Male posters

[Judeisnotobscure]

Hey guys…may I say that I am really grateful for the male perspectives shared on these threads. Sadly I’ve read some horribly negative comments this evening. Please don’t be put off posting!

@Newnamenewname109870 I don’t find it “icky” that men post here. I don’t think it’s such a surprise that they would (😂) and I don’t personally find it offensive at all. As long as the poster is respectful I find it very helpful. I think the area of life which the majority of women are personally actively participating in with a man, it makes sense to hear men’s POV. There is also a contingent of women on MN who are very sex negative and angry at men for being interested in sex. If any women wanted only female POVs in a thread she can ask men to step back.

Sex is a very important part of my marriage, we are very compatible generally, but of course without sexual attraction and that frisson of flirting that we enjoy almost daily, it wouldn’t be a marriage but a very compatible platonic friendship. I have also found my sex drive increased as I have got older and I find it interesting to hear women and men discuss sex intelligently, openly and good naturedly. It seems bizarre that a forum is successful by having healthy conversations about sex would be criticized for attracting men.

It would be bizarre to talk abut heterosexual sex just with other women, as I am sure it could get as inaccurate and one-sided as a men’s sex forum which heard women’s POV.

Sorry, typos! Rhe last line should read “as a men’s sex forum which NEVER heard women’s POV”.

Of course men can post on MN as long as they respect it's a female centred forum and not a place where they get (or try) to disrupt that premise.

Talking about a male experience is fine and can be occasionally informative but once that tips over into normalising misogynistic behaviours then quite frankly said male can fuck off to the multitude of male dominated discussion boards - and you may well question their motives for venturing female sites in the first place.

Upshot is it's not my job to validate "nice" men or police "nasty" men.

I've no obligation to be kind to men posting here just because they are a minority (the clue is in the site name dudes) or feel grateful for their manly perspective.

@BreadInCaptivity I have never felt the need to validate or police any man on this board. Enjoying different POV doesn’t mean agreeing with them. I haven’t personally seen things that I considered inappropriate, if I did I would immediately report that; but then I would do the same on any MN board, I am assuming that doesn’t fall into the “policing” remit. I cannot remember ever reporting anyone on this board.

Mumsnet being sold wholesale in 5...4...3...

I'm frankly confused about what you seem to be disagreeing with me is....

@BreadInCaptivity maybe I misunderstood you, I thought you were suggesting that women regularly posting on the board were somehow “managing” their interactions with men, in fact centering men by validating them in some way. Apologies if I got the wrong end of the stick.

"The pick me" corner of Mumsnet.

Well I guess that includes you @QueenCamilla .

Why does it offend you so much @HerbalTeaAndCake that adults talk about sex? So much that you think it’s need’s to be denied altogether? All you have to do is ignore this board. Posting recipes just makes you look childish.

They're obviously not getting any and are jealous.

Looks like a nice recipe actually. I'm going to try it. Before we get down to sexy time.

Have you tried the Reddit sexover30 or 40, 50 or less 60 forums? They have decent info across the age spectrum compared to the basic r/sex

I only lick soup off DW. <prim>

It’s almost like the posters are being forced to post in the sex topic. I think they’re all projecting. It almost makes me wonder how they even have kids, if sex or the topic disgusts them that much. Maybe immaculate conception really is a thing 🤔

Not really. Most of us have no intention of being the cool wife/girlfriend/girl.

I'm another one who appreciates the differing perspectives from men on this board.

Am only an occasional visitor, first time posting, but the threads I've read have (mostly) been mutually respectful and with a decent exchange.

@Judeisnotobscure I don’t really understand why there are men on mumsnet? i wouldn’t join Dads net. last time i checked men are not mums

Blokes get grief for posting on most chats and the advice they get is skewed as soon as women realise they're talking to a man.
It's pointless bothering for them most of the time.
In this topic they are asked for advice specifically

I'd join dadsnet for different views.
It's not just for mums anyway the tagline says 'parents'
It's for anyone, nobody here can select who's allowed

I joined years ago some time after my marriage ended and joined primarily for parenting advice and to keep a female perspective in my life.

I also moderate a male dominated vehicle forum and MN is largely a relief though the last few days have challenged that.

I don't generally post much and of what I do the vast majority are in Aibu, Chat and DIY, until all this fuss blew up I posted in here maybe twice.