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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

House party with alcohol at 13?

76 replies

Duracell66 · 03/02/2015 21:01

My daughter wants to go to a girls house for a party. Only trouble is this girl had a party last month, they are all 13-14 years old. The girls mum asked they all bring their own drink but at the last party that my daughter did not go to, they were all drinking and being taken advantage of by the boys! I only know because I saw the pictures and chat on my daughters phone the day after. Now she has been invited, we do not want her to go, but she is kicking off because she claims her friends are going and she promises not to drink! What do I do?

OP posts:
ssd · 03/02/2015 21:04

good grief

no way. full stop.

itiswhatitiswhatitis · 03/02/2015 21:05

If your happy for your dd to drink and be around other drunk 13 year olds and for her to potentially either willing engage in sexual activity with boys or possibly be pressured into sexual activity with boys then sure why not?

Or just be a parent and say no

CurlyWurlyCake · 03/02/2015 21:06

No no no.

In fact, wtf??

hoobypickypicky · 03/02/2015 21:08

Why are you even asking? Is the answer not glaringly obvious? No!

Noggie · 03/02/2015 21:08

I am a teacher and know this happens- it's easier for parents to 'go with the flow' rather than say no but that doesn't make it right! 13 year kids should not be drinking lots of alcohol- it's a recipe for disaster!

Lweji · 03/02/2015 21:08

Not in a million years. Or at least until she is 18.

ssd · 03/02/2015 21:11

its not easier, its a cop out

big difference

HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway · 03/02/2015 21:13

What do you do?

You continue to say hell no and you let her kick off to her 13 yr old content!

HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway · 03/02/2015 21:14

heart's content.

IHaveBrilloHair · 03/02/2015 21:14

No way

Hulababy · 03/02/2015 21:15

Not a chance. House parties with alcohol are for sixth formers and above.

SkilledatSkiving · 03/02/2015 21:16

Bloody hell. I have a child who will be 13 this year. This is so far off the radar it's not funny.

Caronaim · 03/02/2015 21:18

No.

This is where your young teen REALLY needs you to be a parent. She needs to know you love her and care about her welfare and will forbid anything you consider harmful.

however much she kicks off about it, she really does need you to say no.

RJnomore · 03/02/2015 21:20

Is this some type of bizarre reverse thread?

MuttonCadet · 03/02/2015 21:24

Good god no.

Vijac · 03/02/2015 21:26

I'm quite surprised that everyone's responding no. I went to those parties at that age and would have been very cross if not allowed. Think the only difference is that my parents didn't really know about the drink, though they probably could have guessed. If I wasn't allowed then next time I would have lied that I was going to a sleepover I think. At least that's the sort of thing my friend did (strict parents). I would have a talk with her about risks of drinking and consent/risk of getting into situations when drunk etc. But say you trust her and let her go with a reasonable time for collection and maybe a call halfway through.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 03/02/2015 21:29

What do you do? Be a parent, make a decision?

ssd · 03/02/2015 21:30

"I'm quite surprised that everyone's responding no. I went to those parties at that age and would have been very cross if not allowed."

I'd rather have my 13 year old very cross than half pissed.

Hulababy · 03/02/2015 21:31

Vijac

I can honestly say that I didn't go to these kid of parties at this age it just wasn't on the radar at all, and tbf to DD it just is a million miles away right now for DD and her friends.

DD only sleeps over at friends if I have checked with them first - I would never take DD's word on a sleepover, not because I don't trust her - just I want to have some contact with the parents before she is spending nights in their home.
Fortunately I know most of her friend's parents and none would allow this kind of party for some time yet.

DD has tried alcohol, but only very small amounts and only ever at home - and she just isn't interested. She'd rather have a can of coke.

ImperialBlether · 03/02/2015 21:32

Very cross or very pregnant. Hmm.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 03/02/2015 21:32

At my dd"s 14th there were boys and girls and a small amount of drink which I bought. We stayed upstairs. There was an end time for collection. It was fine.

Dd2 will be 14 soon and wants nothing of the sort, but I personally think if parents are around and there's a limit, it's not the worst thing. If not, not so much.

Hulababy · 03/02/2015 21:33

I'd rather have my 13 year old very cross than half pissed.

Exactly! A cross daughter is far preferable to a drunk girl getting herself into situations she isn't old enough to deal with.

Ohnodisaster · 03/02/2015 21:33

No way. 16 I would consider it.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 03/02/2015 21:34

'Getting herself into situations'?

Bunbaker · 03/02/2015 21:34

"I'm quite surprised that everyone's responding no."

I'm very surprised that you are very surprised. 13 year olds getting drunk and behaving inappropriately is not something any responsible parent would want for their children. Grow up.

There is no way I would let 14 year old DD go to a party like that.

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