Professor White and the line dancing surfers eat cold turkey

[serialtester]

Welcome to the surfboard!

Oh lost I know that feeling!!

I had a time of watching people taking their kids out looking healthy and happy and I was in pjs sweating it out and too afraid to leave the house because people
Would know what I had done.

It does get better, I still don't do one day at a time, sometimes it's one hour at a time,
But it gets better and life does have joy.

Sending un MN hugs

snowball Tell me about what's happening today? What do you have in the house? What do you have to do today?

Keep posting, you can get through today.

Snowball, I think that you need to take things hour by hour. You sound so unhappy, you poor thing.

I'm in bed but haven't slept in days. I probably have a quarter here. I've put off going out for dinner as I couldn't eat it and don't want to see my family

Thank you I'm struggling soooooo much

Ok, do you have DC? Partner?

I'd forget trying to sleep and try a shower. I know how it almost feels painful to take off clothes because your muscles hurt and it's cold.

But try a shower or sink wash and something clean to wear then think after that.

Nothing no further on than that.

At last someone understands. Heating on full blast and even a hot waterbottle!

I'm on my own.

Ok, try a shower and some clean clothes. Just go for the next hour and see after that.

How much is it per bag?

A shower or bath sounds like a plan. See how you feel after that.

Decent stuff around £80 a gram. I get 3 for £200 as its daily.

How long have you been using 3g a day?

Ooh yes a lovely bath for you snowball and just putting one foot in front of the other. Most of us are hooked on baths here!

A big ((hug)) from me here. You will feel amazing if you can get through a few hours without it. Taking back some control will give you enormous strength. Wishing you peace of mind

Lovely Cleaning are you ok?

I'm sorry if anyone was annoyed by my comment at 23:07 yesterday. I was only referring to me and OH and the Saturday night routine/rut we've fallen into. I certainly wasn't passing judgement on anyone else.

Since October. I've had a few days off, if I've slept through but not many to be fare.

How would you feel about deleting the number?

Who are you hiding the cost from?

Definitely just do til 1pm, maybe have a berroca or similar if you have any, the other thing I found massively helpful was the cans of milkshake called nurishment.

There's 500 calories in a can and lots
Of vitamins and you don't have to try chewing (like a disgusting washing machine, awful feeling trying to eat!!)

I think snowball (and feel free to tell me to fuck off!) that for you a realistic initial goal would be to reduce the amount you're doing every day.

You must be exhausted.

I'd never tell anyone to fuck off. Your the only people I've been able to admit this too

Yep agree serial, maybe attempt to space out a little bit longer or reduce the order to 2.
You must be shattered you poor thing.

Please do know though that we have all been there and wouldn't judge ever.

You guys are the only ones that know about me too!
10 years and £60k later and I came out the other side, have faith snowball!
God it's nice to get this off
My chest I have to say!

witty no worries sounds like you slipped up last night like me.
I'm hauling you back onto the surfboard with me. Really determined, I can't keep putting myself through this.

snowball we're all behind you holding your hand.
Not sure if that makes sense hopefully you know what I mean!

When you say you wouldn't judge, what if I've done something terrible.

I've had some terrible dark times and done things I regret Snowball.

I'll tell you my terrible things if you want first?
I've lied, stolen money from my child's savings (it's replaced now!), deceived people into getting bulk orders and taking half for myself, been sacked from a job for showing up on no sleep, lied to my husband my friends, colleagues and slept with people (a long time ago) so I could share their drugs.

If that makes you feel in any way better I'm happy to share more because I've done some humdinger fuck ups!

But life is fine now, I'm on day 196 and it's okay.

Morning! Afternoon rather! Chained to my laptop as a result of taking ds swimming on Friday rather than working

All fine here, I did take something last night but it was mainly drink and too many cigs. Had such a laugh with dh and our friends and it felt like a final goodbye. Totally different to our darker times doing it just the two of us. In fact I think all of the last few times have been with friends and to be honest that bothers me a lot less than when it was 5 times a week and feeling depressed.

Snowball keep talking, I hope we can help.