Share your dog's CV - chance to win £300! NOW CLOSED

[AnnMumsnet]

The team at Pedigree know that dogs have loads of very special talents so they'd love to hear what sort of job your dog would be best at, and what skills, experience and "qualifications" your pooch has for this job! For example, they might be a great counsellor because they are an excellent listener or maybe they would be a great personal trainer because they’re a great motivator when it comes to taking a walk.

Feel free to include your doggy photos to support their job applications.

Please share your dog's CV highlights and key skills on this thread and you will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 voucher for the store of their choice (from a list).

Pedigree® have worked with the Waltham® Centre for Pet Nutrition to build some simple and clear information on how to care for your dog – from information on diet and dental care, to tips and tricks for training. Find out more here

Thanks and good luck

Standard Insight T&Cs apply

[desertmum]

Name: Benjamin Button aka Ben - that's me in the middle pet sitting

Age : 7'ish, precise DOB unknown as rescued from the side of the road in Cyprus

Breed : Golden Retriever

I am the perfect cat cushion and pet sitter. Laid back, relaxed, everyone's friend, Ben is the perfect addition to any family, be they animal or human.

Skills: I love to swim and can swim for hours in the pool, lakes, rivers, the sea or, a special treat, a muddy puddle. I can eat anything and regularly do. Yummy, dog friendly, stinky, dog un-friendly I will eat it all with great gusto. This often has rather disastrous results and a trip to the V.E.T. I am a dog who loves with all my heart and wag my tail with my whole body.

Every home needs one of me.

[Wordsaremything]

Fabulous photo, desermum

[Wordsaremything]

Desertmum, sorry!

[JammyDodger1]

Name - Bluebelle Rebecca - Daily name Belle.

Age - nearly 3.

Communication - Inter departmental relations are well established, however I do know my place, and can communicate when required, and when not.


Speciality skills - Meet and greet, as you can see, I like to greet guests, delivery people and anyone who may pass with a head surging bright Hello which has been such enjoyment and thankfully no heart attacks

I've also been know to be the office prankster to lighten the mood on a difficult day, whilst putting every effort into my working schedule.

I would sincerely like to be considered for this post and feel I could bring a great deal to the party.

[stopfightingandtidyupthismess]

Little Stop, also known as "the Pestie"

I am a 6 and a half year old westie/poodle cross.

Skills:

Excellent alarm system/mummy bodyguard: Loud and persistant yapping with a total inability to differentiate between someone walking up the drive and someone walking on the other side of the road. Or a butterfly passing the window. Goes off duty when dh comes home.

Mice and bird catcher: finds them while out and in the house. Also cleans up after the cat

Hoover checker: snaps at the Hoover nozzle and gets surprised when it sucks her breath away

Kitchen floor cleaner: redistributes her drinking water all over the floor. Someone mops it dry. Clean floor! (Note: I do clean it properly occasionally too!)

A great catch: Accurately catches tidbits of food thrown for her

Excellent water storage facility: is able to hold (what seems like) ten litres of wee but stops every twenty yards to piddle a puddle.

Poo bag reducer: can't poo in just one place, must have two separate turd stops a maximum of 100 yards apart, usually with a bin in between them

[jolovescakeandwine]

Name Ike
Age 7
Breed Collie
Skills 100% reliable, trustworthy, intelligent
Excellent ball/frisbee catcher
Good listener to his mum's concerns and problems
Excellent fitness coach
Very obedient, will carry out commands with little fuss and without having to be asked twice (unlike anyone else in the house)
Loves everybody (especially anyone who has taken him for a walk)
I love him sooooooooooo much! I tell him I love him every day!

[tellmeofthetime]

Amber
Age 8
Formal qualifications - Expensive pedigree Labrador, KC registered, parents full health screened.
Experience - Epileptic, bilateral hip dysplasia, bilateral cruciate ligament repairs, arthritis to hips, knees and spine.
Previous work history - 2 years gaining epilepsy stability.
3 years experience receiving weekly physio, acupuncture and underwater treadmill sessions.
Wide range of experience in wagging at vet, avoiding acupuncture needles, exhausting owner with endless exercise programme and costing pet insurance company thousands.

Work placements -
Hospitalization for ignoring owner and approaching horses in a field and getting kicked in face, requiring x rays and broken teeth extraction.
Hospitalization for eating stones which got lodged and required major abdominal surgery.
Hospitalization for stealing slug pellets requiring induced vomiting and IV fluids.
Personal attributes -
Constant cheerfulness in the face of pain and adversity
Total sense of entitlement to the best possible treatment and care.
Patience and tolerance throughout numerous x rays, blood tests and examinations.
Wagginess when approached by yet more veterinary professionals.

Special achievements -
Able to defy owners and career off into ponds and rivers without any thought of own safety
The finding of dead and decaying woodland creatures specifically designed to upset stomach for days
The ability to wander out of the woods and stand motionless in the road bringing cars to a standstill while her owner runs around calling aimlessly.

Special skills -
The ability to know when it's 8pm and epilepsy meds are due by banging paw on the floor.
The ability to separate said meds from tightly wrapped rolls of ham or turkey and spit them out.
The ability to stare at occupants of sofa until they give in and go to bed so she can sleep on it.

