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Telly addicts

*Mated and Fucking Sorry*- We warned you, but you thought you could take it or leave it. THAT'S NOT HOW ADDICTION WORKS!

982 replies

SchadenfreudePersonified · 15/08/2020 10:54

Please fill up the other thread first - there's still five pages and we're going to need every one of them!

Cheers, fellow obsessives. Grin

It's going to be a long and busy ride to hell . . .

OP posts:
CatherineCawood · 19/08/2020 00:05

I just realised who Ashley reminds me of - Stacey Dooley. Not face on but from.the side. Bloody Troy. What a nightmare he is.

CatherineCawood · 19/08/2020 00:10

@YourVagesty

My thoughts on tonight:
  1. Ashley is a closet ginger. Nothing wrong with that but I'm quite proud of my powers of observation so just sharing. Check out her orange tan and freckles.

  2. Troy falling into the plunge pool was TV gold.

  3. I'm massively irritated by Blair and her 'American teen' persona. The way she moves and talks is so annoying, so affected. And her dress was fucking hideous.

Christ, my period must be due.

Yes that's why she reminds me of Stacey Dooley. She is a ginger!

Totally agree about Blair. Very very affected. She holds herself like she is totally in love with herself and yes the dress was meh. Like a nightie!

Italiangreyhound · 19/08/2020 00:16

Yes, can we talk dresses? I loved Carly's dress. Did not like Blair's dress.

Can we also talk crap behavior - Troy stirring up the crocodile on Ashley's back! Justin talking business on his honeymoon! Has he learnt nothing!? And back to Troy pissing off to do push ups before breakfast.

Italiangreyhound · 19/08/2020 00:19

Blair and Sean make a very attractive couple but I think all those ex partners may come between them too.

I'm not sure having had someone cheat on you and then meeting someone who has also been cheated on is really a very strong connection.

Italiangreyhound · 19/08/2020 00:26

bibliomania "I still can't tell them apart. It takes such an investment of time to get to know them all. Surely there is something better I should be doing."

I'll help you out! These views are my own, and my own alone!

Dean and Tracey - lots of sexual chemistry, both like traditional roles
Sarah and Telv - Lovely couple, he is such a cutie and both seem keen
Alycia and Matt - She's adorable, he moaned at the posh dinner
Jo and Sean (pub manager) - she's very lively, he seems anxious
Davina and Ryan - I think she's a sweetie and he is not very self aware
Charlene and Patrick - my favourite couple, she's fab, he's adorable
Gabrielle and Nasser - seem nice and she's told him about the wig
John (known on here as Non-Polynesian John) and Melissa - lovely
Ashley and Troy - he's behaving badly and I think will scupper them
Carly and Justin - he's not present and I think will scupper them
Blair and Sean (non-pub manager) - too early to tell

I went to Oz many years ago, I think I went to Broome!

I'd love to go to Samoa. It looks amazing!

Colouringaddict · 19/08/2020 02:05

Poor Ashley being petted like a pet and clearly wasn’t enjoying it, and he’s so self absorbed that even when he said he could see into her soul when she looked at him, that she couldn’t see how pissed off she was!

Italiangreyhound · 19/08/2020 02:34

Sadly, I think many of the women are failed by this experiment. I think
Alycia, Davina, Ashley and Carly have all been given a babysitting job and not a husband!

hoxtonbabe · 19/08/2020 06:58

@YourVagesty

Was Blair the last one to get married yesterday? If so I too thought her dress was total crap especially as I had pointed out earlier that despite everything they have all has beautiful dresses, even in the last series they had nice dresses, then she comes along with her F&F special

InfiniteSheldon · 19/08/2020 07:17

A bit behind but just watched Troy attacking his teeth Envy that poor girl he is gross.

bibliomania · 19/08/2020 07:52

Thanks for the guide, Italian.. I shall refer back to it as I watch...

Eaumyword · 19/08/2020 08:08

@MissMarplesHandbag

#do not touch me I am made of millions
Brilliant! Just woken and having a chuckle at all the comments on here and nodding vigorously. Blair's dress was indeed awful, especially when she'd tried on another one that was gorgeous on her slim frame. I was saying that one, that one to the TV! I noticed the skipping and posing. Half of me is just envious of her wonderful legs so just ignore me (I have chubby short ones) but she did kind of annoy me with her affected poses. I'm still entertained by it all and looking forward to tonight's dinner party. Davina looks like she's up to something nasty from last night's trailer... Rinder and Schaden, where are you?
RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder · 19/08/2020 08:35

@Italiangreyhound

bibliomania "I still can't tell them apart. It takes such an investment of time to get to know them all. Surely there is something better I should be doing."

