TDWP and recent goings-on

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello

We thought it would be useful to explain our understanding of what occurred last week between Zombie, Footsteps/TDWP, Rhubarb etc to try to clear up any misunderstandings.

When the situation started to develop last week, we absolutely did not know that Footsteps was TDWP. We unearthed something to suggest that she was near midnight on the night that everything was kicking off. At that point, one MNer was waiting in a public place to meet up with her, and we had been told by Zombie and by Nom that the police were aware of the rendezvous details and were standing by to help if anything went wrong.

We could see from some PMs flying around that posters were saying that the crime reference number checked out, and that the refuge had confirmed they had a space for her, so at this point we thought the best course was to keep channels of communication open. So we didn't ban Footsteps again at that point, despite having realised who she was. We did re-ban her once things had settled down and we had been told she was in a safe place. Given past history, TDWP is not a poster we would consider allowing back to Mumsnet permanently.

At various points throughout the evening we were in phone or text contact with Zombie and with Rhubarb, mostly trying to establish (as far as we could) what was going on and whether people were behaving safely. FWIW, we thought at the time - and still do - that it was a hugely risky thing to do, and not something we would advise or encourage. We would never recommend that any MNer goes into a situation like this, particularly not on her own. As most of you will know, we remind posters regularly that not everyone on the internet is who and what they say they are. We're pulling together some content on internet safety for adults and hope to publish that soon.

We asked Rhubarb at the time (before we had conclusive evidence about Footsteps's identity) whether she thought the person Zombie was meeting was a previously banned poster, and she said that she had no reason to think it was.

Pretty much everything else took place off-board and via channels that we have no access to - so beyond this account we aren't able to say with certainty what has gone on.

That looks like quite a big bath doesn't it?

Its made me feel very dirty, that's for sure Honey....

'As a thought experiment - what if people had played by the site rules and not called troll on the threads in question. What if the regulars, instead of posting hmm and casting doubts had simply said "this doesn't seem to be a sensible thing to do and I hope everyone is ok" ? The people involved may or may not have ended up feeling a bit blush but they would not have felt bullied and attacked.'

Cats did you actually see the thread at the time? Forgive me if you have already clarified this.

It's just you seem to be talking about a different thread to the one I was involved with. Most people DID post exactly what you are suggesting. Hardly anyone said 'Oh this is a troll'. That wasn't the issue at the time. Not till much further in. People were more concerned at the RL events unfolding, true story or not.

I don't remember seeing any posts at all, either.

I think it would be helpful if MNHQ posted a link to the deleted thread (locked) so people could actually read what was posted.

It would put an end to 'you said this, no I didn't' rubbish that has been spawned over the last few days and help others comprehend quite how dreadful some of the worst trolls can be.

'No, trolls are toxic. Only one person created this ill feeling and that was the troll in question.'

I agree with this completely.

I'm reluctant to post on this thread, as it's just keeping the hoo-ha going. I do want to say though, that no matter what TDWP has posted in the past, she did genuinely go into a refuge and needed that help. Whether or not anyone on here should have gone to meet her is a moot point, and there is absolutely no question that it shouldn't have been played out on MN the way it was. But I'm uncomfortable that she is being cast as the baddie here, and it being assumed that the whole thing was made up, as we know there is a real woman in a real frightening situation here. She isn't allowed back on mumsnet, as Rowan posted, so it's hard to read such harsh criticism of her when she has no right to reply, and nobody really knows what the background to all this is. As it is, I presume that she is now getting help to get back on an even keel, and reading MN won't be a priority for her right now. I hope so.

And I hope that MN can get back to offering the sort of support it is best at: being a listening ear and signposting RL resources to help each other in frightening situations.

Bof your point is a very good one and something I have felt uneasy about too.

But actually she was here again the day after, causing more hassle, flinging accusations, and again last night on the now finished thread regarding this issue.

I don't think she's disappeared.

I hope she is getting the help she needs but I don't think she's stopped posting and I don't think she will.

Fucking hell, not this again. I can't wait until it goes away, with all the wailing and gnashing of teeth, arse kissing, troll hunting and tedium that has accompanied it.

I don't think she will stop posting either. The word Banned is quite obviously fluid in her world.

There's no arse kissing in our bath! How dare you.

Sorry Exit

Who's made that Jacuzzi effect in there though?

.

I thought she was back posting the very next day under a nc and very merrily outed herself?

May I just remind you all that Zombie made what she felt was an informed decision based on Foots' early posts. By the time the big drama erupted Zombie was driving with no way of accessing the thread until she arrived at the rendezvous.She was in phone contact with Rhu and MnHQ. She is a good and lovely mnetter without whom the site would be a poorer place.Everyone has said what needs to be said and I think you should all go and find a thread about p&c parking or eccles cakes and let this be.

LAST NIGHT????

Pfffft. Don't mind the bullies comments.

If more than two posters with a Mnet shelf life of over two years turned up to post on a thread about cabbage, someone would turn up and go "bulliiiiiiiies".

I'm sorry but that's just the way things are. Deal with it.