Share your dog's CV - chance to win £300! NOW CLOSED

[AnnMumsnet]

The team at Pedigree know that dogs have loads of very special talents so they'd love to hear what sort of job your dog would be best at, and what skills, experience and "qualifications" your pooch has for this job! For example, they might be a great counsellor because they are an excellent listener or maybe they would be a great personal trainer because they’re a great motivator when it comes to taking a walk.

Feel free to include your doggy photos to support their job applications.

Please share your dog's CV highlights and key skills on this thread and you will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 voucher for the store of their choice (from a list).

Pedigree® have worked with the Waltham® Centre for Pet Nutrition to build some simple and clear information on how to care for your dog – from information on diet and dental care, to tips and tricks for training. Find out more here

Thanks and good luck

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Name: Kim

Age:4

Present Occupation (2015-present): House dog
Role: To give full body hugs to all members of family using front feet as arms and standing on back legs. To greet all visitors in this way too whether they like it or not. Finding the ball, chasing the ball, getting you to find the ball and throw the ball. Leaping the back wall and making self fragrant in dung heap. Hiding under the trampoline. Learning new things all the time and spending as much time as doggily possible with neighbour dogs.

Previous role: Unsure. Folks keep telling people I'm a 'failed sheepdog' but I think I was pretty good. humph Wasn't treated too nicely, am much enjoying my new role instead.

German short haired pointer

Skill Set - pointing at fowl or animals

Mastiff cross.
Age: 7
Interests: sleeping, human food, destroying footballs in 10 seconds flat.
Special skill: farting a real stinker just as my family sit down for tea, in order to put them off their food so that I can eat it instead.

Name: The Dog Sta'
Age 6 ish
Nationality: Tibetan
Breed : Possibly Lhasa Apso
Past Experience: Not great, Lived with elderly lady who never let me outside, learned to use a litter tray and became adept at entertaining myself with commonly found household objects.
Current experience:
Personal trainer: Leads owner on keep fit walks 3xdaily.
Wonder Counsellor: I have the softest most healing ears.
Protection of owner from all threats, (including owners DH and DC if they sit too close to her).
Protection of owners cat from all other neighbourhood cats.
Pest control (snails/caterpillars and pigeons dealt with orally).
Referee (I am able to control rowdy teenagers)
Burglar alarm
Waste disposal
I am seeking a part time opportunity as a philosopher/thinker
or possibly an archaeologist/grave digger as I have recent experience of both digging up and burying bones!

Name: Poppy
Age: 3
Breed: Cocker Spaniel

Educational History: Home schooling with some private tutoring to master confidence in handling the really scary things in life like people, bikes, trees, shadows, a dog barking 30 miles away... excellent progress made. Is currently studying the advanced skills of 'stay' and 'stop barking like a lunatic'.

Performance art skills: advanced stunt dog in sitting, spinning, saying 'please' (laying down with head on floor between paws), high fiving, high tenning, begging and dancing on hind legs.
Dramatic improvisation and mime skills include: singing opera with impressive range when owner goes into a shop or comes downstairs in the morning and doing Sad Dog following a bath until owner is practically in tears and hand feeding chicken.
Art skills: include water painting on the kitchen floor around her water bowl, and pawmade printing on all fabrics within reach, thighs a speciality.

Work related skills: Poppy is a wellbeing expert who has a tirelessly upbeat and positive attitude towards life, and has a can-do approach with enthusiastic consent to every challenge the day offers. She will shout a delighted yes and race ahead of you if asked to help to make a cup of tea or come to find clean socks.
She has a highly trained nose that can find treats hidden all over the house. She currently works as park tidier (three years experience) where on a daily basis she ensures the grass is kept clear and pristine by ensuring squirrels, pigeons, crows and seagulls go back up trees where they belong. She equally keeps her family's home organised by putting away her toys on request and removing her owner's socks to places of safety such as her basket at every opportunity.
Poppy is highly skilled in the field of holistic cuddling and snuggling and will deliver a snuggle of the highest quality to anyone sharing the sofa with her.

Communication skills:

Extensive: from operatic howling to support situations of extreme excitement or concern (such as being on the wrong side of a door) to alert barking if anything moves within a six mile radius. Postmen a speciality. Poppy is also skilled in a range of more subtle communications such as huffing and sighing if her favourite chair is occupied by a thoughtless human, grumbling under her breath about things she intends to write to The Times about including the dog next door, and intense stares with large eyes to encourage reciprocal communication from humans, such as 'are you hungry?' or providing a lap to sit on.

