DBF BANNING THREAD: 3

[oldqueenie]

are we allowed to carry on discussing this?

I got deleted a while back for posting 'why don't you just fuck off you shit stirring cunt' or something similar.

It went pretty quick but I sat happily refreshing it before it did.

I gloriously abandoned PARD for a while. Childish and all that but I really meant it.

I never report attacks against me. I like the world to see the arses out in the open (ooh-errrr vicar)

oh there are times pag when one must just throw pard to the winds and really let rip

indeed

I agree with SilverFrog - whilst someone might not like being told to Fuck Off it's not a personal attack in the way that 'You are ugly' is, is it? I also don't see why people can't take being told things like 'You are an idiot' - it's only someone's opinion, why take offence?

Really? You really don't see that this might offend someone? Or that it is a personal attack?

I'm gobsmacked.

What, in your view, would be a personal attack then?

come talk train sex..

Please explain to me why 'you are ugly' is a personal attack but 'you are an idiot' is not.

I genuinely can't understand why one is and one isn't!

because looks are waaaaay more important than brains, y'know. saying someone is ugly attacks their very very core.

being an idiot doesn't matter one way or another, as long as you're purty.

i thought everyone knew that?

Please tell me you are joking, madwoman?!

Hello. A personal attack is an attack that is personal ie an attack on the person, rather than her views.

In poncey Latin, that would be an ad hominem attack.

So....

Fuck off, HelenMumsnet... is a personal attack

HelenMumsnet, you are an idiot.... is a personal attack

HelenMumsnet, you are ugly... is a personal attack

HelenMumsnet, the way you're trying to explain what a personal attack is is fucking rubbish ... is NOT a personal attack (though not very civilised)

Hope this clarifies thing a bit.

dont be so hard on yourself Helen

So,

....... you are acting like an idiot is not ?

A bit like if you make a statement, you make it your opinion,

........ I think you are an idiot because....... is not ?

I thought you were quite attractive myself

[suck up emoticon]

purty.
she's v purty.

where i come from you can say 'with all due respect' and then say 'you're an idiot'.

it's gone out of fashion now though, the respect thing. the idiots, not so much...

I don't like all the talk of prefects either, smacks of MN Police. There is not a group of people who go around reporting posts as far as I know. You might get a group of people who goad you into a reponse, I know that has definitely happened to me, they wind you up until you get so mad that you write a furious post that is immediately deleted. However I don't blame them for 'forcing' me into personally attacking them, it takes two to argue after all. I blame myself for being so sensitive and not keeping a check on my temper.

The last time that happened to me was in the infamous feminist section and in the end I just had to walk away, although I was furious at what was being implied and what had been said. The clever posters manage to insult you without being obvious and that's what you need to do back. I've learnt not to let my vulnerable side show and to walk away. It's not always easy, but the way to win an argument is not by shouting and screaming but by being impossibly reasonable.

Sure there are times when we all want to tell someone what a fucker they are, but actually that person is not just a faceless screen but a real human being and for that reason we have to take a step back at times. They might deserve being called a fucker, but I should imagine that on another thread at another time you might well end up agreeing with them. So I agree with the Mumsnet stance that you should direct your anger towards their behaviour and what they are saying, rather than them personally.

Phew, all that sensibleness took effort!

HelenMN your opinion is idiotic...?

at Rhubs. You'll never keep it up.

@SeeLyon

dont be so hard on yourself Helen

Rofl

No longer "millions of Jefferies"

Well my world just fell apart.

Beyond

Wouldn't it have to be

I think your opinion is idiotic, otherwise you are making it personal ?

I agree with Rhubarb

But sometimes you get so riled you forget all reasoning.

@BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability

HelenMN your opinion is idiotic...?

That wouldn't be a personal attack as it stands - because it's saying the opinion the poster holds is idiotic, not that the poster is an idiot.

But t'would depend on the context of the post/thread.

I always like Paggy's:

I have a friend who thinks like that. She is an absolute cunt.

"t'would depend on the context of the post/thread"

So only if MN agreed that the person you were talking to was being stoopid?

@GalaxyWeaver

i always report if i think someones being offensive or rude or making personal attacks.. i think its then up to MNHQ to decide if it warrants a ban or if i've flagged a few on a thread, if the thread needs addressing as a whole.

There is no point self-policing a forum if no-one bothers and then when someone does, and a poster ends up getting banned, whining about it.