Share your dog's CV - chance to win £300! NOW CLOSED

[AnnMumsnet]

The team at Pedigree know that dogs have loads of very special talents so they'd love to hear what sort of job your dog would be best at, and what skills, experience and "qualifications" your pooch has for this job! For example, they might be a great counsellor because they are an excellent listener or maybe they would be a great personal trainer because they’re a great motivator when it comes to taking a walk.

Feel free to include your doggy photos to support their job applications.

Please share your dog's CV highlights and key skills on this thread and you will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 voucher for the store of their choice (from a list).

Pedigree® have worked with the Waltham® Centre for Pet Nutrition to build some simple and clear information on how to care for your dog – from information on diet and dental care, to tips and tricks for training. Find out more here

Thanks and good luck

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2 dogs 1 CV

Comedic wag timing professional 2008 to present
Body paint artist (preferred medium: fox faeces) 2008 to present
Mental health support worker (specialist field: Nuzzling) 2010 to present
Crumb cleaner upper 2011 to present
Postman guard 2011 to present
Poo disposal ninja 2011 to present (yes... She eats it)
Sock taker offer officer 2012 to present
Next catalogue model 2014
Human early years entertainers 2014 to present

Cheekydog1: Finder-in-chief of THE most annoying place to be standing . "Pointless" time alarm. Empty water bowl monitor.

Cheekydog 2: Parkrun-hill-getter-upper. Dog vest model. Tail acts as a proximity Geiger-counter.

Name: Indiana Bones
Age: 2 years old
Location: Kent

School: Graduated puppy school with honours. Hoping to attend agility courses.

Interests: Cuddles, breakfast, beard licking, dropped food, lunch, walkies, dinner

Special skills: The ability to race to dropped food within seconds. Also the ability to turn one blanket into 2 or 3 smaller ones with added air holes.

Looking for part time work as I do love a good sleep in the sunshine.

Minnie Purple Dog
Age 3
Black Pug
Rescued at age 2
Time with present forever owner 15 months

Qualifications
Being very cute
Barking at everything in the garden: leaves, birds, bees, aeroplanes, clouds .... But especially squirrels
Running at top speed everywhere
Jumping, especially on Midi Purple Boy (MPB) when he lies on the floor. Particularly that area that makes him squeal in a squeaky voice and double over
Giving cuddles to above boy so he starts smiling again
Snoring even when I am awake
Did I mention being very cute already?
Mostly though I am qualified in making MPB happy again after a terribly traumatic year

Hobbies
Pretending to be a vacuum cleaner and sweeping every scrap of food from any floor, table, cupboard that I can reach. Walks, especially those where I can roll in fox poop, jump in puddles or play with other dogs.

References
My doggy mum. I can do no wrong.

Here I am

NAME: Buster
BREED: Border Collie
AGE: 4
SKILLS: Being able to run round and play with my children for hours. He's also a good listener and very sensitive to human emotions so he's perfect for cuddles whenever you feel down and he will often come to comfort you when he senses you are down or upset. He's as daft as a brush and so loyal. We rescued him from Ireland and despite everything the poor boy has been through, he's such a good boy and loves playing with the kids.

Minnie purple dog is totes adorable!

Name: Eric aka Bloody Hound, Poodle Doodle and Baby
Age 2.5 years
Location: East Midlands

Achievements to date.
Qualified in pebble dashing after repeatedly rolling in fox muck and then gravel at every given opportunity..
A wide and varied palette with horse manure, well rotted dead pigeon and dirty socks a speciality.
Although not a sheepdog has an instinctive ability to herd his minions should they think of stepping out of line on his chosen routes.
Altruistic interest in preserving hedgehogs considering it vital that he pees on every one he encounters.

Special Skills

Impressive ability to climb so scales stiles eight foot high in the Peak District whilst simultaneously giving disparaging looks to dogs who go through the gates. Also demonstrates this skill by making circuits of his owner's home without ever touching the floor and despite being just nine inches tall clears the four foot gate from standing.
Able to identify any passer by who might have a treat on them by demonstrating impeccable good manners by sitting, offering first a paw and then his tummy in order to extract said treat. Others he believes to be treat free are blatantly ignored.
Psychic powers when it comes to delivery men and the postman positioning himself at the door seconds before they set foot on the path.