Reliability: total. Poppy lives to be involved in whatever is going on, preferably at high speed, with great enthusiasm. Nothing ever gets this girl down. All weathers joyfully embraced at all times. All people in the vicinity joyfully embraced too.

Preferred fields of employment: Poppy's special skills would be ideal for her dream career of squirrel herding and woodland management.

Name:Hullygully
Qualifications: Bronze Award that was frankly miraculous.
Previous employment: was a cute and winsome looking rescue. Learned to entice naive humans into donating large sums of cash to take me away.
Current employment: I main and harass a family of four. I challenge their perception of day to day life by sleeping on the dining room table, blocking doorways. I am a competent and able trip hazard. I also maintain a painstaking shedding regime and am a competent consumer of all foods. In short I am wholly essential to day to day life.
Hobbies: barking, sunbathing, rolling in strange smells and getting stained dubious colours, my favourite being claret. Obtained by tripping anyone holding a glass of the stuff.

Name: Marjorie Muggins
Ethnicity: Terrier
Age: Old enough to know better
Education: Passed out of dog training class bottom of the class
Skills - Teamwork with cat - ridding garden of all visiting wildlife and other cats
Communication - Informing entire neighbourhood of postman's progress as he walks down the street every day (but failing to inform household of burglar loitering in the garden)
Hobbies - barking at gusts of wind, sparrows tweeting, neighbours opening doors and the dog who appears in the pond on a sunny day.

Name: Bella

Breed: Chi x jrt

Age: 18 months.

Special skills: warding off the neighbours, visitors and any deliveries by jumping up on the back of the chair and yapping menacingly in the hope they'll go away. Any that make it through the door are immediately licked and snuggled into submission.

Likes to find a patch of sun and sleep in it all day if no laps are available. Will stay asleep on a lap for as long as you don't need to move. 

  Has a very refined palate; turns her nose up at most brands of dog food but will happily eat leftovers and the cat's victims. 

  Will walk for hours but is also quite happy with a trot round the block. Will not go out in the rain. 

Preferred role: tiny guard dog, mental health counsellor, food taster.

Reuben, 3 year old yorkie.

Accomplished food scrap clearer, professional warning sound maker when the postman is on his way, can show empathy and compassion with his soulful brown eyes and a meaningful lick on the hand.
Slightly terrified of seagulls but thinks he is bigger and better than all other dogs apart from his bestie Roman who is half Chihuahua half Jack Russell and therefore the same size.
Likes bike riding (in the basket), running on the beach and sleeping in the sun.

Suggested role - he could usefully be employed as a doorman, advising the employees within the building that the postman is on his way.

Sam The Dale - Everyone refers to as ‘The Boss’

Current Employment : June 2005 to present

Age- 11 and counting.

CEO of household

Main duties involve:

Bird ‘catcher’
Animal Scarer ( no animals are ever found therefore none in danger)
Seeking out and destroying any and all chocolate preferably before subordinates are able to eat it.
Keeping up the medical bills
Pleasing ones self
Remote control hoarder and burier
Unwrapping subordinates christmas presents before December 25th
Ensuring no ball games can take place in MY garden

Special Skills:

Lock picker ( garden gates have to be padlocked as bolts are my speciality )
Unzipping handbags ( see above chocolate seeking duties)
Sweep and search technique used on countertops but also where needed.
Cricket bat and balls taster
Consuming what some puny humans might consider the ‘inedible’( bottom step, feet and socks, highchair, cuddly toys)
Shoe warden- slippers and designers shoes inclusive.
Explorer ( See above lock picker duties)
Professional Fugitive ( see above lock picker duties)
Bobble remover (as favour to subordinates)
Cheese hunter - leave no survivors so I wont be caught.

I would welcome further training in the following areas:
Recall
Having a bath
Swimming
Obedience
Sharing

References:

My local vets and specialist hospital in Birmingham ( The Willows)

Groomer ( Maintenance required to tame the mane on a regular basis)

Post Man ( welcome visiter , see above skill of consuming inedible)

Name Jack
Age 5 and 2 months
Location Kent
Phone number: only by text as I ate daddy's phone and the speaker was very tasty.

