Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

How much alcohol to allow nearly 14yo on holiday?

82 replies

Itchyandscratchy · 22/07/2015 17:14

We're on hols now. Dd1 (14 in Sept) asks for alcohol every evening at the moment. She started asking for sips of wine/beer and we allowed her to have a stumpy bottle of beer last night. She seems very interested with the idea of drinking, in what I think is a slightly unhealthy way.
She's very mature in some ways but seems quite immature in others & we're used to the sulks and bouts of unreasonableness.
We've talked to her about drink and asked her if she's just desperate to 'get' or 'be' drunk - she shrugs and says she's aware of the consequences (via us and school). She just seems to think it's very glamorous. How much should we ignore, how much should we allow, he much should we prevent?

Btw I was a complete eedjit at her age, drinking in secret and behaving dreadfully. I lived with my dad and was quite feral. Dd1 doesn't know this (about the drinking) but I'm terrified she'll think it's big and clever like I did.

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 22/07/2015 17:17

Is this when out and about or in your holiday accommodation?

I only ask because if you buy her alcohol when eating out you may be breaking the law.

LaurieFairyCake · 22/07/2015 17:18

I don't give 13 year olds full glasses of alcohol and I just say it's an adult activity

I do give an inch in a glass and water it down with lemonade to make a spritzer

If they showed an unhealthy interest they'd get none Grin apart from me saying 'it's an adult activity like paying rent, let me know when you're able to do that'

Bunbaker · 22/07/2015 17:21

I have always allowed DD to taste alcohol (at home) and she has decided that she doesn't want to drink it it at all now. She is 15 and seen the results of her uncle's alcoholism.

BackforGood · 22/07/2015 17:21

None - except the odd sip / taste.
Yes, I have a teen who is 13 in Sept and also 2 older teens who, at 16 / 17 would have the odd drink, but not 13.

caravanista13 · 22/07/2015 17:22

None! Far too young.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 22/07/2015 17:23

My dd is almost 15 and had her first drink (a glass of Bucks Fizz) whilst out for dinner last weekend. She said it made her tired. Shown no interest in drinking previously. It was a very special occasion, though. 14 is too young to be drinking any amount regularly. I'd just say no.

thatstoast · 22/07/2015 17:24

Are you drinking every night and she wants to join in? Or would she want a drink even if nobody else was doing it? I think a little drink on a special occasion is OK but not every night.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 22/07/2015 17:27

Just realised she is 13. I would never give an under 16 a bottle of beer. Too young. I think she is too young, special occasion or not.

BertrandRussell · 22/07/2015 17:29

None.

ggirl · 22/07/2015 17:30

too young!

CherryBonBon · 22/07/2015 17:30

None.

FanOfHermione · 22/07/2015 17:31

If she is wanting to taste alcoh every night with you then it means that you/your DH are drinking alcohol daily.

I would start with reducing that so there is no 'oh I want to try that too!'

I certainly wouldn't give her a full glass of whatever.

And I would carry on making comments about how bad it is to be drunk, to just 'come across' photos of people who are drunk and behaving stupidly and show her the RL results of being drunk.

Also is it ever happening that you it your DH are drunk? Are you talking about 'a night out' where so and do for drunk and did xxxx?

BleachEverything · 22/07/2015 17:32

A 13 year old shouldn't be having any..

catwithflowers · 22/07/2015 17:32

None at all I'm afraid

Original poster
Itchyandscratchy · 22/07/2015 17:33

We haven't bought her any when out; it's been at 'home' whilst we're (DH & I) having a drink in the evening.
I just talked to Dh about it and we're working seeing if it's a 'show-off' activity that she thinks she can boast about on Facebook? I caught her taking a photo of herself with an empty beer bottle yesterday. If absolutely love to say no until she's 15 or something but I also can't help thinking the more we ban something, the more glamorous it will seem to her.
I'm happy to say no, though. 'Happy' as in I'm prepared for more sulks and rolled eyes and the usual...

OP posts:
Twinkie1 · 22/07/2015 17:33

None.

She seems to have an unhealthy interest for someone so young.

WhattodowithMum · 22/07/2015 17:33

None.

Coffeemarkone · 22/07/2015 17:33

none tbh

SeraOfeliaFalfurrias · 22/07/2015 17:34

At home? As a daily thing? Not one drop. I can't fathom why you are even considering fostering a habit of daily social drinking in a child 4 years under the legal age.

Before 18 drinking (a small and weak drink) should be a rare treat on very special occasions only.

Twinkie1 · 22/07/2015 17:34

Are you not,concerned about the ramifications of her posting on Facebook about this?

endofthelinefinally · 22/07/2015 17:34

None.

Original poster
Itchyandscratchy · 22/07/2015 17:34

Yes we've had a drink every night - were on holiday. We usually only drink at weekends and occasions or when out and not in her sight.

OP posts:
Groovee · 22/07/2015 17:34

I wouldn't give a 13 year old alcohol. It's still 5 years off her being able to legally drink in pubs etc.

KneeHighScooterBruises · 22/07/2015 17:34

None!

coolaschmoola · 22/07/2015 17:35

For the sake of her immature liver and kidneys which would struggle to filter the alcohol out effectively it'd be a no from me.