It's the 2019 Christmas name change competition! <jingle>

[YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet]

Come they told me
Pa rum pum pum pum
A Christmas name change to see
Pa rum pum pum pum
Our finest gifts to win
Pa rum pum pum pum
A Mumsnet mug maybe some gin
Pa rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum

HO HO HO! It’s the most wonderful time of the year - the Mumsnet Christmas Name Change Competition.

It’s time to get your box of festive puns down from the attic and spend the next three weeks untangling them even though when you put them away last January they were ABSOLUTELY NOT TANGLED.

Ahem. Anyway - we’re after a Christmas-themed name change that is a play on your usual name. To enter, simply post on this thread under your new name.

The competition will run until December 23rd and we’ll announce the winner on Christmas Eve.

Cheers & good luck to all.

Jesus that doesn't even rhyme. Why not ask them to honour you with their woad?

Or toad.

Or load. Messy though.

Well, I'm getting my 12 paddle out for Lad. A 0 for Jesus.

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet@yet

How is the winner picked? Is it random? If not, someone has made a pun out of a Christmas song!

LadzChristmasYouShatonmyThigh with an accompanying song!

The artistry is stunning and an ode to Wham RIP.

Lido what's wrong with Jesus? Jealous?

Away in a manger
In a box, not a bed
A kitten called Jesus
Put his paw o'er his head

The stars in the bright sky
Looked down where he lay
A kitten called Jesus
Sleeps almost all day

The cats are all meowing
The poor kitten awakes
But this kitten called Jesus
What a racket he makes

I stroke thee, kitten Jesus
For I am thy slave
Then thou scratcheth and bite me
To make sure I behave

Be near me, kitten Jesus
I begged thee to stay
But when I fit thee a cat flap
Thou fucketh off all damned day

Thou scratched the fucking carpet
And the sofa's been chewed
Yet despite that I love thee
Or else I'd be dead too

I know that's you "kitten", this is....WAR.

I love thee O Lad
You Shat on My Thigh
You smoke like a chimney
It will make you die

Formerly TheNestedIf.

❅ (not a special one)

Was Gruffalo Crumble

We're doing songs now?!?
Okay I see your George Michael and raise you Maschreia Scary

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about my presents
Unless delivered by Lee Mead
I just want you for my brew
My thirst for you just grew and grew
I'll bribe you with a hug
All I want for Christmas is an MN mug
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need,
and I
Don't care about the kiddies
Who's just pooed or who's just peed
I don't need to film my stocking
Put it up on social med
Santa Claus won't make me happy
Even if we do the deed
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Don't give me that shrug
All I want for Christmas is an MN mug
I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for gin cos I
I just wanna keep on waiting
For you to put my teabag in
I won't make a list and leave it
With naice ham for MN to see
I won't even stay awake
With trolls and goady fuckery
'Cause I just want you here tonight
I'll keep you warm and hold you tight
How many heartstrings can I tug?
Oh, Baby all I want for Christmas is an MN mug

*
I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just wanna MN mug
Standing right outside my door
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
To carry all the tea I chug
Baby all I want for Christmas is an MN mug

(this was the interlude which no-one ever remembers the tune for)
Festive threads are trending
AIBUs everywhere
And the sound of MILs
cackling fills the air
And everyone is trolling
I hear those bastards lolling
HQ won't you send me
The mug I really need
Won't you please bring my brew to me quickly?

Merry Xmas

Dashing high and low
How we love to play
O’er the gardens we go
Purring all the way
Bells round necks do ring
On furry bibs so white
Oh what fun it is to purr and sing
A pussy song tonight!
Gingle cats, gingle cats,
Gingle all the way.
Oh! what fun it is to run inside,
To use our litter tray.
Gingle cats, gingle cats,
Gingle all the way;
Oh! What fun it is to run inside,
To use our litter tray.

Formerly TheWhoreOfStMawes.

All this singing be doing my head in. Put a sock in it or I be giving you me festive version of the Good Ship Venus. No one wants that!

I do be liking George Michael though.

LAD FOR PRIME MINISTER!!!!

What a talent!!

We don't need a castle, we're going to CHEQUERS!!!!!!!

Was Boxerbinky 💫🎁

Oh Tractor can we vote for LAD? I really hope so! She's amazing, she does a lot for charity i hear, Russians, miners, everyone.

Jesus did you play Assumpta in Ballykissangel? You seem strangely familiar.

I reckon as it's the season of goodwill (allegedly) that while there should only be one winner, some of the other songs deserve a runners up mug.

I ought to be able to do something with this name but I get stuck wondering who the heck Gloria is.

I agree Dong. Can we have runners up prizes @MNHQ? I’m really enjoying the sportsmanship / ferocious competition.

Estefan.

You're welcome 😊

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet

Please can you tell us everything that is in the prize cupboard at your offices in Kentish Town? Is it catalogued, do you have a list?

Could you just, use the mugs yourselves?