Education Dogwarts, speciality hiding things from my little brother. Passed with honours
Shi**ing on demand when mum and dad leave me. Passed with honours.

Pastimes. Barking at anyone who walks past the house, eating contests, spending time with nanny and grandad, running away at the park.

Past jobs: security guard reason left I was fired because I kissed the nice men who come to my house when mummy and daddy was out
Chief snorer. Current role. I can keep the whole house up but I don't see why they can't sleep i can very easy.
Body guard for mummy. Current role. I keep an eye on my mummy when she isn't feeling very well and I make sure she doesn't faint when on the toilet, I also stop anyone including daddy kissing mummy.

References
Nanny and Grandad

doggy long legs
4 years old

Proud owner of a first place scruffiest dog award and determined to live up to this. The smellier the better.

Enthusiastic if not always fully committed as prone to having the attention span of a gnat. Would love to be a food tester in a human food establishment as prefers everyone elses food to his own. Loves everyone he meets and does not discriminate based on the number of legs you have, everyone and everything is a new friend. This however may not apply if you have feathers.

Has a great enthusiasm for life which has everyone thinking he is still a pup. He would perhaps be good for work with children outdoors at an adventure centre (as long as supervised by someone more sensible so he doesn't decide to take them all wild swimming in the middle of the night).

Name: Nellie (aka The Gremlin)
Age: 9
Breed: Patterdale Terrier

Qualifications: Expert in looking adorable, snarling, growling, snapping, being cranky and grumpy and making perpetual noise
Experience: multiple vet visits owing to spinal problem, proficient in muzzle avoidance, incapacitation of vets and nurses, bad reactions to medications, provoking other dogs to attack me by being generally vile and disagreeable
Social skills: none whatsoever
Likes: savaging objects and warm blooded mammals, shouting, squealing, running, zooming, snarling
Dislikes: strange people, strange dogs, eye contact, being touched, the sound of wind, fizzy fireworks, everything
Needs: to be loved and protected and understood until my spine gives out for good

Cassie
Sheltie- pedigree....though I was the last of the litter....moving swiftly onwards.
Age- not disclosing

Interests
Lying at the top of the stairs #alpha
Rounding up stragglers

Talents
Maintaining excellent hygeine by utilising sloping grassy areas.
Creating a 'cosy' atmosphere by enriching the carpet with extra fur.
Extreme agility when chasing water from a hose.
Barking- elderly relatives refer to as a good 'tenter'.

Name Ronnie Dog
Date of Birth 9/9/14

Education
Completed 2 weeks of puppy school, before deciding I was better suited to homeschooling.
Further education ongoing!

Skills & Qualities
I'm very keen and enthusiastic at hunting for buried treasure, although have yet to locate any.
I love working outdoors - unless it's raining.
Expert at hiding things.

Qualifications
Second place in 'friendliest dog' contest at a fun dog show in June.

Ideal Job
I feel I'm best suited to working in the field of digging and sleeping, and would ideally be paid in biscuits.
Although I have some experience in the security field, a nasty experience with a really scary cat means I'm better suited to working with people rather than felines.

When does this competition close?

Vocal specialist (2013 - present)
Is able to bark at great volume for extended periods. Has a knack for sensing the most appropriate moment to showcase this talent, e.g. while his human is on the phone to the bank.

Hand model (2015 - 2016)
While being taught 'paw' as a way of earning treats, Archie learned that he can offer a paw without being asked for it as a way of begging for anything he wants, including literally anything his human eats.

Hobbies and interests
Squaring up to dogs four times his size for no reason; hearing a food packet rustling from three rooms away; guarding the house from the scary Virgin Media engineer; relieving expensive hair straighteners from their plugs; weeding out the nasty, healthy snacks from his human's lunch.

Weak points
Though allegedly a rodent hunting breed, Archie is terrified to the point of whimpers of the local hamster. Further training would be required to reach full potential in this area.

Name - Dicky Oddball

Breed - Pug x Jack Russell

Age - One year

Current occupation - Entertainer and Comedian.

Statistics - Face only a mother could love, short, fat and hairy.

