like being on camera had made them all act like decent human beings.

Going from tomorrow clip it seems things haven’t improved for Jo. I think she needs to cut her losses and ask them for a new partner, I don’t think he will ever be into her, partly because he was probably expecting an Ashley type, and she’s a bit too loud for him

There was plenty of ridiculous moments in that episode but I just found it a bit... dull. I am not yet gripped. I need a few to drop out before I can bond. Who is most Scarlett-like?

And yes, poor poor whatserface with Troy, he does not understand that women are people, do you Troy? No you don’t! Do you? Who’s a good boy? Yes you are a good boy! Now fetch the stick.

*there were

Just finished! Thoughts...
Sean is a dead ringer for a 1980's Simon Mayo!
Although he's a player, don't think he's going to cope with a woman with the same history.
Troy?! He's either hamming it up for the cameras for comedy effect, or he's a complete oddball. The pressups?! I'd have walked on ahead and started my buffet breakfast and the head scratching thing was like you'd do to your dog! I take back initially finding him slightly attractive. Just, no, he plunges at her lips like a drowning man underwater.

Hoxton - I agree, Jo deserves a better chance at love than her match and if it ain't working, it's a shame to continue.
I had high hopes for Carly and Justin, but he's disappointing so far. Not prioritising her/them and the pillow fort was impenetrable!
I just love the dinner parties, excited for tomorrow!

Damn - missed the middle bit because someone phoned grr... Will have to try to rewatch that but in catchup.

Nasser seems nice from what I saw. Troy is an idiot.

I'm losing track of who is who. Nassar is growing on me after the horrendous introduction video.

The new bloke looks like Gordon Ramsey.

Nasser is coming across well now. I always find these programmes fascinating, that the first impressions of everyone are usually completely wrong, as they're either putting on a nice front or they're playing up for the cameras. When they're allowed to be themselves without the same pressure, they're different people.

Ashley's voice is just completely Stacey Solomon

I remain horrified by Troy’s kissing technique based on the preview of tomorrow’s show. God help Ashley.

Hes like a 15yr old, who has no clue what to do - and has the same overexcitment when near someone he fancies.

I really like Ashley. She seems to be handling Troy pretty well.

The only sensible way to handle Troy is to run away as fast as you can, surely!

Doing push ups whilst they were going to breakfast??! All rightyy then.. (in a Jim Carey voice) totally weird

My thoughts on tonight:

1. Ashley is a closet ginger. Nothing wrong with that but I'm quite proud of my powers of observation so just sharing. Check out her orange tan and freckles.

2. Troy falling into the plunge pool was TV gold.

3. I'm massively irritated by Blair and her 'American teen' persona. The way she moves and talks is so annoying, so affected. And her dress was fucking hideous.

Christ, my period must be due.

This isn’t gripping me as much as the first series .

Don’t know if it’s because I’ve got used to the madness of the whole programme .

Not sure what NPJ and Melissa were on about - is the ‘lurv’ fading there already ?

The honeymoon places are fantastic - what a waste !

Still can’t easily identify the couples - only real standout is Troy because he’s such a *.

Glad Gabrielle ( ? ) opened up about her wig , after lots of repeat clips of much hand wringing . I could see clearly tonight that it is a wig . Wonder how many takes they did of the unveiling ?

Expert Aiken is really going with the ‘cool‘ stubble - he looked quite unkempt tonight .

Not too impressed with tonight’s offering . Could do better.

It’s not gripping me as much because it’s the same dilemmas, practically the same script. It’s boring.

Things need to liven up all right. We can only hope that someone runs off with someone they shouldn't at tomo nights dinner party.

Perhaps Justin will let the money situation slip and gain a few admirers. The oyster vomiting tradie fella will be cast aside and his wife (DaviNIa I think) will be fawning all over Justin.

I think I found something even more trashy this evening. Love After Lockup.

Ive almost completely forgotten the first 4/5 couples, hopefully tomorrow will help in that regard.
I wonder if Troy is just a douche or is there an underlying confidence/anxiety issue. When he started talking about having to maintain his looks for a partner made me wonder. But he is acting so strangely that I dont think I could warm to him at all while still acting like this.

And what’s with Justin and his strange pillow fortress?

#do not touch me I am made of millions