Primary school auties : spring 2021 and beyond - thread 6

[danni0509]

Hi. New thread.

This is the continuation of the thread for parents / carers of autistic children / children with additional needs. Most of us are parents of children in year 1 / year 2.

Links to old threads

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Everyone welcome x

That's great liv

I've just been for a lovely walk around the village looking at the flowers.

danni I've been off the IF for about a month but I've managed to maintain my weight. Hoping to start again but finding it hard to skip breakfast! I only want to lose a few more pounds but still interested in the health benefits. Oof at ds trying to strangle the driver. You must dread the daily updates.

I restarted 5:2 last week. I have not weighed myself yet ... I have a lot to lose - wish I didn't like food so much

What a stressful start to the day Danni. Glad that there was more success elsewhere.

Open I am just sending the OT report to CAMHS. I noted that for VMI DS then 7 years 10 months was assessed as functioning at 4 years 3 months. I have just chased SENCO again to find out what is happening with EHCP and OT recommendations

Open and dimples what specifically do OT do for kids like ours? In your experiences?

I’m asking as ds school have referred ds, they said for sensory related but they don’t just deal with that do they and ds has other issues alongside sensory of course. Just wondering how beneficial it will be for him.

X

danni here the LA don’t deal with sensory issues and he wasn’t offered any ongoing support. Pre-covid our private OT would go into school fortnightly and work on fine and gross motor skills and sensory-motor stuff. She would give the TA things to work on and sometimes leave equipment. She’s lovely and ds liked engaging with her. Hopefully she can see him more regularly again.

Have you read the out of sync child has fun?

I have got that one open, I bought it when you recommended it a couple of years ago.

I’ve got the out of sync child aswell and another one I can’t quite remember without checking!

Danni OT has said DS needs a daily sensory motor programme. She has suggested weekly OT sessions and them to devise a sensory diet and give his 1:1 sensory integration training.

NHS locally do not accept referrals purely for sensory needs but DS has major fine and gross motor skills issues too. We are on waiting list for phone consultation with NHS. He has seen NHS OT twice before. They were lovely and wrote clear, accurate letters about his difficulties before discharging him. There doesn't actually seem to be any therapy as such. I went on an NHS run sensory smart parenting course which was useful. I am waiting to hear from Post Adoption Support if DS has funding (which could be used for private OT). And I am pursuing the EHCP route. Unfortunately as a sole parent working part time I can't afford to fund it. Hopefully one of the other sources coughs up....

Ds' school have re-started their sensory circuits sessions which they do first thing in the morning. I imagine your ds' school does stuff like this daily danni?

dimples hopefully you can get the funding that you need. I think it was really beneficial for ds.

Right ds taxi driver has left after 10 days. No warning or nothing!

So a woman bought him home with his escort at 2-15pm (he is 35 mins away and he finishes school at 2pm work that out!!!) it didn’t even look like a taxi just a normal car, she didn’t have any uniform on / no mask / no badges or anything, no plate on her taxi just looked like a normal little car. I went out to get ds and he’d climbed in her boot which she had a BASEBALL BAT in.

So I got ds out of the boot took the bags from the escort the escort said he’s been spitting at me, hitting me and biting me, then the woman said see you in the morning i’m the full time driver now. (She was pleasant enough) but I know her from school so she’s only early thirties.

Anyway her car was covered in dog hairs and ds has come in lathered in them 😫 (sorry for anyone that has dogs, I’m phobic of dog hairs, plus if he’s clean and tidy for school I don’t want him turning up to school covered in dog hairs / smelling like her car did!!)

I was that flabbergasted at the shock of it I didn’t even ask about the harness that was in the other taxi this morning, so they left then I said to ds what belt did you have on and he said I didn’t.

Plus he climbed in the boot freely so I don’t think he had his harness!

I don’t know what taxi company it is I have no details for the taxi company or escort so I can’t even check.

That’s really dangerous and if it’s not in the car in the morning I’m going to refuse him to go in it which will be awkward as I know the driver but tough.

How can a driver leave after 10 days? Is ds really putting people off that much ? 😔

She was nice to ds by the way, she said he was a sweetheart and said her kids would love him etc.

Shouldn’t really call her (I’m not anyway) as she’s nice, I just find it all really unprofessional how his driver has just left and he gets any tom dick or Harry and I need to know he has his harness and that she’s not speeding with him in the car and he’s safe etc!

danni that’s really not on. You should contact the supervisor that you dealt with previously or the LA. Ds absolutely needs his harness to make sure he’s safe.

Good job he didn’t have her windows out with that baseball bat.

In the morning open I’m going to ask if his harness is in the car if it’s not I’m no way sending him. I’ll have to take him and pick him up in my car and he can’t go in the taxi until it’s installed in that one, then I’ll have to phone the transport officer at the council to complain.