Experience - Whether there is an audience or not Dicky is the consulate professional in entertainment and comedic activity! Dicky delights in charging along like an unstoppable steam train and will often find himself out of his depth in mud, rivers and the sea! Many times he is to be found covered in muck and dirt, his face gurning with happiness as he propels himself towards you. His face lights up when he sees children and he always makes a bee line for them knowing that they will be just as delighted to see him. Whether it be rolling around on the floor or chasing a ball, Dicky's good natured personality and permanent fun attitude amuse everyone wherever he goes.

Dicky has fantastic social skills and will charm the largest dog and the most hard hearted of people, he is very obedient and at home he is very affectionate and is part of a trio of three wonderful dogs.

Name - Rex

Age - One year and three months.

Breed - Whippet.

Current Occupation - Athlete and Fitness Fanatic.

Statistics - Gentle loving face, streamlined body with minimum body fat, blue fawn brindle silky coat.

Experience - Rex likes to keep himself in tip top condition. He is very active and trains vigorously every day to keep himself in shape. He loves to fetch a ball and will run and zoom endlessly either by himself or with his friends. He makes exercise a fun thing and will pounce on leaves and gaily skip's around. His bewitching looks get him lots of admirers.

Rex understands the importance of diet and will eat anything and is fortunate that his physical prowess allow him to eat anything and his great love are licking the inside of a yoghurt pot and any left overs at home are quickly demolished by him!

Sleep is very important to Rex and he when he isn't on full throttle zooming around he will sleep for hours on end, often with a big grin on his face, dreaming of his exploits.

His good looks haven't gone to his head and he is very affection, loyal and loving at home. Rex is part of a trio of three wonderful dogs.

Name - Wally

Breed - Whippet x Greyhound

Age - Two years and two months

Current occupation - Secret Agent James Bond style.

Statistics - Very handsome, suave, tall and black and white tuxedo with distinctive and unique white arrow on his back.

Experience - Wally is an enigma. One moment he is all action man, leaping from rock to rock up a mountain or leaping into rivers and the next he is quietly snooting his magnificent schnozzle in the undergrowth, keenly examining and scents left behind. He will befriend every dog he meets as he is a lover not a fighter and fearful nervous dogs become at ease and aggressive dogs become calm and playful in his company.

One moment he is gregarious and making friends with every human and dog he meets and the next he has meandered off to sniff the air and quietly reflect on the natural world around him!

At home he is the 'Daddy' of Rex and Dicky the two other dogs that make up a wonderful trio. Every morning, Wally inspects them and washes their faces, ears and bits so that they are in the same clean and tidy condition that he grooms himself in!

To his human family, Wally is the most adoring and affectionate dog imaginable. His default position is in your arms, his romantic gaze upon you and his long body either entwined around you or stretched out in contentment.

Name: Dexter aka Dexter-Boogie or Dexty Boo Boo

Age: 1 year

Skills: Excellent comforting skills including giving the best cuddles and kisses and perfecting sympathetic sad eyes.

Ability to hide in small, secretive spaces.

Drops the side eye at exactly the right second, sneaky so and so!

Can dig any surface and always manages to find a hiding space for his treats.

Has THE loudest bark to back up his 'little dog syndrome', has the ability to instill fear in all even though he is completely harmless.

Experience: Dexter has spent the first year of his life improving mine and DP's following some very sad life events that at times felt impossible to overcome. He has amused us with his boisterous personality and showered us with love and loyalty.

Our dog would make a great secret agent with his ability to hide himself and his things and a scary loud bark that would scare anyone off in an instance (before they get chance to see him).

Hiding...

Name Murphy

Age 2 and a half

Breed Scottish Terrier (or Scottish Terror as Mum calls me).

Skills I have many talents from the ability to hear the opening of a crisp packet at 100 yards to keeping the garden free from cats, birds and anything else that tries to stray into my territory.

Current Occupation My family have this weird habit of dressing up like Star Wars characters at weekends and raising money for charities with their 'Garrison' whatever one of those is. Of course, I do not wan't to be upstaged by a hooman so I am also a crack X Wing pilot in my spare time where I save the Galaxy from the Imperial forces.

Career Progression I see myself as heading up the rebel legion before my 5th birthday and world domination somewhere before my 8th,

Salary 1 jumbone per week, a gravy bone morning and evening and a dentastick per day.

Chief floor (and baby) cleaner

I couldn't have faced a weaning baby without her!

English toy terrier

Thinks he's a big dog

Loves visiting dog friendly pubs and restaurants

Walking on the beach

Sleeping