Page 3 | Male posters

Judeisnotobscure · 2023-02-15T20:23:38+00:00

Hey guys…may I say that I am really grateful for the male perspectives shared on these threads. Sadly I’ve read some horribly negative comments this evening. Please don’t be put off posting!

Rieslinger · 16/02/2023 19:01

@Judeisnotobscure Lovely post.

I do LinkedIn for work and MN for the Sex Thread, nothing else SM wise.

I ignore the pile ons re reinforcing Stereotypical BS and contribute to those who seem properly genuine.

My POV is I hope the flakes and ranters will gradually just FTHO.

I will always share and try to help those who genuinely want and need it, if it doesn't work I'm sorry but I will always try. From my personal POV I put stuff out there but whether it's picked up or not no problem everyone is different.

@Iloveabaconbutty You are another solid individual and I do as well btw!!

Anyone watched Riders of Justice (movie)?

Iloveabaconbutty · 16/02/2023 19:11

@Rieslinger 🥓 🍞 = 🥪 👍 😂
And very well said!

Original poster

Judeisnotobscure · 16/02/2023 20:55

Lovely ones, I have had so much fun chatting and learning these last few weeks! But I don’t have headspace for all the hated and negativity being brought over from AIBU!! I’m gonna delete my account. Lots of love xx

OP posts:

NCSexForum · 16/02/2023 21:02

The best thing anyone can do is to ignore the threads about the sex forum, if the admins have any issues with any threads they will take them down but that hasn’t happened yet. I avoid AIBU myself because IMO it’s a very negative place.

Surplus2requirements · 16/02/2023 21:03

@Judeisnotobscure now I'm sad, I'm sorry you've been given such a hard time.

Do whatever you need to look after yourself x

Catullus5 · 16/02/2023 21:19

Judeisnotobscure · 16/02/2023 20:55

Lovely ones, I have had so much fun chatting and learning these last few weeks! But I don’t have headspace for all the hated and negativity being brought over from AIBU!! I’m gonna delete my account. Lots of love xx

Please don't - your contributions here are really good. I think it's metre

Catullus5 · 16/02/2023 21:21

Sorry - phone playing up again. I meant to say I think it's best just to ignore threads about the sex board. They don't really carry over to here. You quitting would be just what they want anyway.

But if you do find a better place for discussing sex issues without any sleaziness please to let me know.

PotteringPondering · 16/02/2023 21:42

I came to MN for gender critical feminism. I stayed for gender critical feminism and sex!

As a 50s m, I find it valuable to have a space to engage with thoughtful views on both. Most men's spaces are not good at raw emotional vulnerability and sharing personal stories.

Big thanks to OP and others for challenging those who'd want to chase us away with a pitchfork...

NoDatingForOldMen · 16/02/2023 21:47

Big thanks to OP and others for challenging those who'd want to chase us away with a pitchfork...

Get orf my land website 🍴

Iloveabaconbutty · 17/02/2023 07:41

Judeisnotobscure · 16/02/2023 20:55

Lovely ones, I have had so much fun chatting and learning these last few weeks! But I don’t have headspace for all the hated and negativity being brought over from AIBU!! I’m gonna delete my account. Lots of love xx

I'm really sorry you've decided to leave. I don't know if you've now actually gone and won't read this but just to say you'll be missed by a lot of people here. I've really enjoyed your warmth and thoughtful comment and your enthusiasm.

All the best to you and your DP. Why not check in with this Board occasionally? Hopefully you might be persuaded to rejoin one day....

Vohgue · 17/02/2023 10:27

I really like the positivity on this board. The men really add to that (in a good way!). It's a hard subject sometimes to talk about irl and the feedback here (from men in particular - I'm female) is really helpful. All of my girlfriends want to talk about is how shit men are and what sort of toys they are using. I've been happily married for 20+ years and just need some reassurance and tips!

Iloveabaconbutty · 17/02/2023 10:46

@Vohgue Thank you. That's very encouraging and much appreciated. It's good to know that we have something to offer.

