School Food Tech and providing DSD's food - a trivial matter?

[zazas]

Strange dilemma here. My DSD now has GSCE Food Tech on the day after we have her during the week. She finds out what ingredients she requires on the Tuesday afternoon for the Thursday lesson. She is with us Wednesday night every week. So DH's ex has asked DSD to send us the list Tues night/Wed am so we can buy the ingredients for her. The problem being is that obviously the cooked food and dishes go back to DSD house on Thursday! They are designed to be meals for 4 and can involve quite a list of ingredients and costs (going on previous years food tech requirements). Do you think that this is reasonable - basically that we buy ex's family dinner every week?

I could understand if there is no other way for DSD to get her ingredients but ex works in town close to us and could quite easy pop out to buy the ingredients (she has flexible working hours) and drop into our work - which we could take home that night for DSD.

Or am I just being 'mean' - although having my cooking dishes and containers for the food head off to school and not to return is another story!

Thoughts?

YABU . If its anything like what my DDs brought home from school, most of it will go in the bin anyway.

In the grand scheme of things is it going to break the bank? Is it going to make life hard for you? For DSD?
Just buy the ingredients.
Life is too short.

Ha ha - no my DSD is quite a talent in the kitchen and it is GCSE level - it will be good - probably very!

Of course LemonPied - that is kinda of how I am hoping to look at it. But we have 5 kids and demanding jobs and sometimes even the smallest thing (to others) gets taken out of proportion in our lives. That is why I am happy to get Mumsnet perspective!

Sorry I meant perspective or something along those line - tired with a DH leaving at 2.30am to catch a flight!

But if it helps make family feelings easier, more convivial, less hassle then in my eyes it's worth it :) It's not a big sum of money, it's what, a fiver a week?
Yeah it adds up over time, maybe ask her mum to supply some cash, ingredients, a Tupperware once in a while?
I've spent money in DSD and not seen whatever it is again, it's not masses of cash (I don't have masses of cash!) but I'm very lucky when it comes to DSD and her family, as things are pretty easy between us all most of the time :) xx

It would bug me to be buying my ex's dinner, that's for sure! Surely there's a fairer way.

You must be having a laugh surely...

Why not look at it as your DSD's father contributing towards his daughters costs as opposed to buying his ex-partners dinner. But it still must be one of the most ridiculous moans I have read on here. If it is for GSCE give her the fiver and send her to the shop herself. No adult needs to be involved.

Why not suggest you take turns at paying it? One week your household, the next her mum gives her the cash. And ask your DSD to return your tupperwares to you!

would it be an option to have DSD for dinner on the Thursday evening or even to stay again that night? make it out like you all cant wait to taste what she has made? or even alternate one thursay dinner at yours and one at her mum's?

I know it's a trivial moan (as in title) but as usual there is always more to it! In year 9 and the very odd time DSD brought something to ours from food tech that her mum had provided, she made sure we knew all about it! Plus even DSD said "its not really fair that you have to provide all the ingredients and don't even get to eat it!" Let's just take this as a little moan, an off my chest moment as the reality is 'for a 'peaceful' life' just for me to get on and provide the ingredients for the next 2 years ;) Having said that, if the shoe was on the other foot and all that!

Can see why that might be annoying but no idea why a 15 16 year old can't go shopping on her own?? Mum needs to give her the money Wednesday morning so dsd can shop on the way home from school ready to take on the Thursday

My dsc weren't "allowed" to tell us their ingredients until they arrived with us and were needed the next day. Like you, we had 5 kids, both worked and we also lived 5 miles from the nearest shop.

Grrr.

To be honest, though, I'd just do it. The end result won't necessarily be edible! Make sure your containers come back though!

Hampsterdam we live in the country! No shops between school and home nor none to walk to. Otherwise that would be the best solution.

Hmm seems you will just have to suck it up then as annoying as that might be, make sure you get your dishes back.

Yabvu
This is for your dsd. Not her mum. And if you have a good relationship then just let it go.
I appreciate when you're in a situation it can be hard to see clearly. I think this is one of those cases. Take care

OK RANT MODE FIRMLY ON. Dsd is taking GCSE Food Tech? If she is in year 11 she will be planning what she needs to trial and cook during the practical lessons. The key word here is planning. If she is in year 10 and explains to the Tech department the problem of living in 2 different houses they should accommodate her needs if money is forthcoming 24 hours, at least, before the practical lesson. I am a DT teacher, my specialism is not Food Tech, but have to teach it every so often. The reason I dislike some of the aspects of the subject are: students not communicating about problems such as this, which could easily be overcome, students not bringing in ingredients because 'they don't like it', students who just can't be bothered. In my school we never ask students to provide ingredients for more than one portion, and never enough to feed a family. Our students are free to eat their dishes for break or lunch or indeed to take them home.

I could add a lot more RAGE but I expect you are rather bored already.

Yes I know luckymum it's for DSD BUT her mum could also go into the same shops as I will and buy her DD the ingredients at the same time I will, except she will get dinner the next night and her containers back! Put it this way, if DSD cooked on the Wednesday insteadvand brought the cooked food home to us. I would buy the ingredients for DSD and get my DS to give them to DSD that morning (they are at same school) because I would think that's fair!

But I feel better for discussing it and will sort the food out of course

I think this is one of those occasions where you just have to 'suck it up' as you can't risk your SD not having the ingredients she needs in her GCSE year. It's you SD's responsibility to bring the tubs back though.

DSD's mum COULD have bought her wellies, but she didn't.
She COULD have sent her with a scarf, but she didn't.

Just buy the bloody food! Suck it up!

elephantoverthehill - I am sure there are many problems that we are not aware of! The food prepared at the DC school are definitely at least 4 portions - pies, stews, curries and they always ask for 4 breasts of chicken, 4 fillets of fish etc.

3cheekylittlemonkeys - that will be a minor miracle (that is getting the dishes back!) Nothing and I mean nothing has ever come back unless asked for - not for any reason of being unreasonable but because ex is very disorganised and not great at thinking about thing like this...I wouldn't expect DSD to bring them back into school and pass on to her step sister or brother as the last thing the kid needs (or mine for that matter) is a bag of containers to lug around. We will probably gather them up every six weeks when we gather up all the things that have ended up in the 'wrong' place! Actually I should probably 'invest' in some disposable containers and oven dishes to make it easier for all! She will love to show me what she has learnt - we often cook/bake together.

Lemonpied - her mum could also have bought her bras that fit but she didn't :)
I will buy the food!!!