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Primary school auties : spring 2021 and beyond - thread 6

999 replies

danni0509 · 15/02/2021 20:57

Hi. New thread.

This is the continuation of the thread for parents / carers of autistic children / children with additional needs. Most of us are parents of children in year 1 / year 2.

Links to old threads

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Everyone welcome x

OP posts:
livpotter · 14/06/2021 20:42

Will do open. Well done for getting him to do some work!

Happy birthday to your ds dimples!

HairyFeline · 14/06/2021 22:12

Hello all. Hope you are ok. I’ve been popping in and out of this thread as time allows and now have a quick question. Quite a while ago someone mentioned they found little cold gel pouches which coincidently fit inside ear defenders to avoid hot ears and I recently thought I’d found just the thing. They arrived in the post today and are way too big though. Any ideas on which brand are small enough to fit? Thank you so much!

LightTripper · 14/06/2021 22:59

Sorry to hear that so many are having a tricky time. I wonder if the weather isn't helping? Certainly I feel more stressed about everything when it's hot (also not helped at the moment by the fact that DS's nursery is closed for Covid - 3 cases and counting! I hope there are no more and nobody gets properly sick). But I think things that would be manageable in normal weather I'm just struggling to process when I'm sticky and dehydrated and uncomfortable. I think it's supposed to cool down later in the week so we'll see I guess.

Slightly fan-girling over your Chris Bonnello call @openupmyeagereyes - glad it was useful! Really sorry DS is struggling though, I wonder what has brought it all on?

DD's TA came out today and said she is doing well. Much less sensory issues (which I think he's always primed for having had two autistic sons himself) and doing well on executive function stuff, so she doesn't need a lot of the prompts she used to have. It's nice to hear as we never really know what supports she is getting or not getting in school. He's going to write a list of the things she had help with in the past though, as I'm pretty sure she will need them again at her new school with so much new stuff going on, and I think it would really help the transition. I do think it helps that she knows her limits and her issues. So instead of just having a panic if it's noisy she knows why and can do something about it, if that makes sense. It's funny as although I mention her autism to her now and again she never really sounds very interested or asks questions about it. But maybe she just knows as much as she needs to know for now. Anyway, I'm still nervous for September, but she seems to be feeling OK about the transition for now.

LightTripper · 14/06/2021 23:39

And happy birthday mini-dimples (though I suppose they are all getting less mini with each passing year!)

openupmyeagereyes · 15/06/2021 09:25

Belated happy birthday to mini dimples Cake

Light it’s great you have someone so knowledgeable working with dd. Sounds like great transition planning.

HairyFeline sorry, I can’t help with that.

Complete refusal from ds again today. He won’t even go in for a few hours.

livpotter · 15/06/2021 10:51

Great job on the transition light, I hope that the move in September all goes well.

Worst morning yet here. Quite surprised no one has called social services on us with all the screaming from ds. Anyway he is in school and apparently all settled down. Had a proper cry on the way home today. I feel very beaten. Sorry you've had problems this morning too open

openupmyeagereyes · 15/06/2021 11:20

I’m sorry you had an awful morning liv. Can you do something nice for yourself today?

Ds has gone into school for just over an hour, I’m picking him up at 12. This is a positive step. We have OT coming here this afternoon as he won’t be in school.

livpotter · 15/06/2021 13:05

Well done for getting him in open!

I'm watching SAS who dares wins and wondering whether getting a resistant autistic child into school takes similar mental resilience Grin

danni0509 · 15/06/2021 13:32

Liv our kids would have Ant Middleton running for the hills 😂😂 enjoy your programme!

Open I’m sorry your still struggling to get ds into school, how has today been?

Sorry @HairyFeline I don’t remember that post, it certainly wasn’t me x

Light good to hear dd is doing well, I hope the isolation period for ds passes quickly.

Dimples happy 8th birthday for little man, hope he enjoyed his day 🎉

Hello to everyone else x

OP posts:
danni0509 · 15/06/2021 13:33

Oh sorry open, I just read he did go in for an hour, well done ds! Good luck for this afternoons therapy.

OP posts:
openupmyeagereyes · 15/06/2021 14:20

liv it definitely takes mental resilience and a resignation that this is how it is right now but that it will pass like everything else has. That’s what I’m telling myself anyway! Flowers

I’m waiting to hear from the teacher on how today went. It was nice to see his OT as it’s the first time since covid. He did an assessment for her and she’ll call me about it.

How is ds getting on danni, has his behaviour settled down?

danni0509 · 15/06/2021 14:48

His teacher just phoned me actually open. Just to say he’s had a lovely day today, he’s still out of the classroom having 1-1 but going in for longer periods of time he’s up to an hour a day now depending on what kind of day he’s having, they hope he’s full time in the classroom by Christmas, he had a bad period yesterday where he messed in his pants and took a few members to change him as he was being difficult and somebody from the pastoral team was helping the staff to clean him up and she said ds needs to see an OT (bizarrely with all of his sensory needs he’s never seen one - they don’t do it via the nhs here) so his class teacher is onto that. They’ve also got a weighted vest they keep trying on him but ds doesn’t like it on so they will keep trying that on him.

