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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Thread Deleted ( Parts 1,2,3, and 4)

284 replies

AnneKipankitoo · 05/03/2025 11:18

I saw that thread 4 was deleted with the message
about breaking Mumsnet guidelines.
The 3 previous threads were deleted too.

Which guidelines were broken?

OP posts:
BunnyLake · 05/03/2025 15:21

Jackdoor · 05/03/2025 14:44

The "husband" was believable enough; it was the OP whose response was implausible. She turned into more of a doormat the worse he got, presumably because she knew she'd get more responses from people trying to persuade her to see her own worth and leave him that way. There was nothing realistic in her response to it all either, none of the genuine distress markers, just faux naievety.

Yes that was weird. May be more understandable if she had children and felt trapped in the situation but she was a free agent and could call it quits at any time, even if that meant divorce. Was the OP even a she, who knows 🤷‍♀️

ThanksItHasPockets · 05/03/2025 15:21

INeedAnotherName · 05/03/2025 14:01

Same here.

That poster stating the threads only got to 20 pages isn't actually being that helpful since my settings are 100 posts to a page which means I can only get to 10 pages maximum. Saying the post count would be better for everyone.

I'm still holding stubbornly on to my 1000 posts to a page, which apparently marks me out as an old timer as it hasn't been an option for so long!

Zov · 05/03/2025 15:22

LindorDoubleChoc · 05/03/2025 11:39

What a surprise not. I'm still amazed at how many people are taken in.

This! I never understand why some people invest so much time in not just one thread - but 3 or 4, (or more) ALL about the same subject. (Someone's latest dilemma!)

I roll my eyes to the back of my head, and inwardly sigh, when an 'issue' a poster has rolls onto multiple threads. And people post 'checking in!' and 'I am soooooo invested!'

I can just about stomach a second one. Even understand it to a degree if things feel unresolved, but when it goes to more than 2 threads... (3, 4, or even 5) I'm like >>> 🙄 Some people are soooooooo invested in peoples dramas and issues, and sit glued to the multiple threads from one poster about ONE issue they are having.

Each to their own, but it's bad enough when you post 2 or 3 long-ish detailed well thought out posts on a thread and it goes 'poof!' Imagine spending a WEEK investing in someone's 'problem' just to find out it was all bollocks.

NotaRealHousewife · 05/03/2025 15:23

It was the folk looking up the strip clubs in Blackpool , their search history will
Be interesting

Motorroller · 05/03/2025 15:24

Ahem, I think the shark moment was the reference to what she said her friend’s boyfriend had said her friend did… the term that posters duly googled.

NotaRealHousewife · 05/03/2025 15:25

Motorroller · 05/03/2025 15:24

Ahem, I think the shark moment was the reference to what she said her friend’s boyfriend had said her friend did… the term that posters duly googled.

Oh yes 🎷🎺

SerafinasGoose · 05/03/2025 15:25

BunnyLake · 05/03/2025 15:21

Yes that was weird. May be more understandable if she had children and felt trapped in the situation but she was a free agent and could call it quits at any time, even if that meant divorce. Was the OP even a she, who knows 🤷‍♀️

I skimmed the end of the last thread without bothering to post, as it was obvious by this point not only that this was trolling, but of the manner and type of troll at work (the sex kind).

'She' certainly knew a great deal about the inner workings of the sex industry, the procedure, the 'shorthand' language for obtaining the services they required, and the method of paying for them.

I'd put good money on not.

The site is rife with these people.

anothermnuser123 · 05/03/2025 15:26

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 05/03/2025 15:14

I don't know how many times I have mentioned that I've been sucked in myself before? I have. It's annoying, I agree with you. Reporting doesn't mean that it will be deleted (I know that too) but if you're reporting then you know the thread's a scam and you don't keep investing.

It's up to other users to not be perpetually gullible. Or, if they are, then take it on the chin.

This isn't a safe site, none of them are and it's folly to think otherwise or put other people in charge of our safety online.

You are still making the assumption that everyone that uses the site has the ability to shake it off and the intelligence to learn from it. Unfortunately that isn't the case and those people will get sucked in, won't learn from it and it will happen again and again.

And when those threads are repeatedly reported, you can't warn as its 'troll hunting' and you know there are people that will be taken in, its more than a little annoying.

I remember threads where someone made up a baby dying and people were giving them money, the same making up a child with cancer, again that was reported and reported and so many got taken in and were really emotional about it, and it took far too many threads to get deleted.

Yes in an ideal world we would all be smart, not get invested, not give more than we can (whether that be money or time or anything else) but unfortunately not everyone has that ability. And again maybe in an ideal world they would be kept away from these sites for their own safety but why shouldn't they be able to use them to get their own advice and have connections with the world when for some it may be their only connection.

