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I am NOT enjoying choosing my wedding dress - pics

536 replies

Pinkarsedfly · 16/04/2019 21:22

I’m getting married on my 45th birthday, in just a couple of weeks - and I’m so excited.

Except I’m at my fattest. Ever. And suddenly who I feel I am inside doesn’t match what’s in the mirror.

I simply can’t find a dress that suits me.

I keep thinking I’ve found ‘the one’ - then I see the pics and just feel I look heinous, and back it goes.

If I show the pics, can anyone out there give me honest feedback, make suggestions etc?

It’s a tiny registry office wedding followed by a nice dinner after.

TIA

OP posts:
Thread gallery
37
Pinkarsedfly · 16/04/2019 23:06

Believe it or not, tit-bolster dress 3 is from Ghost.

I usually love their stuff.

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 16/04/2019 23:07

They're pretty dresses in themselves but don't really do you justice, especially not for something as special as your wedding. Have a look at this, remembering you can get it in a vast range of colours (click the colour link)

www.lightinthebox.com/en/p/a-line-plunging-neck-midi-lace-satin-made-to-measure-wedding-dresses-with-sashes-ribbons-by-lan-ting-bride_p6792066.html?category_id=1181&prm=1.4.1.1

Pinkarsedfly · 16/04/2019 23:10

I love that Monsoon one, but it’s sold out in my size.

OP posts:
BluntAndToThePoint · 16/04/2019 23:12

What size are you? Other places sell Monsoon products.

SansasSnatch · 16/04/2019 23:15

Get the one realhousewife posted!

PotterHead1985 · 16/04/2019 23:16

Here missus if you are fat then I am the bloody Michelin Man/Stay Puft Marshmallow Man!!!

Basically you are not fat. You are secksi mamma. Got it Grin

On to the dresses.
1, I personally think the colour is drab
2, looks amazing on you
3, makes you look a bit fuddy duddy but with a proper fitting bra and perhaps a waist cinching belt could totally work.

Love the first red shoes but the red shoe boots are To Die For.

WineIsMyCarb · 16/04/2019 23:17

Yes please report back!!

Pinkarsedfly · 16/04/2019 23:17

I’m a shoe boot addict, but I don’t think I’d get married in them...mind you at this stage I’m ruling out nothing!

OP posts:
IHateUncleJamie · 16/04/2019 23:17

Late to the party but I love dress 1 on you! Sorry if that’s not helpful. Blush

Dress 3 tells me you need a more supportive bra and I echo pps advice to go for a proper fitting (not M&S).

I love the idea of red shoes but minus ankle straps. If you feel busty then no high necks or turtlenecks, yes to sleeves, yes to v neck/scoop neck/square neck.

Why did you send dress 1 back, out of interest? Flowers

azulmariposa · 16/04/2019 23:18

https://uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/ukcatalog/monn1,mon1.2/6428671114
This dress is very flattering, and a beautiful light grey, so not too weddingy!

IMO dress 2 style suited you the most, if it was a different colour then I'd go for it (I hate green, sorry!)

Pinkarsedfly · 16/04/2019 23:18

I’m a 14, Blunt

OP posts:
tothesea · 16/04/2019 23:18

I got married in a Nancy Mac dress OP..I love ‘em so beautiful. Which other two have you ordered from there? I also love House of Foxy dresses. Would you wear dark green www.thehouseoffoxy.com/vintage-style-dresses/1960s-bardot-dress-dark-emerald

headisajungle · 16/04/2019 23:18

I’ve never seen anyone look bad in a wedding dress!

Pinkarsedfly · 16/04/2019 23:20

IHateUncleJamie I sent it back because the colour just drained me. A shame, because I loved the dress in pics - particularly the sleeves.

I didn’t think the shape was that flattering on me either.

OP posts:
Crafting1Queen · 16/04/2019 23:22

OP, Hunni, I understand (& feel your pain) where you are coming from re your current weight & how uncomfortable you are probably feeling about it, along with a bit of annoyance/frustration etc at yourself for being "at your fattest" only a few weeks before your Wedding Day, especially as you say you've never been this heavy before. But, please, please, please be kind to yourself right now - and actually look at yourself/photographs as if it were a friend/another poster on here asking for the same help & advice & you will see what we see!

