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Original poster

Support thread for sleep training in lockdown

196 replies

Goostacean · 21/05/2020 15:26

Hi all, I was on a similar thread for potty training (for my toddler) in lockdown and it was great to have some support and encouragement from those going through the same thing.

From tomorrow night we’re going to try sleep training our 5.5mo as he currently nurses/bounces to sleep and wakes multiple times a night.

Anyone else in a similar position, regardless of your child’s age? Smile

OP posts:
agteacht · 23/05/2020 01:13

PS @NC2605 I haven't been going in unless it's actual crying. 'Cross' crying or mooching (might be an Irish term) I've been waiting out. Hope it went okay

NC2605 · 23/05/2020 01:34

@agteacht no I haven't been going in unless I think he's upset rather than just cross at me. Your night sounds like it's going so well!

I'm feeling tired now.. asleep by 10 awake by 1035 asleep by 1050 which was good but awake again by 12 asleep by 5 past.. ok still good.. but awake again 1.15 and still going at the moment!

agteacht · 23/05/2020 01:39

Oh @NC2605 I feel for you. I really think it's pot luck. Keep persevering and push yourself to leave him as long as you can. I think sometimes when I go in I nearly give DD false hope that I will pick her up

Ironically I always swore I wouldn't sleep train. Now I'm advocating it. How things change

NC2605 · 23/05/2020 01:43

Yes I think I've been a bit soft going in on the early side of things when with my DD I found it best if I just let her have a full 20 -30 mins of on off crying to settle alone before intervening and then she soon dropped that down and down until a little grizzle and then right to sleep. I need to get tougher again!

agteacht · 23/05/2020 02:04

Easier said than done though x

2018isanewyear · 23/05/2020 06:41

Well I'm calling it coincidence but he's just work you Shock didn't have to get up once even for dummy! I'm assuming he tired him out from all the crying! Hope both your nights were as calm

agteacht · 23/05/2020 08:16

Brilliant!! That's fantastic

DD slept from the late dream feed at 1 until 5.45am. Couldn't resettle her then but made DH get up then!

She's just gone down for the first nap and again settled in less than 10 mins. Way too early for first nap but couldn't do anything about it because of the 5.45 wake up. Will just bring everything forward today and she will have to go to bed super early I guess.

Second nap yesterday didn't work at all so let's see what we can do today.

NC2605 · 23/05/2020 08:49

6 wake ups in total.. some longer than others. He slept 730 till 9, 10 till 1030, 1050 to 12, 1205 to 1.15 then awake till 240 which was hard work.. asleep till 4.50 when I fed him and then he slept till whenever it was that DD woke up. Shattered. My eyes hurt! I'm still in bed as DH got up with them both at some point after 7 but I'd stopped looking at my phone by then. I should still be asleep to try and catch up but I'm not.. which will make tonight harder!

So pleased to hear you both had good nights though! Gives me some hope for tonight!

2018isanewyear · 23/05/2020 09:16

Oh dear sounds like a rough night! It will all be worth it in the end good to hear you had some sort of a lie in.

I am probably doing this wrong but I'm only doing night times at the moment hoping to get that sorted and then move to naps, i am worried he may get confounded but I have read that day time and night time sleep is different and I'm hoping by him learning to self settle at night that he will use his new found knowledge to nap 😂 if I find after a week we don't have any improvement for the nights we will go the whole hog

Ds has a weird morning nap so wakes at around 6.30/7am naps at 8am then 11am and then 2pm I have tried to get rid of the first nap and just move his morning one forward but he just get so grumpy and over tired

Original poster
Goostacean · 23/05/2020 09:58

@NC2605 Arghhh that sounds so rough. Hope you catch up on some rest this morning.

Baby slept 8pm-1am, quick feed, slept til 4.30am, quick feed, then til 7am at which point we got up for the day. So still two night wakings/feeds which is about average- but I put him down awake each time and he dropped right off. Fussed for 3mins at the 4.30am waking and I was just preparing to start the intervals, but was silent before the first 5mins were over.

I was also planning to start the nights and then move to naps, I think. I’m in two minds about doing a dream feed. Usually his first block of sleep is the longest- he’s managed up to 8hs in the past. So I’m nervous of disrupting that... I think I’ll try a week of self-settling, and then if necessary move to a 10.30pm dream feed and no other feeds, only soothing, til 7am...

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agteacht · 23/05/2020 10:59

All the blurb I've read says do naps and night-time at the same time so as not to create any confusion. I'm sure you will be fine either way as there's no real right or wrong with these things. But we have gone with that approach

I let DD sleep for 2hrs 15 mins which is really long so who knows what the rest of the day will look like after that. I figured it was 3 x 45 min sleep cycles and was worth a go in case she refuses a second nap again like she did yesterday

agteacht · 23/05/2020 11:01

That's brave @Goostacean - id love to get rid of the night feed but don't think she would let me yet. The dream feed just lets me eliminate one night feed so we go down to one. But she's not on any form of solids yet, that might change things. Is your little one weaning?

2018isanewyear · 23/05/2020 11:15

Think I'll give it a few night and see how we're getting on and then think about naps, I agree it's probably better to just do it all at the same time I just don't think I'm strong enough to battle on through the day also!