We shouldn't assume that every user has the ability to be fully switched on, unemotionally invested and the ability to be level headed at all times. People get scammed online every day for the very reason that some are more vulnerable than others with these things. When we see that, if we are categorically told we cannot warn others because it is 'troll hunting' and our only way to help protect someone who may be vulnerable, is to report, then yes I do think MN have a responsibility to put the people using the site before some extra clicks and act in a bit more of a timely manner. This one was clearly a bunch of crap a long time before it was removed.

Like I say this time it was only time invested but it can lead to more than time. You also dont ever know how a post will emotionally affect someone else. Just because it didn't affect you, that's not to say it won't to someone else.

I just hate this mentality of oh it didn't bother me, so it shouldn't bother anyone. These threads can and do affect people in different ways and when it's clear they are fake, they should be removed.

I won't keep making the same points but I feel it's a bigger issue and the no troll hunting line is all well and good, as long as these threads are actually moderated. But it seems they aren't while they are generating clicks and personally I think that's wrong.

BunnyLake · 05/03/2025 15:28

I never see it as wasting my time when a thread is fake because if I’m on here anyway then I’m either on it while I’m doing something else, having a cup of tea or maybe on a train journey.

LovelyLeitrim · 05/03/2025 15:29

LindorDoubleChoc · 05/03/2025 11:39

What a surprise not. I'm still amazed at how many people are taken in.

I agree

Onlycoffee · 05/03/2025 15:32

Ok, I'm obviously an idiot, I believed it because the DH sounded exactly like my brother who is a compulsive liar. Exactly like him!

So we'll done to the op if it was a creative writing exercise because you got the "pathological compulsive liar male" just right.

INeedAnotherName · 05/03/2025 15:36

ThanksItHasPockets · 05/03/2025 15:21

I'm still holding stubbornly on to my 1000 posts to a page, which apparently marks me out as an old timer as it hasn't been an option for so long!

So you are the person that is destabilising the MN server! Shame on you!

Grin
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 05/03/2025 15:42

anothermnuser123 · 05/03/2025 15:26

You are still making the assumption that everyone that uses the site has the ability to shake it off and the intelligence to learn from it. Unfortunately that isn't the case and those people will get sucked in, won't learn from it and it will happen again and again.

And when those threads are repeatedly reported, you can't warn as its 'troll hunting' and you know there are people that will be taken in, its more than a little annoying.

I remember threads where someone made up a baby dying and people were giving them money, the same making up a child with cancer, again that was reported and reported and so many got taken in and were really emotional about it, and it took far too many threads to get deleted.

Yes in an ideal world we would all be smart, not get invested, not give more than we can (whether that be money or time or anything else) but unfortunately not everyone has that ability. And again maybe in an ideal world they would be kept away from these sites for their own safety but why shouldn't they be able to use them to get their own advice and have connections with the world when for some it may be their only connection.

We shouldn't assume that every user has the ability to be fully switched on, unemotionally invested and the ability to be level headed at all times. People get scammed online every day for the very reason that some are more vulnerable than others with these things. When we see that, if we are categorically told we cannot warn others because it is 'troll hunting' and our only way to help protect someone who may be vulnerable, is to report, then yes I do think MN have a responsibility to put the people using the site before some extra clicks and act in a bit more of a timely manner. This one was clearly a bunch of crap a long time before it was removed.

Like I say this time it was only time invested but it can lead to more than time. You also dont ever know how a post will emotionally affect someone else. Just because it didn't affect you, that's not to say it won't to someone else.

I just hate this mentality of oh it didn't bother me, so it shouldn't bother anyone. These threads can and do affect people in different ways and when it's clear they are fake, they should be removed.

I won't keep making the same points but I feel it's a bigger issue and the no troll hunting line is all well and good, as long as these threads are actually moderated. But it seems they aren't while they are generating clicks and personally I think that's wrong.

MNHQ has said not to give money. They say it often and I think it's on top of the board anyway? They also pop onto threads to say the same thing. What are they supposed to do next?

If people choose to ignore then I really don't care. Stupid is as stupid does. My Nan's saying that was and she wasn't wrong.

Some people shouldn't be online for their own protection.

Hollietree · 05/03/2025 15:42

It was clearly fake.

MN staff clearly kept it up for 4 full threads knowing that it was fake, but was getting so many clicks.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 05/03/2025 15:43

Onlycoffee · 05/03/2025 15:32

Ok, I'm obviously an idiot, I believed it because the DH sounded exactly like my brother who is a compulsive liar. Exactly like him!