But I don’t give it long until the escort leaves, she doesn’t have a clue what to do with ds. Not a clue! They keep moaning at me about xyz. What do you want me to do I’m not even in the pissing car!

That’s what they are paid for ffs.

Ds is naughty I already know that 😳 no amount of ‘having a chat’ with him is going to stop that.

I’m finding this whole move to a new school / transport thing hugely stressful and wish I’d not bothered x

Not that I had any other choice but to move him, but you know what I mean.

And if I’m finding it hugely stressful I can only imagine how ds must be feeling.

I honestly think the transport think ds is much more capable if you get me, so there expectations are too high, bcos visually he looks absolutely fine & he speaks really well. So I think they must think he’s just naughty. He tells the driver the speed limits from looking for the signs etc so they probably think oh he’s switched on so he should be able to behave but it’s much more complicated than that.

They must think that bcos when they said yesterday to have a chat with him about hitting the windows and some other stuff they have previously said it’s evident they really don’t have a clue.

They confiscated something of him yesterday (the toy he’d stole from school) for hitting well it made him worse but she didn’t want to give in and give it back so she put up with him thumping the glass all the way back, but what do they expect.

They don’t understand him at all and they should because I had to send loads of info in where I wrote all this down and the council did a risk assessment and wrote a report up and the taxi provider received all this.

Then they are swapping and changing drivers / cars after a week, he had a different escort 2 days last week too. He doesn’t know whether he’s coming or going.

I hope you manage to get the funding for Ot dimples. Our area had a blanket rule to not asses children with ASD until they got told off for being unlawful! Thankfully services seem to have improved a bit now.

Danni I would imagine ds's school would integrate OT into daily activities, which is what my ds's school does.
What a nightmare about the transport. They clearly haven't understood what you have told them!

Hope you had a nice ds free day Open! Does he seem up for going in tomorrow?
I spoke to ds lots today about how great today was and he's said he will go on the bus again tomorrow but I'm not holding my breath!

liv I haven’t asked as I don’t want to stress him out. I will just be matter of fact about it in the morning. It said he had a good morning in his comms book so I can only hope but won’t hold my breath either!

😬

Liv they have a sensory room / gym at Ds school and he uses it several times a week, it has those swings from the ceiling etc ive seen pics on the website so I know they already do a bit with him. Good luck for the school bus tomorrow.

Open & dimples thanks for replying regarding OT.

I’ve calmed down a bit now 😂 I’m going to thoroughly febreeze ds down before he goes to school to cancel out any doggy smells and I’ll drop it into convo with his teacher when I next speak to him about him being covered in dog hairs from the taxi and not from home and to make everyone who works with him aware! Makes me paranoid they’ll think we are scruffs (I’m not exaggerating when I was saying how many he had on his polo shirt) How hard is it to hoover your taxi out though?! I’ll check for harness first thing when they arrive.

As long as he gets there and back safely that’s the main thing.

Yes to not holding your breath. Ds has been promising me he’ll sit in the hairdressers chair for years now and I’ve never managed to get him to step foot in one. He looks like worzel gummidge at the minute, I trim bits off as and when I can.

I’ve just been in his bedroom to cut his fingernails as they are getting long and he’s got loads of scratches on his face from clawing himself and I’ve managed to do two nails before he woke up so I’ll have to go back in tomorrow to do another two and so on then start his toenails next week.

We lead rock and roll lifestyles don’t we 😆

Ds not at school. As soon as it was time to leave he started fussing about wanting to go out somewhere else. He’s like a dog with a bone.

Fucking fuming this morning.

Ds has to be at school at 9.30.

35 minute drive to get him there and the driver turned up at 9.20!!!!!!

I tried to phone the council at 9.10am but got there answer machine.

I went out to the taxi at 9.20 and said he’s got to be at school in 10 minutes? She said I’m sorry I’ll have him there don’t worry. So I said what you’ll have him in school in 10 minutes when it’s 20 miles away? i don’t think so.

I checked his harness was in the car (it was) and passed the escort the bags and come in the house.

I phoned ds school office as soon as I got in, told them, they were like what! Then I emailed his class teacher and said I wasn’t happy that a) he’s going to get to school late regardless, b) she’s planning to speed the whole way on dangerous bloody roads and c) ds was ready with coat / shoes / bags for 8.50am the time the old driver got him and that the new driver came 30 mins after that so ds was massively agitated having to wait (understandable) and now she’s set him up in a bad mood from the get go.

Also means she’s going to speed home with him and I’ll have him home really early.

Not impressed at all.

School didn’t say they were going to say anything either they just said thanks for letting us know 😡

Sorry he hasn’t gone in open!