And I agree with you about the positivity of this board. I'm learning a lot from women's contributions too - and realising from other men that I'm not the only one with this or that or the other issue. Things that you rarely if ever can talk about in real life. That can only be good.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 17/02/2023 10:55

Mrsbunnychops · 16/02/2023 13:58

Shoot me down but I'm really uncomfortable with males posting on this topic on a site for mums. For that reason I would never post. It makes me wonder why so many men are on this thread / topic and very few on other ones about less exciting topics?!! I'm not anti men at all but can't they go onto Dads net or something? It gives me the creeps tbh which is honestly how I feel so apologies if this is an unpopular opinion

It's not just a site for mums though. Many people use it who aren't mothers, should they go somewhere else to? Male or female are welcome on Mumsnet, if that makes you uncomfortable, maybe you should go somewhere else.

Vohgue · 17/02/2023 11:51

@Iloveabaconbutty I agree; as long as everyone is respectful, it is totally a good thing

Rieslinger · 17/02/2023 13:39

I really appreciate all the advice, suggestions and support from the guys and gals here and as long as you are respectful that is all I ask for.

AppleBrandy · 17/02/2023 14:35

Iloveabaconbutty · 16/02/2023 13:22

Just had a quick glance through "Site Stuff" on Active to see the men-bashing is continuing. We're all a bunch of pervs apparently, or men pretending to be women and getting off on that, or something.

It is a bit depressing tbh. But I'll keep on posting when I feel I want to share something or have anything useful to offer. It's a great discussion board and long may that continue despite what those who are making uninformed judgements are saying.

@Iloveabaconbutty

Just wanted to say thanks for the thoughtful and informative reply you gave to a thread I started. Appreciate your reply.

Agree with you @Judeisnotobscure - we absolutely need male perspectives and I for one am grateful for them.

Iloveabaconbutty · 17/02/2023 14:51

@AppleBrandy No problem at all. I think I'm speaking on behalf of a lot of other men here who simply want to contribute, and learn things ourselves to take into and improve our own relationships/marriages etc.

Rieslinger · 17/02/2023 15:00

Absolutely @Iloveabaconbutty I completely agree

Mrsbunnychops · 17/02/2023 20:10

It's simply how I feel I'm afraid... show me a group discussing these topics where men are not allowed and I'll join them instead

Surplus2requirements · 17/02/2023 20:27

Mrsbunnychops · 17/02/2023 20:10

It's simply how I feel I'm afraid... show me a group discussing these topics where men are not allowed and I'll join them instead

I don't want to dismiss your feelings but many threads here are women asking advice from men.

I understand the concern especially around unsolicited PMs and steps need to be in place to deal with unsavoury men, which apparently there are.

Of the threads I've read I've seen very little that could be described as titillating and overwhelmingly, helpful, respectful, non judgemental with some gental humour.

Newnamenewname109870 · 17/02/2023 20:29

I know you’re not all terrible but the fact you dominate the sex space feels a bit icky. Personally I feel like this is a woman’s space and men occupy literally everything else in life so why are they coming here, particularly on just the sex forum? Surely there are enough other forums that aren’t aimed at mums?

It would be like a white person deliberately going onto a forum for black people to discuss their issues and edging their way in taking over. Just feels weird.

RedLeopardSilk · 17/02/2023 20:34

I haven't read the threads in full. Appreciating that while I don't have a problem with the threads showing in 'active', understand that some others do. The current stance seems to be causing issues for both sides of the debate.

However, I'm aghast at the name calling and value laden vitriol aimed at those posting here. It's sad arguments cannot be conveyed without this. You shouldn't have to endure this, men folk

Surplus2requirements · 17/02/2023 21:13

Newnamenewname109870 · 17/02/2023 20:29

I know you’re not all terrible but the fact you dominate the sex space feels a bit icky. Personally I feel like this is a woman’s space and men occupy literally everything else in life so why are they coming here, particularly on just the sex forum? Surely there are enough other forums that aren’t aimed at mums?

It would be like a white person deliberately going onto a forum for black people to discuss their issues and edging their way in taking over. Just feels weird.

I think I'd posted in here maybe twice in the years ive been here before it blew up on the site stuff thread 😄

I do understand your point though and thank you for putting it across clearly and eloquently

LucyLeave · 17/02/2023 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AppleBrandy · 18/02/2023 00:04

I didn't realise that MN was exclusively for women? It's a pretty broad site.

I found it useful, for example, to hear some of the Dad perspectives when I was struggling with a newborn, and with his Father.

Up to the moderators I guess, but I can't agree with the idea that this is purely a safe space for women. Yes, we absolutely need that. And there are plenty of spaces here to receive it.