Suggested Roles

Scaffolder, restaurant critic, Fortune teller or from his photo England footballer

Name: Speedie
Description: female black and white spaniel cross
Lived at current address: 3 years
Previous address: rescue centre having been found as an injured stray puppy in the road

Skills: climbing, tunnelling, running long distances to find friends
Experience: multiple escapes from garden, many great friendships
Qualifications: runner up award in waggiest tail competition 2014

Seeking employment with mountain rescue teams, cave rescue teams, or any other rescue teams that offer adventures and free biscuits.

Name-Juno
Breed-Mostly Collie (who knows what else)
Age-4 ( I've been with my owners since puppyhood so my behaviour is all clearly their fault)
Skills-Pogoing in front of people till they acknowledge my presence.
Walking right behind people's heels so if they step back, they trip over me.
Barking if anyone comes to the door and grumbling if they walk past on the opposite side of the road.
Nudging people with my nose, until they find they are stroking me (even if they didn't intend to).
Hoovering up dropped food. Particularly grated cheese.
Being so excited when people visit I get banished to the kitchen.
Ninja skills at sneaking on to the sofa I am banned from, as I don't want to sit on the ( big 3 seater) sofa with my friend. I can do this in the few minutes it takes my owners to nip upstairs to the loo and then run back to my own bed, therefore fooling them into believing I've been there all along (nearly).
Begging, while pointedly not looking at any food or the person holding it.
Making with the big sad eyes.

Name: Kublai
Breed: Ummmm. Dunno. Some sighthound there somewhere.
Stand out skills: Repurposing food. Doing 180' turns while running really fast. Catching flies.

Personal interests: Food. Rolling in fox poo.

I'm looking for a role where my relaxed attitude to life can come to the fore. I'm a real people person, finding friends wherever I go and I love spending time with them.

I think I would make an excellent maitre de, or pub host where I could make my way round the tables guests, and ensure that they don't have any food left are enjoying themselves

Name: Betsy
Breed: Golden retriever
Age: 3
Skills: Slipper hiding, tunnelling, snuggling and ball fetching
Previous roles: personal trainer, negotiator, bouncer, butler
Seeks employment as a dog bed tester or model for dog food adverts.

Excellent foot warmer due to cuddling up on your feet and refusing to move. Has the opposite effect to that of motivator for exercise as does not want to move once you are settled.

Name : Ozymandias (but call me Oz as I can't remember my full name)
Breed : Pointy
Core Skills : Sleeping, sofa yoga, pretending i'm asleep on the sofa when people want me to move, zoomies, Leaning on people to show them I am pleased to see them

Best Jobs : Bed tester, care home dog, 100m sprint coach

Wispa Christmas, Standard Labradoodle

Skills:
-Excellent with children
-Speaks fluent dog, conversational in fox and toddler
-Exceptional licking abilities
-Master of the art of 'liquid dog' cuddling

Education:
-2 courses in doggie behaviour

Experience:
-Avid walker for 4 years, enjoying daily runs in fields and woodland
-Personal alarm clock for two humans
-Post-run leg licker for 4 years
-Primary care giver for 2-year old toddler
-Food taster, ensuring the safety of all food stuffs consumed within the household

Name - Alba
Breed - patterdale
Age - 10 weeks

Skills -
Peeing everywhere
Biting everything
Looking cute so I get away with it

BigDog

Skills
Laid back temperament
Exceptional bladder control - this is especially strong on rainy days. My record is 4.30pm
Cat washer

I'm easy going and get one with everyone, I do require long rest periods. As an added bonus I shed so much fur if I don't provide satisfaction you could always knit a spare dog.

SmallDog
Skills
Always alert
Think I am a big dog who somehow got trapped in a small body
Soulful gaze
Stealth food acquisition

I'm a bundle of energy looking for a job where I get paid a lot of attention - due to my extreme cuteness this should be easy to attract. As an added bonus I'm willing to act as a food disposal unit.

A labrador who can sneak onto your lap without you realising.
The best full body wag. It's like watching a hairy snake.
Will play with children for hours. This includes being put in fancy dress.
Can convince you she's not been fed by using a face worthy of Dogs Trust adverts.
Looked after us all when her big brother was pts.

The Bailey Boy,

Special qualities - gardening ... Or rather, picking up various bits of the garden in his gorgeous mane of hair!

