What to wear to sleb-studded private art view in a swanky mayfair club(I will be 3x their size, have nothing to wear, and may well cry in the toilets, but have to go for DP's sake?)

[BitOfFun]

Sorry, am new to posting in Style (as I last bought clothes eons ago), but I really need your help!

DP is having a major show (he is an artist) in a very posh club in London in a month, and told me excitedly that all sorts of people have said they are coming, including Girls Aloud. I do of course feel very proud of him and want to be there to support him, but the thought of Cheryl "I was so fat at 9.5 stone I wanted to kill myself" Cole swanning around is too much for my fragile ego to bear...

I am 5'2", a size 12, probably will have skin too bad (psoriasis bad at mo) to show much arm or leg, and also clueless when it comes to knowing what sort of outfit would be appropriate.

I hate shopping, so online if possible would be great. Please help me, I am majorly stressing out about going to a big do when I am a bit shy anyway, and o don't want to be sneered at by famous twiglets or (heaven forbid) hear "Oi, outta the picture fatarse!" from some paps

Please help me feel more confident and pick an outfit!

oops I realised my advice is pretty much the same as bobs' sorry I hadn't read the whole thread!

Bit of fun can I come

bitoffun can you put a pic of urself on your profile?

BitofFun - you are a godsend posting this. I am off to the Valkyrie premiere next week and also have 0 to wear and am a healthy size 14, and a good foot taller than Tom Cruise.

You sound like an hourglass

Lovely dress here - bit boh-y/ vintagey in real life and would look lovely with a chunky wedgey platform and opaques
www.jigsaw-online.com/productdetails.aspx?id=1000012&itemno=J04134

or this

www.monsoon.co.uk/invt/45000803&bklist=icat,5,shop,women,dresses,eveningdresses

BitofFun get the pull in shorts from Primark they are awesome and all the slebs wear them did you know that Beyonce is also A size 12 and she is hot but has been caught wearing the shorts.

Hmm, no ping, I'm in work on my I-phone...if you have a look on DP's site I am the one with scruffy blonde hair? But mentally add a good stone of over-overindulgence! Maybe a stone and a half

Sorry if I've crossposted- had a customer and had to abandon this halfway through...TIA

Wow, you guys are brilliant! I have to say though, shorts? Over my dead body

Those are a bit frumpy polly, imo.

something like this?
www.marksandspencer.com/gp/product/B001OOG5JQ/sr=1-5/qid=1232037550/ref=sr_1_5/279-8523815-2062906?i e=UTF8&node=43091030&m=A2BO0OYVBKIQJM&keywords=&mnSBrand=core&size=9&rh=&page=
not sure about the spots tho

I think she means underwear type shorts, like spanx.

I remember seeing Jackie Llewelyn Bowen, in that documentary about them last year, panicking about some swishy event they had to go to.

She got a silvery grey a-line skirt (you could wear whatever shape flatters you), and her DH painted a few deft swirls on it in black - it looked fab, and she wore it with a fitted black jacket and chunky high heels.

She was going on the premise that the supermodels/a-list celebs would be wearing top-end designer clobber which she couldn't afford, so this way she could wear something original.

Could you get your (clearly talented) DH to do similar for you? Obviously practise on newspaper first!

or if you want a plain dress to accessorize

www.marksandspencer.com/gp/product/B001LVA28C/ref=sr_11_1/279-8523815-2062906?ie=UTF8&n=43091030&key words=&mnSBrand=core&numItemsFound=1

Btw, don't automatically assume you can wear black - it looks awful if your skin is the wrong tone. Get to an image consultant and have your colours 'done'.

Oh BOF, we have seen your figure in your dp's artwork so dont try to kid us your not gorgeous girly

You will out do them all i just know it, you will make girls aloud look like plastic sindy dolls with big heads, and all the men will be thinking 'oh wow look, now theres a REAL woman' when they see you

Liverpool is the fashion culture of the modern world, get yourself out to town and see what people are wearing for ideas

black jersey wrap dress with killer accessories and vey industrial underwear to give an amazing figure. They make you stand taller with better posture so instantly feel more gorgeous (even if you cant breathe )

errrr BoF if that is you in DH's photographs dont think you have much to worry about!
Wear the tutu!!!
I love his work esp the grafitti!

www.topshop.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=0&viewAllFlag=&catalogId=19551&s toreId=12556&categoryId=103409&parentcategoryrn=42344&productId=996543&langId=-1

I'm liking this, it's 100% silk too.

Have no idea what style of dress of clothing you like BOF, but i think you might suit something like this

OOh, love both VT's and TDWP's choices.

Or this

give us a hint of what you like?

So which one is you BoF? If it's you in DH's photographs then you are gorgeous and as LoveMyLapTop said, you don't have much to worry about. I would go with either draipy trousers as said [or a plain wrap dress] with accessories or fabulous shoes. Spanx is great...I speak from experience - they make you stand up straight and give a great outline!!
I think above all you should pick something that you love and are comfortable in....if you feel good in what you're wearing then you will ooze sexiness! Perhaps some time with a personal shopper/stylist at one of the department stores would help - even if it's just to get some ideas?

Just finished work, will check out all the links properly when I can sit down properly...you have all been fabulous, honestly, I feel much cheerier

I'll message you all back later, thankyou so much!

Ooooo VT...love the full circle chiffon dress - gorgeous....you have a good eye.
BoF says she hates shopping - did I read somewhere that one of the stores offer a personal shopper type service but they actually bring outfits to your home?? I may have imagined it tho?! Any ideas??