Ds keeps stealing toys from school (Duplo figures) putting them in his pockets, I send them back the next day, so his teacher said can we check this is from home as ds said it’s from his bedroom (it isn’t) So now they are having to check he hasn’t taken anything, I asked if he can take his own figures into school for his pockets (he likes things in his pockets) his teacher said No. Ok that told me! 😂

He mentioned his adhd appointment for meds again and said the sooner the better but it’s not until end of July now (I think I mentioned before)

He said ds is doing lots of work and making great progress, his behaviour is very trying but he appreciates everyone has bad days and they are working out what works best with him.

The taxi are having a few issues he keeps punching the windows there and back, his escort actually said today can you have a chat with him tonight please as he’s repeatedly hitting the glass.

Of course I’ll have a chat with him (as always) but the reason he has an escort in the back is to stop him doing things like that......... (I do like the escort and driver) but sometimes somethings are out of my control.

OP posts:
openupmyeagereyes · 15/06/2021 14:58

can you have a chat with him tonight please as he’s repeatedly hitting the glass

Of course that will make all the difference danni Grin

Wonderful that he’s making great progress though.

dimples76 · 15/06/2021 19:01

Light that sounds like excellent transition planning and great news about greater independence.

Liv and Open sorry to hear that the school refusing problems continue.

Danni if only it was as easy as having a word.

The bouncy castle birthday present I got for DS was a big mistake. He is in heaven but I'm finding it a struggle as he ignores all my safety instructions.

danni0509 · 15/06/2021 19:17

Was it a super quick inflatable one dimples by any chance? That takes 60 seconds to inflate?

Asking for a friend........ Grin

OP posts:
danni0509 · 15/06/2021 19:21

I’ve seen one for ds that would fit it my small garden, it inflates in 60 seconds and packs away in a bag. Its quite expensive so I keep thinking about it....

OP posts:
dimples76 · 15/06/2021 19:34

Yes, it inflates super quickly. I haven't managed to get it in the bag - haven't tried to be honest. Main problem is when DD is around but she's asleep now so we are in full inflation/deflation mode. DS wants me to film it/him and he provides a YouTube type commentary. I did try to share a video which doesn't show his face but I can't seem to post it

openupmyeagereyes · 16/06/2021 06:56

Are these Bebop ones?

openupmyeagereyes · 16/06/2021 06:57

dimples that is something my ds would do. Maybe once the novelty wears off he’ll be a bit more sensible with it.

danni0509 · 16/06/2021 07:41

Bless him dimples he sounds like he enjoys it. I bet dd will like it too.

Open it was something like this I was looking at www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/outdoor/bouncy-castles/airflow-6ft-bouncy-castle/p/126338 I do like the bigger ones with slides on but ive got a small back garden that already has a trampoline swallowing my patio up so I don’t have a lot of grass so need something small ideally.

OP posts:
danni0509 · 16/06/2021 07:45

But then I don’t want something too small as ds will grow out of too quickly.

I actually wanted a swing for the back garden but we are on a bit of a slope out the back so that’s not going to work, I had the trampoline on the grass to start with but every time ds jumped the trampoline nearly fell over Grin so that’s on the flat patio now and I had to get rid of my table and chairs to accommodate it!

Good luck to everybody getting children to school this morning!

OP posts:
openupmyeagereyes · 16/06/2021 09:24

Ds has gone into school on time with no fuss today. He does want me to pick him up at 12 though which means that I have to rearrange the appointment that I booked with the Ed Psych. He will mainly be doing non-work activities of his choosing. I think more and more that this is about him finding the work too hard, though I don't think it's the only thing. I really don't know right now if this approach will work, as it has done before, and that he will settle back down or that as soon as they try to incorporate more work he will start resisting again. Then it's the summer holidays really soon and moving to KS2 afterwards where things are only going to get more difficult. Dh and I are going to look at the options for another school.

It will be interesting to hear what the OT says. She did the Beery VMI on him yesterday which is about visual perception and motor coordination.

liv I hope you had a better morning. When do you speak to the pastoral care people?

livpotter · 16/06/2021 09:27

Open ds got on the bus with no fuss this morning!!!! Must be something in the air today!

danni0509 · 16/06/2021 09:42

Great news! I hope that air is wafting towards my house 🤞

Ds almost strangled the taxi driver with his lanyard this morning not letting go of it.

Enjoy your days! I’m in the garden doing some weeding and mowing the grass before the weather turns bad.

Anyone still on a diet? I started again last Friday (intermittent fasting again)

OP posts:
livpotter · 16/06/2021 10:04

Oh no danni!! Hope everyone was ok.

I've been doing 5:2 for a couple of years now. Went down to 5:1 for a bit but just gone back to 5:2 as I was massively overindulging.

Have a nice time in the garden!