Future ambitions -
To live long beyond predicted years and defy vet opinion.
To eventually bankrupt pet insurance company.

[ZenMom]

Cooper gets on well on his own or as part of a team

Is a real go getter - is convinced he can climb any obstacle

Very protective - would make an excellent body guard for the rich and famous

Loves nothing more than giving his mum and dad great big soppy kisses - love guru perhaps

Works hard at everything he attempts (not always resulting in success)

Has a positive mental attitude when it comes to staffie haters

Can be relied on to clear the room when he is feeling gassy so could double as fire Marshall if needed

Encourages new starts on the proper etiquette of playing

Great morale boosting skills - one smile and it brightens anyone's day

Pretty much perfect in every way

[Rainbow]

Breed: Staffordshire Bull terrier.
Age 9
Rescued

Jobs:
Doctor. She knew my baby son was ill even when doctors told me he was fine.
Childminder. Would lay at the bottom of the stairs to stop my son climbing them. Would wrap herself around a sleepy baby (sitting) so as he fell asleep he didn't fall.
Children's entertainer: loves playing piggy in middle with the older ones. If she does catch the ball, she gives it back to play again.
Cleaner. Will clear up spilt food.
Confidant. Really good at knowing when someone is upset and listens to all the gripes and complaints from everyone will snuggling.

[amprev]

Our dog is a rescue whippet, aged approx 6-7, although we don't know for sure. We have had him for 2 years and his main skill is bringing smiles to faces. If anyone in the family gets poorly he gives extra helpful snuggles, earning him the title, Dr Bones. We lI've him dearly and feel very lucky to be his forever family.

[QueenofLouisiana]

Name: Fizzy
Age: 14
Breed: border collie

Previous employment:
Paralympian- 2014-present
Since breaking my back in a freak accident I have worked hard to regain my ability to walk, wag my tail and go to the toilet in the garden. I enjoy my walks and am usually pretty good at balancing on all 4 paws- I'm slower but fairly steady.

Hoover- ongoing
I enjoy finding left over food or dropped items on the floor and eating them. I consider this my voluntary contribution to society as stuff I eat doesn't contribute to landfill. I am very Eco-aware!

Gerbil-watcher-ongoing
I excel at this role and have great resilience in this job. I can stare at the gerbil for hours, ensuring it doesn't escape or dog or move around too much. Only my mum dragging me away and telling me to "leave the poor thing alone" distracts me from the job in hand.

Ball chaser- 2008- 2014
Resigned from this job due to ill health (see paralympian entry)

Pre 2008- Unknown. I am rescue dog, enjoying my twilight years in my forever home.

[SarcasmMode]

Name: Archie
Age: 5
Breed: Lab Retriever cross, the golden variety.

Qualifications/School: Qualified being a guide dog in 2012 and all the lovely training that included.

Skills:

• - Picking up and eating food quicker than you can pick it up.
• - Chasing much smaller dogs around the local field until he can't stand.
• - Eating anything he finds including tissue paper, children's toys and stickers.
• - Excellent hearing, until he is being called to come inside.
• - Caring personality, always there to give you affection and love and always has a big waggy tail

Hobbies:

• - Nicking other peoples balls.
• - Chasing after his owners daughter.
• - Trying to get involved with the family discussions.
• - Laying wherever his owner and family need to get to, especially whilst cooking.
• - Pooping in the most inappropriate of places.

[MidnightAura]

Name: Cassie
Breed: Labrador Retriever
Age: 11 Months

Education: Graduate of Puppy University. (Yes really)
Learned skills: heel, sit, stay, beg, high 5, hide, and saying my prayers.
"Other skills": Ability to open doors, wardrobes and drawers.

Current Roles: Dangerous Disposal Unit (Cat litter branch)
Dangerous Disposal Unit (Fox and horse poo branch)
Washing Machine Emptier since October 2015
Doggy Cleaner (put my toys away) since January 2016
Feline Groomer since August 2015
Feline Exerciser since August 2015
Cat food tester since August 2015
Underwear Enthusiast since August 2015
Shoe Quality Tester since August 2015
Turns clothes into a bed to cuddle into.
Velcro Dog: Will follow you everywhere. No place is sacred.

Outdoor Skills:
Will spot someone from a mile away and insist upon going over to say hello.
Master of the puppy dog eyes when there's possibility of treats.
Has excellent re call unless another dog/child is present, then goes selectively deaf. See point above.

I have excellent social skills and feel I am best placed working with humans. In particular little humans as they give me lots of treats.

[desertmum]

Thanks Words - it's a big favourite of mine

[CreepingDogFart]

Had a Pedigree treat.
Was violently ill.
Nearly died at 6 months old.
Pedigree passed it off.
Survived.

[cheeseandmarmite15]

CreepingDogFart

I'm sorry your dog was ill but this isn't the place to air your grievance.

All three of my dogs have Pedigree treats and suffer no health problems.

