*Mated and Fucking Sorry*- We warned you, but you thought you could take it or leave it. THAT'S NOT HOW ADDICTION WORKS!

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

Please fill up the other thread first - there's still five pages and we're going to need every one of them!

Cheers, fellow obsessives.

It's going to be a long and busy ride to hell . . .

@VinylDetective

I don't understand how Dean can suggest things are going terribly with Tracey when he's perfectly happy to shag her!

It gets better ...

So is DaviNA thinking about meeting a new guy?

Absolutely yes.

Did anyone else see the smirk on Thumbface's face?? 😏

"John the Expert" looks like he's slept in a skip.

I don't believe that Virgin Sean has really had this relationship he's claiming - he's making it up as an excuse for not getting jiggy.

I think he's in the closet.

I really feel for Jo. The problem is, I think she'd have been happy whoever she was coupled with, whether they were suitable or not. She's just so desperate for love, she'll find it anywhere, and she needs to value herself a lot more.

What is it with Aussie men?

They are almost all either macho mysogynists or scared of being touched by human hands.

Matt is expecting too much of himself and needs to relax and enjoy it!

I agree, raspberry, She's trying so hard to make the best of everything and to enjoy herself.

Sean can't help his feelings- but he should have been more diplomatic and kinder about it.

Schaden my theory is that "John the expert" is going through a mid-life crisis. Hence the extra spiky hair.

And he has bought new suits since last season (not just blue ones) 😂

Thumbface’s decision is totally about her child.

Don’t read until you’ve watched it all!

Dean is so clearly saying Leave without talking to Tracey first, so that he doesn’t risk her putting Leave too. That way he guarantees staying in the process so he can cop off with DaviNA. If he’d let on to her that he was going to call it, he would have risked her saying Leave too. It’s the only way it makes sense and it’s horrifically calculated and cruel.

Old-Sean was also cruel not to talk to Jo. He is too closed emotionally. I really hope they are actually counselled together so they can start talking about stuff. They clearly get on.

Matt needs to sort himself the fuck out and start having fun. He seems so caught up on that one night at the restaurant. When I met DH he corn beef hash was the poshest food ever, but he tried new stuff with me and it was fun!

Trollop-Sean reminds me of a boyfriend I had when I was 18. He was 21 and thought he was a stud with his 20 partners. He also felt his ex betrayed him and said he’d thrown himself into bad boy behaviours to try to feel better. He was just being a childish cock. Sean needs to grow up and stop making excuses. If he wanted a new start it might have been a mistake to let the world know about his past.

Otherwise there were few surprises. Everyone adorable is still adorable.

Skids into thread, late again. Do I get a detention?

Up to Sean the crocodile tears promiscuous virgin walking off the couch

So cruel to humiliate someone so publicly!

It's disgusting - poor Jo. Even if they stay she will never pull back from that.

I think Matt looks like what's-his-name that Tracey Barlow killed in Corrie,

"Experts" wriggling on the hook here.

Tracy's surgery is really terrible. She could sue - the mouth, nose, eyes - it all looks off.

The patronising smiles and comments of the "experts" are driving me crackers.

I would slap them silly if they tried that stuff with me.

I am disappointed m, what was the "first time in married first sight history" thing??

My word - DaviNA is a COWBAG!

And Thumbface just PREENED himself! What a c*ck!

@inappropriateraspberry

Tracy's surgery is really terrible. She could sue - the mouth, nose, eyes - it all looks off.

It is pretty grim, isn't it?

Tracy didn't deserve to be treated like that, but she offered it on a plate and I don't think Dean's the kind of guy to say no, however he feels about a woman.

What was Sean the Virgin weeping about? I lost track. Was it really that a former flame had been unfaithful 5 years earlier, or did I miss something?

My hunch about the voting is that the experts/production team get a sneak peek of the Stay or Leave slips in advance, and fix the asking of the questions so that the Stayer in a mismatched couple gets blindsided.

I feel sorry for Ryan.

Why on earth does he want to stay to be publicly humiliated by that witch?

That preview. I’m gonna have to keep watching guys!

DaviNA’s face throughout Tracey’s trauma, she tried to hide her grin under her shocked expression but failed abysmally. Even if you fancy the guy, you still feel compassion for a woman who has just been dumped as a complete surprise on television.

My hunch about the voting is that the experts/production team get a sneak peek of the Stay or Leave slips in advance, and fix the asking of the questions so that the Stayer in a mismatched couple gets blindsided.

I think so too - but I think they should remember that these are real people with real emotions that they are playing about with. They deserve better.