I also know you are not one of these people saying oh I'm so fat …. knowing everyone will say oh no you're not etc (& I'm not knocking anyone here who is reassuring you, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT FAT!!!!) But please take it from someone who was in your exact same shoes (literally) when I was getting married and cursing that I was at my fattest at funnily enough 13 stone and had to go out and buy an emergency 2nd dress and shoes 3 days before my big day, To then find myself, several years down the line weighting an additional 3 stone and when I see photos of myself back then I can't believe how trim & lovely I looked AND YOU ARE THE SAME! You aren't bulging out with blubber etc, you still have elegance and shape!

Please stop judging yourself/how you look in the dresses you are trying on by comparing it to how much better you think you'd look if you were only a little bit lighter. I've never been someone whose weight has dropped with worry, I always go up the way, and everyone was saying in the run up to the wedding, oh don't worry it'll drop off you before the big day, eh no! I think also the stress I was putting myself under and how angry I was at myself when I kept on trying on my original dress just actually made me worse & I ended up not any heavier, but more bloated. Who you are inside doesn't change, but I know what you meant by that.

Please try not to panic, please be kinder to yourself and maybe go into Town or where ever you can, to actually try dresses in the shops, so that if it doesn't fit/suit, you've not got the stress of waiting for it to arrive & then posting it back etc. Also that way you can maybe go a little off piste and try on ones that you definitely wouldn't order online and you may be pleasantly surprised. If you're shape has changed a wee bit, and you keep picking dress styles that used to suit you, you may find youself onto a loser.

A bit late now, but for what it's worth, I liked the styles of dress 1 and 2, but definitely not 3 (very matronly). Loving the red shoes, especially the T-Bar ones.

Good luck lovely lady, and (no pressure) please either add a photo of the dress you do finally choose, or post one of you all done up in your Wedding Finery on the day. Main thing to remember is - you're DP is marrying you - not the dress ;)

I keep thinking I’ve found ‘the one’ - then I see the pics and just feel I look heinous

IHateUncleJamie · 16/04/2019 23:22

Ah, fair enough. I liked the shape on you but I get what you mean about the colour.

Those Monsoon ones pps have linked to are gorgeous.

Pinkarsedfly · 16/04/2019 23:23

Did you, tothesea? Which one did you go for?

I’ve ordered this

and

this

They’re a bit left-field, but I’m getting desperate.

OP posts:
StillMe1 · 16/04/2019 23:24

Another vote for the Pretty Kitty dress. It is gorgeous.
I would also suggest getting a proper fitting for a good bra.
I have not done this but I know others have. I was at a wedding where a lot of the women attending had multiple children or had very recently had babies. They were all wearing those very elastic high pants. I think there is a lot to be said for good underwear.
Hope you get a dress you feel comfortable in

AnyoneButAnton · 16/04/2019 23:25

Please do. And get a bra fitting. I think dress 2 would have been transformed by the right bra and the silver lace one would probably benefit as well.

Pinkarsedfly · 16/04/2019 23:25

Thank you Crafting1Queen that’s a very kind message.

You’re all lovely.

OP posts:
Crafting1Queen · 16/04/2019 23:25

Sorry OP, cut and pasted your original comment to address the points, and forgot to delete the last line in my post - you definitely don't look heinous!!!

Notgoodatchoosingnames · 16/04/2019 23:26

My fave so far on you was number 2.
But loved some of the others suggestions, especially the 2 monsoon floaty ones (birdy one and flowers?) Please order them!!!
You look fab by the way and will knock your DPs socks off in whatever dress you choose x

Pinkarsedfly · 16/04/2019 23:26

No worries, Crafting Smile

OP posts:
Whoops75 · 16/04/2019 23:27

I think your choosing styles you like rather than what flatters you.

I wouldn’t go for floaty , try something with some structure. A boat or cowl neck fitted at the waste and a bias cut to the knee is what I see you in.

I’ll look x