Male posters

[Judeisnotobscure]

Hey guys…may I say that I am really grateful for the male perspectives shared on these threads. Sadly I’ve read some horribly negative comments this evening. Please don’t be put off posting!

I'm a woman, and have posted on here a few times, replying rather than starting threads. Men's opinions are relevant when talking about heterosexual sex acts!! Sure, there are probably people who aren't here for the best reasons (like the whole of Mumsnet) but mostly this board is an interesting read.

I have, over the years, noticed that on Mumsnet there is a sort of ... primness ... with regard to sex. Women really enjoy sex too, and not just missionary with the lights out.

@Sux2buthen I said i don’t understand why! That’s not really the same thing as trying to select who is allowed. Also It’s says mumsnet not parents net so i disagree with you on that. But, whatever! People are allowed to wonder! i’m not about to start a petition on it! It was simply a statement!

For those disappointed by the vile women shaming BY OTHER WOMEN going on over here the past couple days, can I just recommend the Reddit /sexover30 subreddit, which has a similar vibe to this place. www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/

Hope Jude sees this. She was great.

@user1501270679 thanks and the 40's and ditto on Jude

Brief update....too much filtering out the numpties on the sexover** forums so for me so came back to MN/sex expecially as all the shouties have gone back to their regular threads x

too many so's sorry

I find it shocking that for a forum like MN where we focus on daily sexism us women experience, we find it completely find to spout misandry.

I welcome the men's opinions on topics such as sex, housing etc. On periods? On birth? On Feminism? Probably not.

Unless there are some downright sexist comments being posted why should they be discriminated against?

And to those saying it's MUMSnet...what an idiotic comment. There are childless users of this site, there are grandparents etc the site has adapted since its original intent and purpose solely for mums.

It was misogynistic, as well as misandrist, to suggest that the only people who might enjoy sex and talking about it are men. Its tone policing really. Deeply sexist all round.

Oh stop it with all the men bashing stuff. It's nothing like that. People feel uncomfortable about the large proportion of men who post on this topic and not others. It puts women off from posting, and that surely can't be the intention - this is primarily a site for women. There are lots of sites where men can go and talk about sex, with women if they want to. There is also a not very underlying level of sleaze on the chat thread in the sex topic (and other threads). I have also posted on the sex threads, but not for a male perspective. The sex topic is not at all in the spirit of what mumsnet is for and was set up for. If MNHQ want to change that because some vibrator company is paying them to, then that's up to them.

And you lot are just as bad stating that all the women who don't like this topic or who don't like it in Active Convos are prim and pearl clutching and don't like sex or whatever. What an assumption!

A lot of those women told us exactly that earlier this week. I appreciate that a lot of the posts have been deleted so you can no longer read them, but they absolutely were full of women saying that they didn't believe women could be responsible for some of the sex thread content, even when they said they were. And yes they were prim and pearl clutching and didn't like sex, they said as much.

Not liking some of the content on this board, especially from some of the male posters doesn't make anyone with a different opinion a pearl clutcher or someone who doesn't like sex.

Lucyleave,

I agree - it's the reaction that makes someone a pearl-clutcher.

I'm an occasional (male) visitor to the sex topic and I've been posting on Mumsnet for many years. I don't like some of the content on this board but I don't see that it's my business to comment on it or try to stop it.

I'm here to pick up a few ideas and things for DW and I to try and, being community-minded I will contribute if I think I have something worth saying. In my view anyone who thinks this is wrong has got a major attitude problem.

I'm not interested in getting my rocks off by being here or sending sleazy PMs.

But - and this is what I find really objectionable - according to a group on Mumsnet this can't be true - I must be a hairy-handed perve. It's impossible that my motives could ever be so innocent and straight forward because Men Aren't Like That.

I suspect they largely the same people who would like to ban men from Mumsnet, ie the best non-American parenting resource and community in the English-speaking world. Frankly I wonder just what sort of a world they belong in.

@WhamBamEatYourSpam Its not an idiotic comment. You sound like an idiot for being so unnecessarily rude! Why would anyone know/assume there would be anyone other than mums on here given the title? Maybe they should change the name if they are trying to appeal to a wider audience. There’s no reason for childless people to be on here. What even attracts them. There’s are 100s of forums. It’s weird.

You're being obtuse. You asked upthread why there are men on Mumsnet. Surely the answer is obvious: because they are parents too. Furthermore, the average childless person will have plenty of contact with children and responsibilities for them.

Do you believe that parenting and discussion of it should be restricted to women with children only?

I imagine there are childless people on here who have experienced infertility and may be regular users of the infertility boards and naturally comment on other topics that interest them, there’s a wealth of knowledge throughout Mumsnet, there are also childless people by choice as I’ve read these comments by the posters themselves and grandparents. I don’t think we should discriminate against anyone who wishes to use the site, as long as they remain respectful.

macaronicheese123's question is as old and unimaginative as macaroni cheese. It must get asked and answered every day on this website.

The right answer would be the equivalent of "have you tried turning it off and turning it on again".

In fact it's got a serious 1950s vibe: children are women's business and men wanting to be involved in parenting are weird and suspect.

what the fuck are you talking about? where did i say children were women’s work? ‘mumsnet’ implies is a place to chat to other mums about parenting. The name is misleading if it’s supposed to be for random childless people too. We can act like what i’m saying doesn’t make sense if you it makes you happy, but what i’m saying is perfectly logical.

There’s a tiresome and contradictory narrative on here

Women are way better than men but are also perpetually the victim, eternally vulnerable and really ought to spend their time being kind, feeling guilty and generally pandering.
Plus. finding sex important is just perverted like those horrible men

You are the one being unnecessarily rude here.

Your logic is no better than those who say the Spratly Islands should belong to China because they're in the South "China" Sea.

Even if that made sense (which it doesn't) you'd still be wrong because if you look at the Mumsnet logo, under the word "Mumsnet" you will read "By parents, for parents". Parents includes fathers.

It's painful to have to spell this out.

By excluding men from an - enormous - site like this you would be impliedly saying that men should not have an equal say in the parenting of their children. You may deny that that's what you intend but it would be the effect.

I have learned a lot from Mumsnet over the years and it's made me a better father and husband, but you, and people like you, would have denied me and my family that benefit.

ah you’re a man, should’ve known 🙄