So we'll done to the op if it was a creative writing exercise because you got the "pathological compulsive liar male" just right.

... and a slow handclap for you too. Any budding fantasist wanting to spam this board has another nugget of useful info.

StumbleInTheDebris · 05/03/2025 15:50

sometimes there are posters who are so obviously dishonestly engaging in a thread that it's frustrating not being able to say it "out loud"...

Yes, can't disagree with you there! Drives some of us to snidey comments... BlushGrin

anothermnuser123 · 05/03/2025 15:51

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 05/03/2025 15:42

MNHQ has said not to give money. They say it often and I think it's on top of the board anyway? They also pop onto threads to say the same thing. What are they supposed to do next?

If people choose to ignore then I really don't care. Stupid is as stupid does. My Nan's saying that was and she wasn't wrong.

Some people shouldn't be online for their own protection.

Yes they do sometimes pop onto a board and say it but things are missed, and people as ive repeatedly said aren't always switched on and just want to help and dont see how many people lie and scam online.

You clearly have the attitude of you are smart and switched on and therefore if people aren't, they shouldn't be online and who cares. I dont share that view.

I do think Mumsnet has a responsibility and I do think that they put site traffic and clicks before people too much and it's clear by their slow responses to removing threads. You obviously dont think that, that's your perogative but my view is different and I think Mumsnet should act faster in a lot of circumstances.

Timeistightagain · 05/03/2025 15:52

MrsDrDear · 05/03/2025 14:55

Troll hunting is against the rules but I would love to know how many people actually pressed the report button.

It was so fake but I just stopped reading after part 2 appeared.
I've made reports in the past about obvious fake threads but you get the usual 'looks ok behind the scenes'.

Surely if MN were receiving quite a few reports on this then they would have to pull it. No idea how it got to 4 threads.

When I reported it part way through thread 3 the reply I got was something along the lines of " we are letting it stand for now". Which implied to me they were considering pulling it . I actually checked back a few times to see if it had been deleted and was surprised when not only it was allowed to run but that a 4th thread was allowed to start.

Onlycoffee · 05/03/2025 15:55

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 05/03/2025 15:43

... and a slow handclap for you too. Any budding fantasist wanting to spam this board has another nugget of useful info.

Sorry what? Not sure what you mean? The thread has been deleted so the info has gone.

WilmaTitsDrop · 05/03/2025 15:55

BunnyLake · 05/03/2025 15:28

I never see it as wasting my time when a thread is fake because if I’m on here anyway then I’m either on it while I’m doing something else, having a cup of tea or maybe on a train journey.

Exactly!

People make out like they've wasted all this 'invested time' that could've been spent doing something else?

Go and do something else then.

No-one's getting paid for imparting their words of wisdom and no-one's going to say something so profound, that no-one else couldn't say in their absence.

MN won't crumble and die if the over invested stop over investing.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 05/03/2025 15:58

As a general rule anything that goes on for more than one thread is made up, if a thread becomes popular most people are embarrassed by the attention of a lot of responses and back away (Not in every case, like the air wrap thread was genuine I think ) but in the majority of cases

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 05/03/2025 16:01

anothermnuser123 · 05/03/2025 15:51

Yes they do sometimes pop onto a board and say it but things are missed, and people as ive repeatedly said aren't always switched on and just want to help and dont see how many people lie and scam online.

You clearly have the attitude of you are smart and switched on and therefore if people aren't, they shouldn't be online and who cares. I dont share that view.

I do think Mumsnet has a responsibility and I do think that they put site traffic and clicks before people too much and it's clear by their slow responses to removing threads. You obviously dont think that, that's your perogative but my view is different and I think Mumsnet should act faster in a lot of circumstances.

My last post to you as I'm getting bored of saying the same thing. I have been caught out before, several times. That's on me. The warnings are there.

If people aren't 'switched on' then, for their own sake, they shouldn't be online. They're not able to 'help' if they're going to fall for a lot of old tosh and possibly get scammed themselves.

You want a net-nanny. You're out of luck.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 05/03/2025 16:03

Onlycoffee · 05/03/2025 15:55

Sorry what? Not sure what you mean? The thread has been deleted so the info has gone.

Yes, I realise, sorry. That was a bit snippy as well, apologies. The thread was up there so long though that any hairy-handed writer of (dreadful) fairy stories could take endless notes of what to do...

Violashifts · 05/03/2025 16:08

Eveb if it was fake. There was good advice for others.

BunnyLake · 05/03/2025 16:11

I think the original OP had probably just binge watched all The Inbetweeners and decided to turn it into a thread. Jay being it’s inspiration.

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