What to wear to sleb-studded private art view in a swanky mayfair club(I will be 3x their size, have nothing to wear, and may well cry in the toilets, but have to go for DP's sake?)

[BitOfFun]

Sorry, am new to posting in Style (as I last bought clothes eons ago), but I really need your help!

DP is having a major show (he is an artist) in a very posh club in London in a month, and told me excitedly that all sorts of people have said they are coming, including Girls Aloud. I do of course feel very proud of him and want to be there to support him, but the thought of Cheryl "I was so fat at 9.5 stone I wanted to kill myself" Cole swanning around is too much for my fragile ego to bear...

I am 5'2", a size 12, probably will have skin too bad (psoriasis bad at mo) to show much arm or leg, and also clueless when it comes to knowing what sort of outfit would be appropriate.

I hate shopping, so online if possible would be great. Please help me, I am majorly stressing out about going to a big do when I am a bit shy anyway, and o don't want to be sneered at by famous twiglets or (heaven forbid) hear "Oi, outta the picture fatarse!" from some paps

Please help me feel more confident and pick an outfit!

"I will have to get pissed". Arf.

Slightly less high shoes sound good. You will be standing all night.

Until you fall down

simple silver or white gold jewellery i think

No, not all black with that dress.

Sucky in underwear might not be good as I believe sex may be on the cards after such a big night. So get some lovely underwear, Cuban hell stockings then I think Jade green round toed high heeled courts and a purple clutch bag. One very simple necklace.

www.tattydevine.com/boutique/product_info.php?cPath=119&products_id=672 This is fab in rl.

Hmm, liking these ideas...
Will have to be opaques unless my skin has cleared up a lot. Which it might have, as I was at the hospital today and they are starting me on heavy meds for it (yey!!) next week. My kidneys and blood pressure will be shot to feck apparently, but you have to suffer to be beautiful as my mother told me...

I agree about the undies too- all those support shorts do is give me fat knees

Lolol, that is the only way I ever wear my hair- I can't do a thing with it!

Lovely links here- thanks for all your help ladies

Noooooooo Annie, how could you? those oliver charms are too brilliant and so affordable. I am a charm addict. I may have to get my visa out.

Bumping so Vinegartits and the other girls might see what I bought?

I like it a lot. Not sure abotu green shoes.

I don't know either KW- but I'll try some on. I might go for mary janes in the black patent leather platform style. The ones I've got are just a bit too wobbly, and I am hoping for free champagne Unless we've got to pay for it? Hope not....

Where is it then?

Dress is lovely, it will look fab on you i am sure (go for black patent shoes)

And your DD is gorgeous!

Thanks, mwah!

is that you that your DH has photographed on his site??

Thanks, mwah!

Thanks, mwah!

I am sure you will look lovely whatever you choose.

Some of the women there will be over-dressed in crazy last-minute fashions and some will look very glam. Don't bother about them - what will you be comfortable in?

When in doubt, go for the plain black dress elegant and simple, with some nice shoes and accessories. Get your hair and nails done and have a great time.

(Especially if you can pose next to a beautiful canvas version of you!)

Oops, big malfunction on the 3g there! Yes, it's me, but I have put quite a lot of wine-induced weight on since, am scabby from psoriasis, and unfortunately have yet to perfect a way of only occupying beautifully-lit spaces with judicious stomach shrinkage in photoshop, so don't be too fooled

you are absolutly gorgeos

you would look stunning in a bin bag

please dont worry about being a size 12, im sure it just makes you all the sexier

Oops, big malfunction on the 3g there! Yes, it's me, but I have put quite a lot of wine-induced weight on since, am scabby from psoriasis, and unfortunately have yet to perfect a way of only occupying beautifully-lit spaces with judicious stomach shrinkage in photoshop, so don't be too fooled

Oh crap, my phone is totally on blink- I hope this doesn't post a million times- I don't want everyone to know!!