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Original poster

Support thread for sleep training in lockdown

196 replies

Goostacean · 21/05/2020 15:26

Hi all, I was on a similar thread for potty training (for my toddler) in lockdown and it was great to have some support and encouragement from those going through the same thing.

From tomorrow night we’re going to try sleep training our 5.5mo as he currently nurses/bounces to sleep and wakes multiple times a night.

Anyone else in a similar position, regardless of your child’s age? Smile

OP posts:
Mamabear04 · 22/05/2020 04:59

Hi OP! Yes I'm going to sleep train my LO in a week or so when my OH has some time off work and we can dedicate ourselves to doing it. What method are you doing? How is it going?

Original poster
Goostacean · 22/05/2020 07:50

Hi! We’re starting tonight. We’re going to try leaving the room when he’s in bed, drowsy but awake, and going back in to sooth at 2, 4, 6, 8 etc minute intervals. Not sure what you’d call it technically, but that’s the plan! Modified Ferber maybe?

The last few nights have been dreadful and I have a toddler who has now taken to waking up too, seemingly from nightmares. We really need to do this so that I can get some proper rest. Between the two of them I was up every 2hs last night, it’s like having a newborn.

What’s your plan? I’ll let you know how it goes tonight!

OP posts:
2018isanewyear · 22/05/2020 17:09

Can I join please? Starting tonight also. 8 month old sleeps well at night with just one wake most of the time but getting to sleep for both naps and bed time is painful! Has to to rocked and held and won't go in cot until 10pm so spending most of my evening in silence upstairs holding him.

I'm dreading it to be honest dh is supportive but a little dubious it will work I'm not expecting a quick fix just hoping I can last tonight as that's the first hurdle!

2018isanewyear · 22/05/2020 17:11

Should have said method, we're going to go with 3mins, 5mins, then 7mins.

He actually falls asleep no time in arms so it's not a time thing I could just get so much more done with him napping on his own and going to bed at a decent hour

Original poster
Goostacean · 22/05/2020 18:02

I think I might do 3, 5, 8, 10 mins too. My SIL advised at least 5 mins because they need some time to actually cry then calm down and start to drop off. What time is bedtime tonight, then?

OP posts:
2018isanewyear · 22/05/2020 18:14

We've just done a bath and just going to do bottle and book (usual routine) and then would normally rock him to sleep at 7ish so will just put him in cot then. I'm expecting him to be ok for a little while and then start the tears. Should I leave him if he's happy or still go in at intervals?

Original poster
Goostacean · 22/05/2020 18:17

Apparently leave them if they’re not crying- intervals only if crying. So I’ve heard!

OP posts:
2018isanewyear · 22/05/2020 19:07

There was no worry of that Confused he started After 5 mins.

Original poster
Goostacean · 22/05/2020 19:37

I’m 15mins in... Had a lovely bath, managed to feed whilst awake for once, laid him down, big kiss, lights out... and I’ve been up twice 5 mins apart. Now waiting a full 8 mins. He’s just run out of steam briefly, but I’m sure will continue soon... he was all tired eye-rubbing at bedtime so I know he’s sleepy.

OP posts:
2018isanewyear · 22/05/2020 20:02

He's finally asleep! Took an hour start to finish, not all crying though and ended up going to sleep while dh was up their for the 2 mins comfort. Still feel like we have sort of settled him rather than himself BUT he is asleep in his cot at this time so it's a huge improvement on a normal night. Hope he isn't as persistent in the night though I'm usually straight up out of bed as the first little cry so it's going to be a shock to both of us!

Hope your ds is asleep when you check back in!

NC2605 · 22/05/2020 20:04

Thanks for the thread. Come over from the other one. DS has gone down beautifully which he always does at 7 something. It's any wake ups after this that are awful. See how long we get before the first one.. usually an hour.. not really looking forward to the night but hopefully it will be worth it. Good luck everyone!

Original poster
Goostacean · 22/05/2020 20:14

Took 30mins, almost to the second. Just checked on him and he’s asleep, arms out, head to the side, cute as a button.

It’s a bit upsetting to hear him upset - and he gets SO sweaty when he cries, which stresses me out. But actually I’ve learnt from my toddler that in reality, the baby won’t remember in 2-3 weeks time that we did things any other way, and he’ll be much happier from being well-rested. Several times in the night lately I feel like he’s awake because he can’t resettle himself, rather than because he’s hungry or anything else. So I cling onto the hope that this is in everyone’s best interests!

Good luck everyone! Stay strong!