I'll help you out! These views are my own, and my own alone!

Dean and Tracey - lots of sexual chemistry, both like traditional roles
Sarah and Telv - Lovely couple, he is such a cutie and both seem keen
Alycia and Matt - She's adorable, he moaned at the posh dinner
Jo and Sean (pub manager) - she's very lively, he seems anxious
Davina and Ryan - I think she's a sweetie and he is not very self aware
Charlene and Patrick - my favourite couple, she's fab, he's adorable
Gabrielle and Nasser - seem nice and she's told him about the wig
John (known on here as Non-Polynesian John) and Melissa - lovely
Ashley and Troy - he's behaving badly and I think will scupper them
Carly and Justin - he's not present and I think will scupper them
Blair and Sean (non-pub manager) - too early to tell

I went to Oz many years ago, I think I went to Broome!

I'd love to go to Samoa. It looks amazing!

I have to screenshot this, it’s so helpful, but I might also suggest a couple of additional bits:-

Dean and Tracey - thumbface and melons - he thinks women are a subspecies of human, she thinks she wants a manly man but needs a man who can see beyond her implants to her... heart.
Sarah and Telv - She is still grieving and hasn’t realised she’s probably still in love with her awful ex, he has two kids and is a kind soul. There is hope here.
Alycia and Matt - She has the self esteem of someone who has lost a lot of weight and never realised how pretty she is (or was), he has an inferiority complex the size of a house, and having put her on a pedestal will struggle to reach up to connect to her. Schadenfreude thinks he has a drinking problem - I’m watching for evidence. He seems nice but I find myself staring into his little piggy eyes, searching for a soul.
Jo and Sean (pub manager) - Jo has a laugh that can crack eggs and gets louder the more uncomfortable she is. She has a fragile sense of self worth and this process could break her like those eggs. Sean has an anxiety problem that makes him seem cold, but also thought that he deserved a stunning young thing. They’re matched on looks and there have been glimpses of kindness from him, but ultimately he can’t stand her, she adores him, they’d make a great sitcom but a bloody awful couple.
Davina and Ryan - she blows up at something every five minutes, he is constantly confused. She has never lived with anyone before, he struggles with eye contact and oysters. I suspect she’s in this for all the wrong reasons (to promote her business) and that his days of partying were actually enormous orgies with all his mates (and no women). He’s not clever enough for her and she’s not kind enough for him.
Charlene and Patrick - Her glam dress matched her glam personality. She is a shining star in this process. He has already repeatedly told her how she’s not what he wants looks-wise, but her personality is carrying it - I am concerned about the negging. This is the couple with the marvellous MIL Ruby! She will defend her pride of place in his life to the death! I suspect ultimately Ruby and Charlene might get on so well that Patrick feels left out.
Gabrielle and Nasser - She wears a wig, he’s a fifty year old boy. We had our worries, but they’ve so far proved us wrong. Both seem besotted by each other, and I hope it continues.
John (known on here as Non-Polynesian John) and Melissa - she is a sensible woman with a lovely heart and down to earth expectations, he is not Polynesian and needs no introduction. They started well, but will cracks appear as she realises that actually Polynesians are even better?
Ashley and Troy - she is the blonde Barbie he ordered, he is an overgrown toddler who has never spoken to or touched a woman before. He has no interest in who she is and will continue to do what he wants when he feels like it and treat her like a pet. She will get very bored of it very quickly.
Carly and Justin - he's the millionaire who sleeps in a pillow fort and hands his business card to everyone they meet, she’s w savvy take-no-nonsense woman who wants a partner who is present in the moment. Will it last? Will it bollocks.
Blair and Sean (non-pub manager) - he’s slept with around two hundred women, she’s had her fun as a serial monogamist, married once. Let’s see if his comment that he can’t see why any partner would care about how many people he’s slept with, will apply to her above-average number. I suspect not.

I think I might have to rewatch some of last night’s episode. I don’t think I took half of it in. I really hope the dinner party helps us all start to see the differences between different people.

bibliomania · 19/08/2020 08:42

That's wonderful, Rinder. Cuts through the confusion like a laser.

Destinysdaughter · 19/08/2020 08:48

Brilliant and insightful summation Rinder, you've got it pretty spot on!

Egghead68 · 19/08/2020 08:49

I can’t warm to Blair at all or summon up any interest in her. The top half of her dress was totally wrong for her frame.