[OrlandaFuriosa]

Name: Rollo OrlandoFurioso
DoB:23 May 2012
Address: OF Villas, Kent
Nationality: British, born of British parents in Derbyshire
Ethnicity: Jack Russell, with a possibility of a dash of sheepdog

Career
0-5 months: farm dog, controlling hens, cattle and horses, comforting small children who have fallen off their ponies in riding school
5 months to date: pampered pooch for whom only the best is possible.

Special abilities in:
Supporting stressed teenagers through exams and teen love
Taking overweight owners out for daily exercise
Comforting the dying by lying on the bed being stroked and chatting gently while helping with The Times crossword

Achievements
Reducing the rat population, including killing a rat in the kitchen at the age of 6 months, keeping the garden rat free
Catching a squirrel in the park, but letting it go (mainly through surprise)
Acting as a hot water bottle to owners, no matter what the weather
Awards for intrepid bravery including seeing off Newfoundland, black Labradors and neighbouring St Bernard
Keeping garden cat and fox free so that birds have a chance to breed
Introduction of owners to two new perfumes: Eau de Renard and Essence de Cowpat.

Likes
Good pet food, treats, walkies, attention, children, old people, own family

Dislikes
Getting paws wet, foxes, most cats, most postmen, baths

Future career ambitions
To train owners to appreciate fully their good fortune and translate that into even better food, more walks, more attention, fewer baths and more pampering

[Therewere5inthebed]

Name: Wellington
Breed: Weimeraner

Achievements:
Winner of the biggest, softest (but rather useless in any other way) ears competition.

Winner of the biggest dog, smallest brain competition.

Winner of the best listener award and is particularly talented at comforting stressed or upset children/teens.

Specialist in:
•Turning oak banisters to sawdust.
•Using a full bottle of lactulose as a chew toy and consuming the contents resulting in having the worlds cleanest bowels.
•Remodeling female humans Michael Kors handbag handle.
•Finding male human's wallet and making the contents much, much smaller..
•Escaping from secure dog crate and causing random destruction. (Please see above)

Likes:
Harassing older doggy family members and using them as cushions.

Sneaking onto the bed and using female human throat as a pillow effectively suffocating her in her sleep.

Is passionate about recycling, dead mice, horse and bunny and older dogs poo are specialties.

Likes helping local wildlife to move from one area to the next while on walks, crows, baby bunnies and pidgeons have all been relocated totally unharmed (bar a bit of doggy saliva).

Likes being a Velcro dog and not letting female human out of his sight, including while she's bathing and using the other bathroom facilities.

Dislikes:
Gets rather despondent when small black cat does not allow grooming.

Hates falling off the sofa while in a deep sleep, especially when landing on sleeping big doggy sister and getting short shrift.

Gets rather upset and scared when the hens peck his tail, especially when he's dozing in the sun.

Future ambitions:
Not to be in trouble as much and to perfect guilty, hang dog expression if all else fails.

[SlowJinn]

Rainbow your dog sounds amazing, especially the childminder role.

[CormoranStrike]

CCV (Canine Curriculum Vitae)

Dog name
Jenson - blonde and cute as a button.

Breed
Flat coated cockapoo. F1 category, hence the name.

DOB
December 27, 2013. Aged two and a half.

Education

Puppy training classes, where he excelled at listening skills and attention to detail, graduating top of the class in recall, but with room for improvement in speed.

Advanced puppy training classes, where he showed potential, but also a mischievous inquisitiveness, which he sees as an asset, not a liability.

Throughout his formative months he was mentored by his late, lamented, doggy big brother.

Awards

Third place in the best hand shake at recent doggy charity day.

Winner in temptation alley for navigating a course through food and toy temptation without distraction.

Hobbies and interests

He adores walking and running, and gives up many hours in pursuit of these goals. In particular, he likes chasing tennis balls. In his downtime he enjoys biting teddies. He is also an exceptional good care giver, focusing on cuddles.

Special talents

He can bark on command, hold a tennis ball in his mouth while balancing one on his head and another on his nose, and manages to both adore and be petrified of our cat in equal measure.

Flexibility

For family reasons he would prefer to work from home.

References

Available on request.

[RedVelvetOreos]

Name: Fudge Oreos

Age: 3 years and 8 months

Current Role: Professional Biscuit Eater, Rug Tester, Hi Fiver, Cheerer Upper and Gardener (a.k.a Strawberry Plant Eater).

Previous Role: Bread and Pan Au Chocolate imitator.

Education: First Class Degree in House Disruption from Caninebridge University.

Awards: Most biscuits eaten in a minute, Longest nap in history, Mopiest dog in the town.

Skills and Hobbies: Successfully opening the front door with one paw and running off to play a marathon game of hide and seek. Decorating the living room inline with my canine taste with a dusting of toys.

[michelle303]

This thread has given me serious dog envy! :P

[NorksAreMessy]

Name: The Dog MacIntosh
Current Role : STICK!
Responsibilities : STICK! STICK!
Education : STICK!
Skills and attributes : STICK!
Awards : STIIIIICK!

[CormoranStrike]

S T I C K !!!!

[cheeseandmarmite15]

I wouldn't want to be the judge of this as they are all wonderful dogs!