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Original poster

Primary school auties : spring 2021 and beyond - thread 6

999 replies

danni0509 · 15/02/2021 20:57

Hi. New thread.

This is the continuation of the thread for parents / carers of autistic children / children with additional needs. Most of us are parents of children in year 1 / year 2.

Links to old threads

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Everyone welcome x

OP posts:
openupmyeagereyes · 18/02/2021 08:56

danni sympathies, I know how awful that is.

Re work. I think you need to think about childcare costs for the holidays vs the money you would earn across the year, if you haven’t already. So during the holidays you might pay more than you earn but over the full year it might still be worthwhile? Plus you would still be expected to take some weeks of holiday yourself anyway.

Before Covid I was looking at childcare via the Bubble app. There seemed to be people on there with sn experience.

Light enjoy your clean house later today.

I need to go back over the last few posts as I’ve forgotten the rest.

openupmyeagereyes · 18/02/2021 14:55

liv I hope you’ve managed to get out of the house and make the most of the better weather.

danni it’s natural to be worried and curious about ds’ new school. Hopefully it will be great but If not then I’m sure you can move in the future.

mum AIBU is generally a place to avoid I feel. Don’t be too stressed, the reality is that probably nobody else will be aware of such needs.
I hope the annual review goes well.

dimples I hope the quote was reasonable and things are looking brighter today.

mrsdubeke I hope the school is in touch soon.

Original poster
danni0509 · 19/02/2021 16:54

I have my covid vaccine Monday afternoon.

That was quick, gp said Monday they would contact me within a month.

OP posts:
openupmyeagereyes · 19/02/2021 18:59

That’s great danni, they must be powering through them.

MrsDuBeke · 21/02/2021 21:13

Good luck for tomorrow @danni0509!

dimples76 · 22/02/2021 09:35

I am so glad that half term is over but I felt like crying when I watched DS walk through the school gates this morning. I really feel down about our relationship at the moment. I think last week was the most challenging behaviour I have experienced from him. It is nice to be at home with DD with no screaming or aggression. I just don't know how to get us back on track as a family.

In better news I am also booked in for my covid vaccine.

openupmyeagereyes · 22/02/2021 10:34

I'm sorry things are difficult dimples. Is he open to talking about how he's feeling and why? What have you tried so far? Flowers

Ds has refused to go back to school today, I expected it but am still a bit gutted. I know that it is just anticipation anxiety and that he would love so much to go and play in the playground with the other children. I shall keep trying to get him to do that at least.

I see it's been announced that all schools will be back in two weeks. I was hoping ds would be settled back in by then. Sigh.

dimples76 · 22/02/2021 11:03

Thanks Open when I ask DS how he feels he says happy! I have tried wondering out loud if he feels a range of other emotions but he just agrees with everything I say. I think that he is bored and his sensory needs are not being met (as he rejects any attempt by me to follow his sensory diet). I think that he's also jealous of DD.

I'm going to call post adoption support when DD has her nap. I'm waiting to hear from OT and Continence team. I have a feeling that he might settle more when I return to work in April. Hopefully as the weather improves and the world starts opening up more things might get easier ...

Sorry that the return to school did not go to plan. Was his 1:1 around?

openupmyeagereyes · 22/02/2021 11:10

The (LA) EP told us to use a wondering out loud approach with ds. Over time it's meant to help them understand different emotions and how they feel when they have them. I think you need to be fairly confident you know what they are feeling before naming it though and that can be a big part of the challenge, for me at least. Hopefully post adoption support will have some ideas.