I think I’ve completely forgotten some of the couples from last week. It feels like there are even more than last season (probably not though).

Egghead68 · 19/08/2020 08:52

Thanks for the lists - very helpful!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 19/08/2020 09:32

#do not touch me I am made of millions

#anddon'tthinkyoucangetpregnantandbleedmedryforthenext18years

Rinder and Schaden, where are you?

Don't know what mischief Rinder was getting up too, but I had taken my sore, swollen face to bed v v early and was feeling sorry for myself.

Rinder- I am so glad that you are the other half of our production company - your assessments are, as ever, spot on.

I will have to try to catch up with this circus as soon as I can.

OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 19/08/2020 09:38

I would also say that any bloke who eventually ends up with Sarah, Alycia, Carly, Melissa or (especially) Charlene would be a very lucky man indeed! They seem to be pearls among women.

The others are also great girls, and FAR too good for the town's they have been paired with, but they will have to look upon this as a learning experience . . .

I find it hard to warm to Davinia for some reason, and I worry about Jo because I think she's dreadfully vulnerable.

All Aussie blokes (with the notable exception of last season's Simon, and this season's Telv) seem to have an emotional age of about 7.

I half expect them to show interest in a girl they like by pushing her over in the playground and then running away.

OP posts:
RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder · 19/08/2020 09:43

half expect them to show interest in a girl they like by pushing her over in the playground and then running away

The Aussie equivalent is tickling an alligator whilst it’s around her neck

LadyEloise · 19/08/2020 09:47

I watched my first ever episode with Carly and Justin and Gabrielle and Nasser and have just read this thread and enjoyed it- thank you.
I'm new to MAFSA - do you have a link to the previous threads please ?

SillyCow6 · 19/08/2020 10:22

#do not touch me I am made of millions

#anddon'tthinkyoucangetpregnantandbleedmedryforthenext18years

I agree with Schaden's hashtag there. Either that or his trouser sausage is so shamefully small and limp that he needs to keep her at least a pillow length away

He also seems to put the pillows in a way that he can comfortably sleep spread on his front and his wife (still not at name stage yet) has to dice with the edge of the bed all night long

Eaumyword · 19/08/2020 10:35

Utterly brilliant Rinder, you cut through all the BS! Far better than the "experts" whom I'm increasingly wanting to stab in the eyes with a blunt fork.
Ooh Schaden, sorry to hear that. Toothache sucks. I hope you feel better soon Flowers
Can't wait for tonight.
Ps: I love Melissa and NP John. She's beautiful inside and out but I do wish she wouldn't wear those tan over the knee boots. Her lovely outfits would be imho completed beautifully by youthful sneakers.

Italiangreyhound · 19/08/2020 10:37

RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder good but stop being mean to my girl Davina, are you jealous or something!!! GrinGrin

I agree the womem (aka girls) are there to help the boys (aka men) grow up a bit! John, Telv and maybe the two Seans break that mould.

The difference with Patrick is I want him to break free of mummy and make it with Charlene! Rhinder good call on the negging.

One thing that can be the death knell (hello Cheryl) is admitting someone is 'not your type's in this context!

Why say it.

Better to wait and see.

You don't need an excuse not to be into the other person. It's early days is enough of an excuse! And the whilr purpose of the 'experiment' is to find someone who is not the usual suspect to date!

BlogTheBlogger · 19/08/2020 11:06

Re the pillow fortress, I would just HAVE to launch myself at him with a terrifying Jo like maniacal laugh in the middle of the night, explaining after that his rather unattractive Will Ferrell like allure was too much for a lil ol' girl like me

FlapsInTheWind · 19/08/2020 11:10

It's interesting that Australian men seem to be so juvenile. Even the millionaire seems this way. He has very childlike hand gestures and his behaviour reminds me of that very self centred stage that children (rightly) go through. I know it's edited almost to death but if he can't see that trying to do business whilst on honeymoon he is displaying an astonishing lack of self awareness. It shows his basic personality of thinking of himself before anything or anyone else. In light of his regret of losing his first wife to these behaviours, this is juvenile and ridiculous because by default he is expecting Carly to just accept it and not be irritated by it. He hasn't learned any lessons at all. Carly needs to tell him straight though, not speak in euphemism. The second time he did it I would have gone back to the room. I would not have passively sat there.

I agree with PP that John and the farmer Sean seem the only men in this experiment that have any maturity about them. Childlike behaviour is so unsexy. As for Troy, I believe he is diagnosable.