What happens if for example nap is at 10am and it takes ds 40mins to settle do I wake him on the hour or let him have his hour from when he goes to sleep, I worry it will mess his whole day up but conscious I don't want him to miss out on sleep

NemesiaPinkLagoon · 23/05/2020 12:04

Hi everyone, it's good reading this thread and seeing how everyone is doing.

We started 'interval' training a few weeks ago and it is going ok. Daughter usually goes to sleep within 15-20 minutes with varying amounts of crying. One night there was no crying which was odd! We went in anyway at intervals to keep the rhythm going.

Have dabbled in doing the same for day naps but they are not as successful. She normally cries for as long as she sleeps. I've put her down now and she is crying horribly. I really want to go and pick her up.

Original poster
Goostacean · 23/05/2020 13:36

Well 4 weeks ago I had to go out for the Day and leave DS with DH. I wasn’t able to pump enough in time so left formula and DS held out for EIGHT HOURS during the day before finally giving in and having the formula. So, he definitely CAN last 8hs asleep without milk, he just doesn’t want to - understandably!

I’ve revised my view and am now trying to do the same method for settling for naps. Just put him down now so we shall see....

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Original poster
Goostacean · 23/05/2020 13:39

How did it go with the nap @NemesiaPinkLagoon?

@2018isanewyear I don’t know but I’d probably let him sleep until he wakes, personally... what did you decide to do?

@agteacht Sorry forgot to answer re the weaning. He’s started a bit of BLW this week, just sucking on some bits from our plates. EBF apart from that- he’s had formula about twice in his life, when I couldn’t be there. He’s gigantic - was 4.9kg at birth - but am trying not to let that sway me, he can definitely not-eat overnight if he gets used to it and increases his intake during the day...

OP posts:
agteacht · 23/05/2020 14:00

@2018isanewyear yea definitely start the clock from when he went to sleep after settling, not when you put him down

@NemesiaPinkLagoon sorry it's upsetting, hope it went okay!

@Goostacean ah okay so not much solids yet. That's a big baby, DD was 8lb and I thought that was big!

NemesiaPinkLagoon · 23/05/2020 16:06

@Goostacean @agteacht Thanks for asking :) She fell asleep shortly after I wrote the message, and woke up half an hour later. Time enough for us to have lunch! Then she had another sleep in the pram whilst out for a walk. We usually rely on walks to get her to nap.

@Goostacean how did the nap go for you this afternoon?

Original poster
Goostacean · 23/05/2020 16:31

Great! Nap was very successful- he fell asleep in 6 mins, was fussing but not crying at 5 so I didn’t go up, and then went quiet. Then he slept for 1h15! Which is unusual without me having to resettle him or feed him etc.

The routine is now feed whilst I hold a musical/lighting-up bear on my shoulder to keep his attention, into the sleeping bag, light off, kiss and leave. Trying to make sure he has a full belly. We have one more nap that will start around 5pm, maybe a bit earlier... and then bedtime at 7.30pm.

OP posts:
agteacht · 23/05/2020 18:02

That's great @NemesiaPinkLagoon so glad she went to sleep

We have managed a third nap, 45 mins, next up bedtime at half 7. Is it just me that's suddenly clock watching and timing obsessed?? 😂

Original poster
Goostacean · 23/05/2020 18:07

Same! Nice to have a support thread though. The potty training thread was really helpful and that’s a far less emotive topic than sleep, I feel.

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2018isanewyear · 23/05/2020 20:12

Tonight has been a success!

He was a lot more restless when he first went in cot (I think he knew what was coming) but he fell asleep much quicker...3min, 5min and then about 5mins into the 7min, he also wasn't upset the whole time.

I actually found it harder tonight though, think because I knew how horrible it is and dh who is sceptical anyway was having second thoughts during the first 3 mins. He is very supportive and we have agreed we are doing this together but I just know in the back of my mind if I said I can't do this he would be straight up to get him.

Hope everyone has a peaceful evening!

Original poster
Goostacean · 23/05/2020 20:29

Great news! We’ve had a fantastic evening, I must have accidentally hit the jackpot with bedtime timings. Lovely bath, big feed, into the bag.... fussed a bit but not real crying, as I left the room. I set the timer and went to the kitchen so I wouldn’t hear him crying... After 5mins had a listen... silence. Out like a light within those 5 mins. I bet he’ll be up 10 times in the night to make up for it 😂

OP posts:
NC2605 · 23/05/2020 22:23

Glad some of you are having success! DS went down at 730 slept till 9.05 and we have been going in and out since then.. driving me a bit mad now! He is starting to have calmer periods within the crying time so I'm hoping he's coming to the end of it and his crying is again more cross than upset most of the time. Can't see this being fixed in 3 nights like DD though!

I am so tired though I went to bed the moment I left DD asleep at 8 and slept for an hour before DS woke so hope that will give me some energy for the night ahead..

agteacht · 23/05/2020 22:58

Also worked well again here... bed at 7.30 and asleep within 15 minutes and mostly grouching. About to do the dream feed now. I am so hoping this isn't just a fluke and it will keep working because its honestly changed my life already!

@NC2605 I am however feeling for you and willing your DS to go with it! It's great you've done this before so you know it can work.

How old is your DS, sorry I know it will be in a post somewhere