Megan the Welsh Springer Spaniel

Special qualities - helping her humans with procrastinating. Megan loves cuddles and who could resist this adorable face?

Name: NooNoo
Age: 12
Breed: Griffon Mix
Born: Spain
Education: School of hard knocks. She came to us from the local dog home; very scared, covered in flees and ticks and petrified of people. She spent the first week with us hiding under the spare bed, only venturing out to eat when we were in bed. She trusted no one.

Skills:

• costing lots of money at the vets: her list of ailments is huge. I now consider the vet to be a personal friend
• sleeping: oh boy can she sleep although the pain killers may be responsible for some of that
• sniffing: in her youth, whilst running she would stop to smell something interesting and she would end up doing a forward roll
• giving cuddles: even though she is absolutely not allowed in the bed, somehow every morning I find her under the covers spooning me
• making friends: when we are out for a walk people stop and comment on how pretty she is
• looking good: see above
• fighting with the cat: like cat and dog funnily enough
• eating: she is a food thief nuff said

I was very sad when NooNoo came into my life. she pulled me out of a big black hole and I loves her. She had such a sad start to her life. I hope her time with me (cause she is still very much my dog) has in some way compensated for that difficult beginning.

NooNoo would make a good thief. She could nick any food left lying around by unsuspecting victims!

Name: Blossom

Qualifications: None at all

Experience:
Aug 2013- June 2015: Abused as a puppy-farm breeding bitch, learned to be resilient and strong
July 2015- March 2016: Lived in RSPCA kennels and foster home, learned to be a proper dog
March 2016- present: Living in forever home, learning to be the dog I was always meant to be

Skills:
Given my hard start in life, I am resilient and strong. It has been an up-hill challenge but I have learned many new and important life skills such as walking on a lead, wearing a collar, playing with toys and house-training. I am a very good manipulator and have honed a pose and expression which makes humans do exactly what I want at all times.

Key Attributes:
Walk beautifully on lead
Love people
Love dogs
Always happy
Pick up routines very quickly
Can always find food
Can destroy paperwork in a very short timeframe

I am seeking to improve my skills in recall and house-training

References available on request

Name: Django
Age: 4
Breed: Part collie, part lab, mostly imbecile.

Education; Homeschooled 2011- present
Qualifications:
Verbal Commands 3/10 (will sit, give paw and say please for food, Will not sit and stay, ever)
Appropriate Barking 8/10 (goes off like a pressed doorbell for visitors, loses points for not actually barking but squealing.)
Inappropriate Barking 9/10 (If there's nothing worth barking at, he doesn't bother, can be left without pissing the neighbours off)
Walking On Lead 0/10 (was obviously a sled dog in a former life)
Off Lead Behaviour 0/10 (possibly an escaped convict in a former life, disappears in a flash and requires a manhunt to recapture).

Skills: Bin Emptying; can extract every tin and packet from the kitchen bin in a matter of minutes. Has successfully emptied bins of varying sizes and shapes.
Sofa Warming; is able to warm two thirds of a sofa by strategic stretching.
Bipedal Bouncing; has perfected the art of standing on his back legs and bouncing, usually couples this with ...
Extended Vocalisations; squealing, shrieking and a marvellous range of excited noises. Is happy to demonstrate these skills to every other dog he sees.
Parkour; is adept at doing the 'wall of death' around the house, executing sofa, chair and bed jumps with ease.
Ninja Food Disposal; can sneakily remove leftovers from a variety of places without being seen.

Hobbies And Interests
Sleeping; especially fond of contorting himself into uncomfortable looking positions but shifting the moment you get a camera.
Window Gazing, loves to stand on his back legs and stare out of the window.
Cat bothering, checks the cat over every time she returns from the wild,
Pretending to be a tripod; usually stands with a front paw raised so he looks like a pointer, sometimes stands with back leg raised so he looks like an idiot.
Begging, will happily do this at every meal or snack.

Suggested Roles; Django would make an excellent chugger, utilising his skills of attracting attention with squealing and his advanced begging techniques.

Bailey's hair is amazing What breed is he? Can I suggest he'd be a great model for Vidal Sassoon or maybe he could replace Cheryl Versini wotsit on the "because I'm worth it" ads.