We didn't even get to school, he refused to get dressed and leave the house. I will continue to try and get him to go in for a play time. I feel that once he has taken that step then it might be easier.

openupmyeagereyes · 22/02/2021 11:14

I feel like it was a big mistake to keep him at home when lockdown started. There were no cases in his class as far as I know, they didn't have any isolation periods anyway even though some of the other years did.

dimples76 · 22/02/2021 13:12

It's much easier with hindsight Open! My boy was v wobbly the first day back after Christmas.

openupmyeagereyes · 22/02/2021 13:41

He was nervous but he went in for playtime after lunch. A great first step I hope. He had a good time, realised that the classroom was the same as when he left last year (except for the Christmas decorations) and came out happy. Fingers crossed tomorrow is a bit easier but I won't expect too much.

dimples76 · 22/02/2021 16:49

That's good Open. Fingers crossed for tomorrow

openupmyeagereyes · 23/02/2021 14:29

danni I hope you’re feeling ok after your jab.

Ds had a good morning today Smile

Original poster
danni0509 · 24/02/2021 14:33

I was fine after I had it open but that night I had a pounding headache and the next morning felt like I had flu, couldn’t be bothered to even breathe. That lasted about 12 hours and I feel fine now.

OP posts:
Original poster
danni0509 · 24/02/2021 14:33

I had the AstraZeneca Oxford one x

OP posts:
Original poster
danni0509 · 24/02/2021 14:36

Pleased ds is settling back into school open.

How is ds dimples? Flowers

OP posts:
Original poster
danni0509 · 24/02/2021 17:13

Ds specialist teacher hasn’t been in all week, Ive not seen her at drop off or pick up since before half term and I said to ds today where is miss xxxx he said she’s not at school she’s gone missing 😂

I do take his word about her not being in as I’ve not seen her at all either and he’s been having somebody different getting him and bringing him back out then today the teacher who bought him out was saying what they’ve done together (making jelly etc) so i said to ds yesterday when you did your work today ds which adult did you have and he said the dinner lady or he said another 1-1’s name.

So where the fuck is she again?

I’ll be asking tomorrow but hopefully her p45 is in the post!

Even if she’s in and I’ve not seen her and ds is full of it (which doesn’t look likely) then why is she not working with ds?!

She’s supposed to be his ONE TO ONE for 6 hours a day, that’s what the LA paid them a huge amount of money for.

I know I got my wish and he’s back in full time again but that’s really not the point. They where supposed to employ a specialist teacher with the funds for ds and she’s been off more than she’s been with him! 😡

OP posts:
Original poster
danni0509 · 24/02/2021 17:16

So unless school can tell me what exactly is going on tomorrow then I’ll be phoning the Local authority SEND team again and they will be having to instruct the school to employ another specialist ASAP.

That’s the whole point!

OP posts:
Original poster
danni0509 · 24/02/2021 17:19

Ps, I know he is still having 1-1 and being supported, but that’s what his ehcp funding pays for, the additional the local authority paid last month was for a specialist teacher.

They’ve taken the money and he’s having ordinary 1-1 / 2-1 as the specialist seems to keep going awol. Just annoys me!

OP posts:
dimples76 · 24/02/2021 20:35

I'm not surprised you're annoyed Danni.

That's good news Open

DS went back into school calmly and happily. However, the toileting issues have worsened. This evening as I lay outside DD's bedroom door trying to get her to settle DS came upstairs carrying a poo. He also had a poo accident at school which is the first since October. DS has been better with DD but screaming a lot at both of us. I feel v weary

MrsDuBeke · 24/02/2021 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsDuBeke · 24/02/2021 22:27

Sorry @danni0509 that all sounds really off, you're right to be annoyed.
Great news @openupmyeagereyes
Big hugs re: the toileting @dimples76

openupmyeagereyes · 25/02/2021 05:54

dimples sorry the toileting struggles are ongoing. Did the post adoption team offer any advice yet on ds’ behaviour?

MrsDuBeke I’m sorry SS has been ruled out for now. Can you appeal?

danni hopefully you can find out what’s going on today. The specialist teacher was supposed to positively benefit ds given all his missed education over the years. They should be keeping you in the loop.

It was harder work to get ds to school yesterday but we made it and he had a good day. I am braced for more of the same today... 😬

openupmyeagereyes · 25/02/2021 05:55

He’s in for half a day at the moment.