EASTENDERS 26 - N O MEANS NO SPOILERS. NOW. NEVER EVER !!!

[Blondeshavemorefun]

Obv we have the sad death of mrs spam

Thankfully Aiden storyline finished

No one seems to know or care where baby abi is

Ben is still wandering round France

Poor karen and she has grown on us. Just like carol branning did. Anyone who comes in with lots of kids and shouting etc - seems to warm the cockles of our hearts

Jack will shag mel

Will kat /slaters stay or disappear again

Any more stories going on?

I was wondering about how few kids go on to university on EE.

Libby and Sausage. I think Abi cocked up her A levels.

In RL round my way (which isn't remotely middle class) loads of 18 year olds go to university. I think we deserve to see a thriving University College, Walford (UCW) where Michelle can be Vice-Chancellor what with all her lovely teaching skills and Karen can head up the Home Ec outreach programme after a two minute interview.

Surely Denise is destined for a faculty position, Liney?

Denise, of course, Optimist. For her, the Chair of Creative Writing in the Department of Wordything Studies. Her interview will last just one minute where she says, 'Ted Hughes,' and the panel all nod and smile.

Lauren can return to say 'chicken shops,' to head up Town Planning and Applied Architecture.

Dancer that’s a great idea! You are right abnormal amount of kids go uni. Could still all work part time in pub!

Indeed - Sausage is the only student who's ever worked in a bar in Walford!

Oh yes Dee would be head of English running degree and masters courses in both language and literature whilst also being solely responsible for tutoring those who need extra help with literacy.

She has an English gcse don't ya know

I'm working on the episode where UCW meet Wetherfield University in University Challenge.

Captains - Jay Mitchell, reading Mortuary Practice in the Post-Modern Urban Environment & Bethany Platt, reading Feminist Theology and Critical Understandings of the Male Gaze.

Liney/ can you imagine the sneer on Paxman’s face if he had to record that episode?
Dee would be there too no doubt. ‘ how I went from food bank to prosperity within weeks’
‘ critical understanding of the male gaze’- genius.

I thought they were gonna take Denise's further education further (). But then maybe storyliners looked at our posts on here from last year, see we all took the piss, and gave up.

I had a strange sensation last night when I was catching up on the last week's episodes. A feeling I'd nearly forgotten. From the mists of time. I was mildly entertained

It has been a bit more entertaining lately - bringing back old characters has given it a retro feel and the Bernie/ Ted story had been well handled. I don’t like the daughter though - she is trouble.
Dee hasn’t had a good story in a while though. She is one that drifts.

Dancer that’s so funny! They need to take Dee further. Even if she didn’t want to study surely the Newley awakened “live of learning” would get her doing something?

This way when her adopted Son appear in 15y and she’s some well off, high powered job he can kick off!

Will we all still be around in 15 years time when Dee / phil’s offspring appears? I’ll be 68 by then!
Dee will be running the country by then.

Oh, the offspring will be DPhil. Very university.

He will be surly with a chip on his shoulder. Issues. Asking around after Phil in a menacing tone - then get a job in the arches within the week.

We could do 5y predictions that would be fun. Then if we are still around can read them

I'm 4 episodes behind and the temptation to not bother is overwhelming I'm so not interested in the slaters and actively dislike Mel and the faff with jack and Hunter but why can't I tear myself away

It's because of us, Figgy.

5 years - lily will be a young teen so problems there I bet. Tiff will have a child by then. Karen will be running another launderette and have pots of money. Witney will be married to halfway. Mick n L will be divorced. Johnny will have his own chat show on tv.

So Kat's lottery money has gone.
I still think, before teens, Lily will want to be a dancer. They have occasionally mentioned her ballet recitals and exams and we see the posters around the square, usually the caff.

Oh good call on Lilly! Tiff will def have a baby she is Bianca mark2.

We still have lots dreaded teenagers so Denny, jacks kids and honeys boy will be all failing in love yawn.

Hopefully we will be bored of Mik n Linda and they will have moved on with new couple settling in. Who can make money out of it.

Phil has to retire to Spain at some point. Hopefully Sharon will have found someone that fancies her and have some chemistry. Or she will become secret ganster Queen, running hold ups and arranging for dead bodies to disappear.

Honey will met drop dead rich guy and Billy will be forever trying feel he is still a good dad.

Saying billy wants to be a good dad makes me think of peter Andre - only Billy's much more likeable

Billy the good dad! maybe he will marry a celebrity and start endorsing frozen food products.
yes to Sharon being Queen Bee - a kind of female Dirty Den arranging heists. True that the kiddies will all be that much older and ready to start running amok.
The Vic might have another face lift and Ev will come back from the dead ( hopefully) or her twin or something.
Shirley will marry her polish builder and the vic will get a new bathroom.

What does Sharon see in Phil? I don't really get their relationship. I mean, I kind of do in Eastenders logic. But...?

It's seems very tiring.

lily, the new Darcey Bussell.

Keanu and Ingrid have a child. He finally gets the courage to move out.

Jay meets a nice new girlfriend and they are actually happy together without any angst. He makes a success of the parlour.
Mel sleeps with most of the square, again! ends up with Ian after losing her job and her home. Ian divorces Jane.