OP posts:
agteacht · 22/05/2020 20:21

Hey everyone!

Thanks for this thread!

I'm on night two of intervals with my 5 month old.

Night 1 - 45 minutes, but then woke up after half an hour. Settled again after 11 minutes

Dream feed @ 11.30pm and then slept until about 4.30pm. Night feed, then woke her at 7am

Today -
First nap was brilliant, 9am. Settled within 6 minutes! Slept for 90 minutes so I woke her.

Then it all went wrong. Wouldn't go down for second nap at 1pm. Thought it was a game and kept playing with her feet and rolling 😂

Eventually got a second short nap of 45 minutes out of her at around 4.45pm. Slept until 5.30pm.

Started bedtime almost straight away 😂
Bath etc until 7.30pm. She grunted etc to herself for about 20 minutes and then started to cry. Did 2 intervals and she was asleep within 10 minutes.

The nap issue in the middle of the day today aside this is nothing short of miraculous. I've fed her to sleep 4x a day for months. If we can break this now our lives will be so much better!!

But I won't count my chickens just yet. Pray she stays asleep until her dream feed and we can move onto day 3.

And just for context it was taking me minimum an hour, up to 2.5 hours before to settle her every night. I was at breaking point and the stress was making us ready for a divorce as well 😂

agteacht · 22/05/2020 20:22

@Goost - 30 mins great result!

Original poster
Goostacean · 22/05/2020 20:44

Good luck @agteacht! We were also starting to have longer and longer bed times... With my first, I also ended up spending hours in his room at bedtime and that was bad enough- but now being on the go all day with a toddler and a baby, I NEED my evenings to rest and not be touched by a child 😂

OP posts:
NC2605 · 22/05/2020 20:45

@Goostacean 30mins is great! And yes to the knowing from the toddler that it will all be fine once its done. I think that will help this time as the first time around it was hard to do not being sure if it would work. My DD goes to bed no problem and sleeps mostly through but now with the lighter mornings sometimes comes in for a snuggle from 5ish but I can live with that for now whilst struggling with DS.. but hoping after summer she will stay in bed till 7am again. DH keeps coming in and out from the garden slamming doors and generally being as loud as possible Hmm

NC2605 · 22/05/2020 20:48

@agteacht your day sounds great with the naps. I just rock in the pram to sleep outside as DD is so noisy inside and its the quickest way to get DS to sleep. Your night sounds like its started well too.. fingers crossed!

2018isanewyear · 22/05/2020 21:22

Ds woke again... did 3mins and then 5mins, he fell asleep in the second 5'mins

...then woke again really upset but settled before the first 3mins was up.

Not taking the progress as actual progress I know this is a long game but still feels good he's still in bed at this time

Keep reminding myself that if we give in now he has been crying for no reason witch is then worse!

NC2605 · 22/05/2020 21:37

In the thick of it now here. It's horrible listening to him crying but staying strong and hoping he will calm soon. He's fine in my arms to calm him down. Other downside is that he's woken DD..

NC2605 · 22/05/2020 21:38

Keep reminding myself that if we give in now he has been crying for no reason witch is then worse!

@2018isanewyear Reading that has helped!

Original poster
Goostacean · 22/05/2020 21:51

Hang on in there @NC2605!

How is he now?

OP posts:
NC2605 · 22/05/2020 21:54

Still going! But has moments of quiet then starts again a bit so hopefully coming to the end soon..! It has been nearly an hour now.. obvs not been crying the whole time or anything just an hour from when he first woke. You can hear in his cry that he's cross more than upset somehow? Does that seem weird?!

2018isanewyear · 22/05/2020 22:46

Just done the dream feed and about to put him down for night. He always goes in cot fine at this time so not expecting much dreading in the night if he wakes though everything seems harder After 1am

2018isanewyear · 22/05/2020 22:49

@NC2605 not weird at all! Ds was same he was frustrated rather than upset, like different from a cry if he hurts himself. It's just hard to see them so worked up but in the long run it will benefit them, proper uninterrupted sleep in their own bed!

agteacht · 23/05/2020 01:11

Sounds like everyone's actually doing okay! Survival is our main aim here 😊
Or for me at least a better version of survival than before.

All went well here - DD slept through from before 8pm without waking.

I'm doing a really late dream feed as had a long zoom call with some friends. Was meant to do the dream feed at 11.30! DH didn't do it 'in case he got it wrong'!

Anyway will be interesting to see what happens. Will she get to 6am before waking for her night feed - in which case DH can get up with her to start the day 😂

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