TDWP and recent goings-on

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello

We thought it would be useful to explain our understanding of what occurred last week between Zombie, Footsteps/TDWP, Rhubarb etc to try to clear up any misunderstandings.

When the situation started to develop last week, we absolutely did not know that Footsteps was TDWP. We unearthed something to suggest that she was near midnight on the night that everything was kicking off. At that point, one MNer was waiting in a public place to meet up with her, and we had been told by Zombie and by Nom that the police were aware of the rendezvous details and were standing by to help if anything went wrong.

We could see from some PMs flying around that posters were saying that the crime reference number checked out, and that the refuge had confirmed they had a space for her, so at this point we thought the best course was to keep channels of communication open. So we didn't ban Footsteps again at that point, despite having realised who she was. We did re-ban her once things had settled down and we had been told she was in a safe place. Given past history, TDWP is not a poster we would consider allowing back to Mumsnet permanently.

At various points throughout the evening we were in phone or text contact with Zombie and with Rhubarb, mostly trying to establish (as far as we could) what was going on and whether people were behaving safely. FWIW, we thought at the time - and still do - that it was a hugely risky thing to do, and not something we would advise or encourage. We would never recommend that any MNer goes into a situation like this, particularly not on her own. As most of you will know, we remind posters regularly that not everyone on the internet is who and what they say they are. We're pulling together some content on internet safety for adults and hope to publish that soon.

We asked Rhubarb at the time (before we had conclusive evidence about Footsteps's identity) whether she thought the person Zombie was meeting was a previously banned poster, and she said that she had no reason to think it was.

Pretty much everything else took place off-board and via channels that we have no access to - so beyond this account we aren't able to say with certainty what has gone on.

Poo troll.... That's another one!

yes primark.

TLES was real as far as I know but was fairly dramatic in way of posting, and sort of onvited trouble/drama upon herself and wouldn't always listen to reason or DO anything about it despite a lot of complaining. You know the type? I do remember seeing her FB and from photos etc everything seemed real.

Didnt she get 'kettled' by the police at a Festival?

Rowan thank you for your reply earlier - sorry I didn't respond then, I didn't realise how close to school pick up time it was - a bit of a dash!!

I would QUOTE your post, but us plebs don't have that facility Thank god, it would be a nightmare!!

I can see what you are saying about feeling that you had to, though reluctantly, delete those threads and I understand your reasons behind that - but doesn't it make a total mockery of it that those self same posters are still posting under the same names??

What exactly has been achieved by you deleting the threads, except posters denying they said the things they said or denying they'd seen things others had written?

As for TDWP - she was back posting the next day.

Thank you for this thread HQ. I am seeing similarities with another poster I was involved with where the thread went bang yesterday - good to know that HQ are on top of issues like this and although it's not always possible to prevent occasions like the Footsteps one, sometimes it is and it's done well.

Yes she was Chipping and she outed herself!

There's another one I'm suspicious about at the monent, or has this all made me paranoid!

Zombie sighs (very deeply). She steps out of persona to reply in the first person.

I only became aware of this thread and the other two from today about an hour ago as I have been doing RL things today. I’ve read quickly through all three.

I will begin by offering a massive apology to MNHQ for all the additional work I have caused them over the last week.

I did not read any of last week’s threads after they kicked off. By the time I was in a position to spend more than a fleeting few minutes online they had been deleted. However a number of people have told me about them and, as these various reports are consistent, I assume they are accurate. I did start a thread on Friday morning just to reassure everyone that I was safe and well. I gather that one also kicked off and again by the time I could go back to it, it had also been deleted.

I had followed Footsteps’ thread throughout the day on Thursday. I and I alone took the decision to offer to go and get her to safety. I did not ask anyone if I should do this. No one encouraged me to do this. The responsibility for that decision rests squarely with me.

Having taken this decision I then advised a few people of what I was doing. I emailed MNHQ and PMd Rhubarb and nom giving them all the details of where I was meeting Footsteps and my mobile phone number. I also advised an RL friend. I took the same precautions I have always taken when meeting someone in RL that I only know via the internet. Yes, I have met other people from the internet; online dating has a lot to answer for. Further precautions were put in place as the evening developed.

While I was driving, my mobile phone was going crazy. I do not use the phone while driving. I do not use hands free as I think that is just as distracting as picking the phone up. At one point traffic came to a standstill and it became obvious there had been an accident somewhere up ahead (recovery vehicle squeezing through stationary traffic was a big clue). While stopped with my engine switched off I took the chance to look at my messages and I rang Rhubarb. I may also have texted RebeccaHQ at that point to let her know I was OK. Traffic then started moving again and I drove on.

A while later I stopped at a service area for a cup of coffee and to reply to texts. I then continued. I had a bit of trouble finding the meeting point and spent more time texting and speaking with people. My recollection is that it was at this time that nom said she would alert the police. I then found the very public meeting place and made the staff aware of the situation. Footsteps was then told that I was at the meeting place and she showed up about 10 minutes later. She was on the phone to the police when she came in and I spoke with them. They wanted to know where I was taking her. I told them I would book a hotel about an hour away. They asked me to confirm when this had been done and gave me the info to get back in touch with them. I did as they asked.

We spent about an hour in the very public place. Had either of us been uncomfortable about the other I would have taken her to a nearby hotel and left her there. We then went to the pre-booked hotel for the night.

On Friday morning she got a new SIM card for her phone as her H was bombarding her with calls (which were not answered) and texts. I have the old SIM card. There were some texts saved to the phone and I deleted those for her. We then moved on to a service area near our destination and got final instructions and directions from WA. We met them at the railway station and they took her on to the refuge. I came home.

As I said earlier, I didn’t see any of the threads once they kicked off. I don’t know who said what to whom. However having read today’s threads I do feel some folk are being unnecessarily harsh to both Rhubarb and nom.

I’m quite happy to reply to questions but will say absolutely nothing about any of the geographical locations involved.

This is all going a bit "Introducing The Stig" now- ^Some say that he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves..."

So was the person you met a previously banned poster?

And did the uncle show up? What was all that about?

I think interventions are best left to services not well intentioned but misguided others

Hope you're alright zombie. X

Thank goodness we've got to the bottom of the 'near midnight' thing - it's been troubling me all day. I was on the verge of googling what it means to be 'near midnight' thinking it might be some euphemism for being someone who goes out in their nightie and barks at the moon.

So are you all saying that the entire thing was probably a fabrication? Whatever else TDWP may have said and done on MN in the past (and I have no idea) it is still possible that the hammer-wielding husband was all true?

You're a nice lady Zombie but what you did was incredibly foolish.
And you did meet up with a poster who is not all she seemed, to quote MNHQ.
You were lucky in my opinion. Next time leave it to the police.

Fucking hell, scary stuff.

Some people need serious help.

Yes,zombie needs to rein in the charging around saving people

Joules68, yes, it appears she is. Uncle dropped her at the meeting point.

I'm fine, MrsBungle.

Uncle dropped her at the meeting point?